Cheating cheaters

[catsclaw227]

Most problems do not have a simple solution. Why someone cheats in front of her friends cannot have a simple solution. Tread lightly.

If you really want to solve the problem you are going to have to talk to her one-on-one and see if she knows why she cheats. But this can easily lead to disaster. Primarily because she may not know why she cheats initially. As I said before, while she may have a rationalization for why cheating is okay, I doubt she's thought about why she resorted to cheating in the first place.

In my experience, the main reason why people cheat is because they think they can get away with it.

The reasons why and the rationalizations why are the purview of someone more qualified, but there's nothing ham-fisted about just taking her aside and saying "hey gal-pal, the fudging of the die rolls is making me uncomfortable. Let's just make a table rule to roll out in front of everyone." Pat her on the back and smile, then offer a beverage or ask her about whether she liked Iron Man.

This doesn't have to be a frakin' intervention.

In my case, If I want to set an example for my kids that cheating isn't something that is acceptable, I need to live by it.

It's perfectly reasonable to talk about it with her in a way that shows you aren't a jerk and yet you aren't dancing around china dolls and egg shells. Be direct, but be sure to be kind and compassionate with your honesty.

You also have to realize that "solving the problem" may not be possible. Perhaps she'll be too embarrassed to continue playing with your group if you confront her, no matter how delicately or ham-fistedly you approach the subject. She might be in such denial that she'll vehemently deny it and if you press she'll never speak to you again. Perhaps she'll nod and agree not to cheat any more to your face and then continue doing so. Then what will you do?

If she nods, agrees and then cheats again, then she has proven that either she has a clinical-grade problem or she doesn't respect you and your group.

At that point, the decision would be easy. It might be a sad decision, but there isn't much to do at that point.

 

[catsclaw227]

But again, just because you wouldn't play in a certain way, doesn't necessarily mean that someone else playing that way actually hinders your fun. So again, why does this bother the other players? Maybe they can accept it and move on, so that everyone can have fun, rather than telling one player she's just wrong, period.

I have never met a group that found it acceptable for one of the players to regularly cheat on their dice.

But that's just me.

 

[Obryn]

But again, just because you wouldn't play in a certain way, doesn't necessarily mean that someone else playing that way actually hinders your fun. So again, why does this bother the other players? Maybe they can accept it and move on, so that everyone can have fun, rather than telling one player she's just wrong, period.

We're talking about a specific player in my specific group, which specifically exists. In the world, not theory-land.

And, as I noted, it is, in fact, hindering my other players' fun.

I think it's more than a little crazy to suggest I should try and get the five or six other players at the table to just accept her cheating and move on, than to deal with the cheating itself.

-O

 

[Crothian]

There are really only so many ways of handling it. There is direct confrontation, having people watch her like a hawk, or passive agressively punish her when you think she's cheating.

If you want her to stop cheating but stay in the group talking to her is the best way. Most other options will just lead to her getting mad.

 

[Edgewood]

If I have a player who cheats I just cheat back. If they roll something and I know it wasn't the result they said they got, i just tell them something that they wouldn't want to hear.

"Well as you were swinging your sword, you tripped on an untied bootlace and fall flat on your face! Okay, who's next?"

basically you just negate the roll they made into something harmless.

 

[renau1g]

ONly problem with the edgewood is that he will piss off the player, which the OP wants to avoid. I'd agree that talking or rolling into a designated area are two suggestions that might work in this case.

 

[SteveC]

This is a really interesting discussion. Over the years I've played with many players who had the tendency to cheat, and for most of the time I did the whole "passive aggressive" thing of adjusting the opponents HP or attacks to compensate for it.

As I've gotten older, I find that I really loath the whole passive aggressive thing, and I've started to directly address issues like this with the person involved. I've found that it works so much better that it's on my time travel agenda to go back in time and tell myself this to save myself a lot of grief over the past.

If it's an issue for you and your group, you have to talk to her about it. I'd recommend something like saying: you may think that a little fudge here and there isn't a big deal, but it is for a lot of the group, so what's really going on? That's direct, to the point and gives her the opportunity to tell you what the issue is.

Odds are, there won't be an issue, at least one that she's able to express (it hasn't been with my players who have had this issue) so ultimately I just had to say "are you going to enjoy playing D&D if we just go by the rolls we make and don't fudge?" Most of the time the answer was yes. In the case where it wasn't, this player really enjoyed playing Spirit of the Century when I ran it later on. You just have to match the player to the right game.

--Steve

 

[renau1g]

Steve... I love your Sig... I always order my coffees like that and the person behidn the counter always give me the sneer....

 

[Edgewood]

ONly problem with the edgewood is that he will piss off the player, which the OP wants to avoid. I'd agree that talking or rolling into a designated area are two suggestions that might work in this case.

You're right about that. The player might be pissed off. But it I think it would bring the issue to the forefront. Basically if they want to cheat, fine, but don't expect me to turn a blind eye to it. Because if one player cheats another may cheat. There shouldn't be one set of rules for one player who cheats and a different set for one who doesn't.

I had a cheater in my game once and I did what I suggested and it worked out fine. In fact the player said he realized why I was doing it, and admitted to cheating and said he'd stop, which he did (from what I could tell ).

Of course the OP knows the personality of this player much better than we do, so who knows. Like you said. My idea may just piss off the player.

 

[Obryn]

Of course the OP knows the personality of this player much better than we do, so who knows. Like you said. My idea may just piss off the player.

Well, without any hard evidence to back me up, every approach I've made at it to date has ended with denial and a bit of defensiveness. I mean, "That looked like a 7 to me," "No, my dice are funny," is about as far as that conversation can go without getting stupid.

I have no specific problem with airing my grievances to her in private, and it may help the issue, but it may also just put her on the spot and make things unharmonius.

I strive for harmony at my gaming table, so that isn't my first choice.

Hence, my idea for somewhat subtle social correction. All I'm looking to do is solve the target behavior with a minimum of drama.

-O