Chick strikes again! What do I do now?

[the Jester]

A while back I ran into a booth of Chick Tracts pushers at a Whole Earth Festival. They were quite taken aback when I demanded a copy of each tract they had there for my collection and when I was saddened at their lack of either "Halloween" or "Dark Dungeons."

How many of us collect these things, I wonder?

 

[herald]

Quickly our host pulls out his ancient Marvel Noprize he got as teenage and waves at the wolverine who fades into a four color ink spot on the stage manager hand.

Nice comeback!

 

[Cerubus Dark]

So I picked up the mail today, meaning Monday, and I get this letter with my name and address written on it with a black marker. Mysteriously there is no return address and the postmark is nothing but a bunch of black lines, conveniently hiding the city of origin.

So I opened it up and what did I find inside but The Beast, by J.T.C. Yes, folks Jack Chick has found me! What do I do? I figure I have to move at the very least, maybe change my name. Is entering the witness protection program going to far?

So what do I need to do and what should I do? My life depends on it.

Like I said before Welvin you can send the thing to me. I think its time I started to collect these. Email me if ya want

Don't forget your a gamer, you have lots of lives

 

[trancejeremy]

Someone probably did it as a joke - I know I did that once a couple years ago, signed up a bunch of people I knew (including my father) for a sample tract. They were all fairly amused.

 

[Angcuru]

I say we kidnap Jack Chick, tie him up to an electrified cheap metal folding chair, and pay George Carlin to argue with him. Every time JC starts preaching, he gets a shock, starting at 10 volts. Each successive time, the voltage increases by 1, then 2, then 3 (forgot what the mathematical term for this sort of pattern is) until he either drops his shtick or goes unconcious. If he falls unconcious, we rinse with alcohol and repeat.

 

[Flyspeck23]

How many of us collect these things, I wonder?

I would if I could. But I'm afraid there are no Chick Tracts in Europe. This stuff is great, very creative and so "retro".


What I'm wondering since I first layed eye on Dark Dungeon: doesn't this Chick know that comics are a tool of Satan?
(Edit: "This Chick"... sounds almost funny...)

 

[Welverin]

Like I said before Welvin you can send the thing to me. I think its time I started to collect these. Email me if ya want

I'll have to show it around first, but when I'm done it's yours.

 

[Mercule]

He is a religious evangelist who preaches his message through cartoon tract books.

And, as a Christian, let me distance myself from him as far as I possibly can.

Y'know, as a Christian, I'm supposed to be telling people, "God is Love. God is Good." With people like Jack Chick around, about the best I can manage somedays is, "Hey, at least we got rid of that Inquisition thingy. Now we only burn witches in effigy."

 

[Darrin Drader]

So what do I need to do and what should I do? My life depends on it.

You will soon be given a cell phone, which will ring. Answer it.

The man on the phone will give you instructions. Follow them. Don't be afraid.

You will be given two pills and asked to take one. Choose wisely!

 

[BrooklynKnight]

Send him a link to valar project.