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childish notions

I had two noteworthy ones.

1) I couldn't accept that pretty people (especially women) could be bad. I have no idea where that came from, but it was definitely a misconception I had as a kid.

2) My father fostered this other one in me. When I was about 7 or 8, we were driving on the tollway (we lived in Illinois at the time), and they had "rumble strips" in the pavement before each toll plaza.

"Dad, why do they put those things in the road?"
"So that blind drivers know that they have to stop and pay the toll."
"Oh, OK."

It took years for it to dawn on me that they didn't have rumble strips before, say, stoplights...and how would the blind drivers know when to turn???
 

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I used to watch the ground as I walked, imagining my footsteps were what made the world rotate. It never occurred to me that when I changed direction, the sun still went down in the same place.
 

When I was, like, 3-5, I read the price of something in a bakery and noticed that 5 of some item cost less than (the price of one such item *5). Puzzled me quite a bit, but fortunately someone soon explained it.
 

I don't think I ever had one of those misconceptions. I always really skeptical as child though, whenever someone said something I didn't believe, I'd say "Really?". Everyone always explained it for me after that :) .
 

Just in the last week, my daughter has decided that angels and bats are the same thing. It came about when I was singing "Just call me angel in the morning" and had to explain the song. She decided that they were leaving each other in the morning to go home and go to bed. Because they go to bed in the morning, they must be bats. Because the song is about angels, angels must be bats.
 

All I remember thinking was that women could only be pregnant once, so I was confused when I would watch movies where there would be 2 children at different ages. What's even weirder is that I have an older brother and I still thought this.

I remember not believing everything my parents said, but I remember I believed everything my older brother would say, no question. He had me thinking I came from a chicken egg that he'd won a footrace for.

Me: This bottle of wine says 2-9-9. Does that means it's $299?
Him: Yup.
Me: Wow!

He doesn't do that anymore, but I'm so damn skeptical I think he's lying when he's actually telling the truth.

Him: Some guy stole a tank and is going on a rampage. (This was a few years ago.)
Me: LIAR!
Him: ... It's true. Look at the news.

He told me he used to think that people would never stop growing. Then he realized there was a lack of giant people around, so that couldn't be true.
 

der_kluge said:
The only funny thing like this I can think of as a child was one day we were riding home in the car, and my Dad had bought some sort of funnel. I fished it out of the bag and was blowing on it like a trumpet. Afterwards, I said that I'd given it a blow job. I'm surprised my Dad didn't wreck the car! Don't know where I learned that word, but apparently had heard it somewhere.

I hope it bought you dinner first.

When I was potty training, my father apparently told me that when you flush the toilet, "it" went to San Bruno (a city south of San Francisco, and we lived in the Bay Area). It was sort of a little game; I'd yell "flush it to San Bruno!" everytime I was done and my father would flush the toilet. I guess it stuck in my head, because for many years thereafter, I was convinced that all toilet mains and sewers emptied somewhere in San Bruno. To this day, I still avoid the place.
 

WayneLigon said:
I remember one weird notion about milk. In first grade, it was a terrible, terrible thing to open both ends of a milk carton. If you did it would 'let all the air out' and the milk would be ruined.
Never mind air, wouldn't that let all the milk out?


glass.
 



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