Cheesy In-game things that make you want to scream.

[Aaron L]

Which language are the players speaking?

What should that matter to the contents of a riddle that should be in another language?


Also, one language per race has always bothered me, as well.

 

[rgard]

I was thinking about this the other day, and figure I'd post to see what cheese you've been exposed to in-game. What are some of the lamest, cheesiest, annoying, maddening things you've experienced?

One of mine is:
The Load-Bearing Boss - You've entered a grand hall to confront the BBEG. Around this lair lies the treasure and remains of it's victims. An epic battle ensues and, upon the creature's death, the lair begins to crumble. It's falling apart quickly! No time to get more than 1 or 2 pieces of treasure. Sure you could stay and loot, but then you'd be crushed by tons of rock. For some reason, the weight of the entire dungeon was being held on the back of the BBEG.

Worst cheese when I DM'd:

My first attempt at DMing I ran my friends through the Hill Giant Steading (G1) back in 1980. I had them on the ropes (two rounds at best from TPK), but saved them with the arrival of some friendly high level types. I think we all felt ripped off.

Now nearly 27 years later, I'm sure my players think there is cheese going on, but I'm just playing the BBEG as smart as his 20 Int would allow him. Whenever things look bad for the BBEG, he teleports out. I know the players feel ripped off, but they just haven't figured out how to prevent the BBEG's escape. One of the players also DMs a campaign I played in and my character has prevented BBGG (I played a wiz/ur-priest/mt) escape so I have given them a metagame solution.

 

[Trickstergod]

Sure there might be an equivalent. But it doesn't resemble an equivalent as written. I, too, use the "trade tongue" explanation, but that's not enough. What are two giant or orc tribes that have not contacted one another for centuries able to converse? It just doesn't make any sense to me.

Language complexity of that sort is more the purview of a campaign setting than anything the core rules should address. Tying various groups and their languages to tribes, geographical regions, gods, social castes, etc, in addition to their race and the like relies heavily on the context of the setting. While D&D certainly has a degree of implied setting, language is a fine detail, contrasting with the rather broad strokes of setting in the basic rules.

Meanwhile, at least a few campaign settings give some thought to language diversity, with Midnight, Scarred Lands and Iron Kingdoms at least giving it lip service.

Which is where that language diversity belongs: as an aspect to the setting, not rules.

Mind you, the basic rules could be a bit more generous with obtaining extra languages, but that's a different horse altogether.

 

[Sejs]

The Ever-So-Convincing Disguise
Beings of fantastic evil or singular power trying to disguise themselves will always do so in the form of an 'innocent-seeming' child. Never an young adult, teenager, grown-up, old person, nothing. Always a child.

The only time you memorably encounter children is when they are somehow corrupted or something else in disguise. Unless they're secretly adventure-worthy, children exist solely as background elements.


Never Trust A Skinny Barkeep
All barmen, innkeepers, tavern owners, etc are men that share one or more of the following qualities: portly, good-natured, married, balding, cheerful, or gone to seed. If they do not, they will poison your food, steal your possessions, and sell you off to slavers.

And they're always wiping down glasses as you enter. Always.


Wait Until My Father Hears About This!
Any princesses that you've just risked life and limb to rescue is an abrasive, abusive, spoiled-rotten hosebag that treats you like pondscum despite the fact that you've just saved her from certain doom.


ZOMG! Pirates!
A sea journey of any considerable length will be interrupted at some point, most likely by pirates. Possibly sea monsters, but usually pirates.

 

[Teflon Billy]

ZOMG! Pirates!
A sea journey of any considerable length will be interrupted at some point, most likely by pirates. Possibly sea monsters, but usually pirates.

I am not--nor have I ever met--a player who objects to this

 

[Gentlegamer]

What should that matter to the contents of a riddle that should be in another language?

The players aren't really speaking whatever fantasy language of the setting is. That a riddle is in the players' language is really no big deal. Assume it is a translation.

Being a bit of a Tolkienist, language "matters" to me, but this isn't one of my hang ups.

 

[Aaron L]

The players aren't really speaking whatever fantasy language of the setting is. That a riddle is in the players' language is really no big deal. Assume it is a translation.

Being a bit of a Tolkienist, language "matters" to me, but this isn't one of my hang ups.

I just prefer to avoid the situation by not using word puzzles.

Number puzzles, now that's something that's universal.

I am not--nor have I ever met--a player who objects to this

Neither have I. I usually go the extra mile and throw in an attack by ninjas after the pirate gold, though. Ninjas riding dinosaurs.

 

[Gentlegamer]

I just prefer to avoid the situation by not using word puzzles.

Number puzzles, now that's something that's universal.

Do you use Arabic numbers? See where this can go?

 

[thedungeondelver]

To be fair, Robert E. Howard did this more than once, although he usually made it seem somewhat plausible (the undead emperor of an ancient empire is finally slain, so his palace collapses around his ears, etc.). He didn't have the equivalent of an orc chieftain's hut collapse when its owner died.

I'll be doing this in an upcoming game, in fact, so I've been thinking about this issue a bit.

This gives me a fantastic idea: the party slices up a group of five kobolds in a mud hut barely tall enough and wide enough for them to fit into. Then suddenly, lightning rips the sky! Thunder crashes!...aaand the little hut falls down around them. Just...plop.

 

[jmucchiello]

I'm A Good Guy Please Retrieve This Evil Artifact For Me Surprise I'm Really Evil.

But players fall for it so easily. When someone offers you a dangerous job why in the world wouldn't you check up on the fellow. How many other folks has his sent into the Dread Swamp, never to return?