Child abuse in regards to Dungeons and Dragons IRL, how should such things be handled.

[DammitVictor]

I call BS. The likelihood that reality so perfectly vindicates the OP up to and including the bogus cops saying you could be charged with accessory by not reporting suspicion is outside possibility.

Yeah. That is not even a little bit how mandatory reporting laws work, and they sure as hell don't apply to random strangers in gaming stores.

And I'm coming from a place where I want to agree with the OP. I wish that children had the property rights that he is so baselessly asserting, and that imposing arbitrary religious restrictions on children were actually considered child abuse, and that the child protective system actually gave a damn about emotional abuse.

I want to live in the OP's idealistic fantasyland. I want to live in a world where people do not sacrifice the well-being of innocent children on the altar of their desparate need to be right...

oh, wait...

 

[Bedrockgames]

With the advise given in this thread which now goes counter to what the cops told me, I wonder how many who had their parents treat them so actually had a form of abuse on them, but as we love our parents and try to frame them in the best light, try to ignore or excuse it rather than seeing it as abuse.

This is kind of insulting. I don't know about the others, but I can definitely say for certain I wasn't abused. The issue was we were going by a person reporting something in a forum. All we had to go on was what you wrote (which is not going to capture a lot of the minor details that help us figure out if this was a serious issue or not). Honestly this is the last time I give any kind of advice like this if it is just going to be turned on me in the end because I can't see the future.

 

[Umbran]

My part comes in at which the police wanted to ask me some questions about what happened. They were surprised that NONE of the adults had reported anything. I don't think they are going to charge me, but they did inform me that in these situations when there are minors and we suspect something like this we are supposed to report things like this, and if we do not, in some cases we can be seen as accessories or other such things.

No, you won't (and cannot) be charged. If anyone who witnessed a parent yelling at a child were required to report it - there would be thousands upon thousands of such reports a day, and the justice system could in now way handle that volume.

There are some people who are "mandatory reporters" - random dude on the street is not one of them. That status is reserved for teachers, doctors, and others who have regular contact with children in their professional life.

 

[Sacrosanct]

I call BS. The likelihood that reality so perfectly vindicates the OP up to and including the bogus cops saying you could be charged with accessory by not reporting suspicion is outside possibility.

Yeah, I call BS too. As I mentioned upthread, I am pretty heavily involved in child advocacy and anti-abuse programs, and my mom has 30 years experience working in the juvenile dept of the county courthouse where she saw this stuff every day.

For one, nothing in the original complaint of the OP hinted at any evidence of physical abuse that the younger child was a solid bruise, so there was nothing to report on that front. Secondly, police don’t charge you, or threaten to charge you if you don’t call them every time a parent yells at a kid and you see it. That’s just factually wrong. Just like taking a kids property they bought is NOT abuse by the federal definition, or any state definition of what constitutes abuse that I’m aware of.

Thirdly, I’m actually quite peeved that the OP would dare infer that anyone disagreeing with them was abused themselves and just suffers from some variation of Stolkholm syndrome. And as someone who IS a huge child advocate, I’m also upset it seems like they would lie about such an important topic that is a very real issue for families out there.

 

[billd91]

No, you won't (and cannot) be charged. If anyone who witnessed a parent yelling at a child were required to report it - there would be thousands upon thousands of such reports a day, and the justice system could in now way handle that volume.

There are some people who are "mandatory reporters" - random dude on the street is not one of them. That status is reserved for teachers, doctors, and others who have regular contact with children in their professional life.

Note: That won't stop a cop from telling you what GreyLord reported. They will imply that you are a potential accessory (or outright say it) so they can wrongfoot you and get a statement that will potentially incriminate you or someone else. This is why lawyers are necessary when having anything more than extremely innocuous conversations with the police.

 

[Sacrosanct]

This is kind of insulting. I don't know about the others, but I can definitely say for certain I wasn't abused. The issue was we were going by a person reporting something in a forum. All we had to go on was what you wrote (which is not going to capture a lot of the minor details that help us figure out if this was a serious issue or not). Honestly this is the last time I give any kind of advice like this if it is just going to be turned on me in the end because I can't see the future.

Well, I WAS abused as a kid a lot by my father. But the idea that I’m defending abuse because of that is insulting. The reality is that it’s the opposite. It’s because I was abused that I took my life in a direction to recognize the signs and become an advocate for children who don’t have voices. And why I made sure the cycles of generations of abuse ended with me, and my own kids have grown up in a loving, supportive family and have never been beaten or degraded like I was. The implication that I defend abuse because I was abused myself is extremely insulting. And ignorant.

 

[Umbran]

Mod Note:

Folks, back at the start of this thread, I said the following:

"And, how about we start with the statement that anyone who involves themselves in this thread should recognize that the topic is serious, and folks may have some very strident opinions on it, and everyone should carry themselves with some tact and understanding. "

That still holds. Do try to avoid blanket statements that may insult folks. Also note - if you step in here, you are asking to be involved in a thread with very strong feelings. It is probably not realistic for some of them to not strike close to home. If you feel insulted, please be very thoughtful as to how you handle that.

 

[lowkey13]

*Deleted by user*

 

[GreyLord]

I'm not one who exactly knows the laws in this specific area (I do know some law, but this is FAR from what I have been involved in), all I can relate is what I was told.

The abuse WAS real (or is I suppose, though I imagine the kids are in custody now [edit: stated this wrong, not custody, but taken by services that protect children and placed them somewhere safer]).

It is kind of surprising how people go into denial in regards to this type of stuff, even when it is right in front of them.

I find it also interesting the type of reaction to the update given.

I am currently considered a mandatory reporter apparently, and yes, apparently we CAN be charged with a crime if we do not report suspicion on such things. It can be a felony in our case.

As I said, I have not been charged yet (and I hope I will not be). It may just be the laws in my , but it is a crime not to report as I have found out. Any volunteer that provides organized activities for children at certain organizations or camps are considered mandatory reporters in my area.

I have not had contact with the two kids since that session, my update was based on the information from the player that reported the incident to their parents (and subsequently the police) and my own interview.

In retrospect I suppose I should have had a lawyer with me, but I didn't even think about doing that. They wanted to talk and I talked with them, it didn't even occur to me to bring a lawyer with me.

PS: After the interview with the police I did a little research to find out for myself if I really could be in trouble. I DID find this as well which does NOT make me feel any better of my actions nor my situation, though I feel that (or hope strongly) I won't have any legal action against me.

I did do some research into the matter, and I found out there are laws as such that I wasn't as aware of.

For example

Citation: Ann. Stat. § 39.201

Any person who knows or has reasonable cause to suspect that a child is abused, abandoned, or neglected by a parent, legal custodian, caregiver, or other person responsible for the child's welfare or that a child is in need of supervision and care and has no parent, legal custodian, or responsible adult relative immediately known and available to provide supervision and care shall report such knowledge or suspicion to the department.
Any person who knows or who has reasonable cause to suspect that a child is abused by an adult other than a parent, legal custodian, caregiver, or other person responsible for the child's welfare shall report such knowledge or suspicion to the department.
Any person who knows or has reasonable cause to suspect that a child is the victim of childhood sexual abuse or the victim of a known or suspected juvenile sexual offender shall report such knowledge or suspicion to the department.

Though to be honest, I'm not sure if what we saw there would be enforceable as a reasonable cause of suspicion or not (though I WAS suspicious which is one reason I brought it up here). However, I'm not sure what will happen next. I tried to do what was right, but that's not always a good defense.

For those who find themselves in the US, if you have questions on the local laws you can find many of them listed here.

Find the laws pertaining to child welfare in the US

 

[billd91]

I am currently considered a mandatory reporter apparently, and yes, apparently we CAN be charged with a crime if we do not report suspicion on such things. It can be a felony in our case.

As I said, I have not been charged yet (and I hope I will not be). It may just be the laws in my , but it is a crime not to report as I have found out. Any volunteer that provides organized activities for children at certain organizations or camps are considered mandatory reporters in my area.

I have not had contact with the two kids since that session, my update was based on the information from the player that reported the incident to their parents (and subsequently the police) and my own interview.

In retrospect I suppose I should have had a lawyer with me, but I didn't even think about doing that. They wanted to talk and I talked with them, it didn't even occur to me to bring a lawyer with me.

I'd definitely ask someone a bit more experienced with the local laws about the mandatory reporter thing. Don't expect to the cops to necessarily be right in what they tell you. They might be misinformed, their training out of date, or they might actually be attempting to pressure you, as I said up above, into saying something incriminating.