John Cooper
Explorer
CITY SUPPLEMENT I: DWEREDELL
By Justin Alexander
Dream Machine Productions product number CS 0001
14-page PDF (including covers), $2.00
City Supplement 1: Dweredell is the first in a new line of PDF products, each apparently detailing a different fantasy city. This first product deals with a once-proud merchant city, Dweredell, whose best days have long since passed.
The front cover artwork consists of a narrow sliver of color showing the ruins of "Junotempel in Agrient" (apparently a Roman structure), by Caspar David Friedrich. It's okay, but I really, really dislike the decision to make a good 70% or so of the front cover solid black - this is a guarantee to eat up an ink cartridge like nobody's business. (Worse yet, the back cover is probably closer to 90% solid black.) Sure, it looks nice, but I'm certain there are many who will quite rightly balk at the cost (in toner cartridges) of printing this PDF out, and why do that to them? Not everybody likes reading their PDFs on a computer screen only, and there are many advantages to having a printed-out copy at hand.
The first thing I noticed when reading through Dweredell is that there is no introduction of any sort - no "this is what this line of PDFs intends to do," no "here's how to use this product," just straight into a read-aloud text on what the PCs see as they approach the city, and then we're off.
The second thing I noticed about this product is that despite having a 2006 copyright date, it's using the 3.0 rules instead of the 3.5 rules. This is nowhere pointed out anywhere in the product itself (in fact, it doesn't even mention that it uses d20 rules at all, although it obviously does, and Section 15 of its required Legal Information states the SRD as a source), but the stats don't include touch or flat-footed AC values, Base Attack Bonuses, or grapple modifiers, and the skills include such now-defunct ones as Read Lips, Innuendo, and Pick Pocket (and also some made-up ones like "Knowledge (dwarf)" and "Knowledge (law)" that never existed in the 3.0 rules, let alone the current set). It's been how many years now since 3.5 came out, Justin? You might want to get with the times here (or at least advertise that you're using a defunct rules set).
Dweredell also fails to provide some very basic information about its NPCs. I'm sure everything makes perfect sense in Justin's head, but unless he passes all of that information on to the reader, it's of no use to us. For example, the city of Dweredell was built specifically to take advantage of a nearby dwarven kingdom's trade goods, and dwarven influence is seen throughout the city. However, when Justin starts detailing the city's leader, the Syr (or "the syr," as Justin apparently hasn't decided whether the honorific is supposed to be capitalized or not, as he uses it both ways interchangeably throughout the PDF), he fails to mention whether or not he's a human or a dwarf. I read through the whole PDF and despite originally thinking this was a dwarven city (and thus that Syr Arion was a dwarf), I now believe that all of the NPCs depicted in the PDF are in fact human, although again this is never spelled out one way or another. That's a concrete bit of information that the readers really shouldn't have to guess at.
On the plus side, the map of the city of Dweredell on page 10 is pretty well done (I assume it's Justin's work as well, as no cartographer is credited and apparently Justin Alexander the writer and Justin Bacon the artist are the same individual, at least according to the accompanying bio on page 11), with my only real complaints being that some of the numbered areas aren't particularly keyed to a specific building. Sure, it's easy enough to see that Area 7, the Guard House, must be that large building underneath the "7," but Area 6 is The Red Hand, a tavern/inn, and it could be any of the numerous buildings in the vicinity of the big "6" - there's really no way of knowing. I do like the way you can see how the city expanded throughout the years - first there's the "old city," a symmetrical, 8-sided walled enclosure with a wide road bisecting it from east to west, and as Dweredell expanded the later "outer wall" kind of sprawls a bit as it encompasses the expanded city. And, of course, there are now sections of the outer wall that lie in ruins, the result of an orc attack many years ago.
Dweredell makes for an interesting city to add to a fantasy campaign, and it's got many things going for it: I like the fact that the outer city has pretty much been abandoned to the various gangs of thugs that vie for control, and that even within the inner city there are numerous factions vying for power. The map and the city descriptions are by far the best part of Dweredell; sadly, much of the rest has to be scrapped or significantly overhauled for it to be of much use.
Here is my "unofficial errata" for City Supplement 1: Dweredell, with the proviso that after I saw that 3.0 rules were being used, I pretty much scrapped the idea of trying to make any sense of the skill point allocations, as so many of them were spent on skills that no longer (or never did) exist. So, if you intend to use these stats, you'll have to rework the skills on your own, as I don't have the inclination to do so myself. In any case, I recommend making the following changes:
There's no proofreader or editor listed on the credits page, and it shows. The PDF is riddled with capitalization errors, misused punctuation, a spacing issue, and Justin chooses not to follow the standard formula of italicizing the names of magic items and spell names. There are also page references that are wrong (in one instance, he refers the reader to information on page 18, which is odd in a 14-page PDF; he means "page 8"), and a few places where he uses the word that means the exact opposite of what he means (apparently Celadon has served "three future syrs" in the past, and he has farmers fleeing east from a menace to the east of them. Finally, "eerie" is not spelled with a "y" in it.
I know I come across as being incredibly picky at times, but I'm of the firm belief that if you're going to produce work that you expect people to actually pay money for, a minimum level of professionalism is required. In my mind, Justin fails to reach that minimum level with City Supplement 1: Dweredell, and, as such, I'm giving his PDF a final rating of "2 (Poor)." If you're interested in a well-draw map of a partially ruined city and a decent historical background to go with it, and if that's worth $2.00 to you, then I can recommend this PDF to you. Otherwise, I think I'd steer clear of it and see if Justin can improve his game in future releases.
By Justin Alexander
Dream Machine Productions product number CS 0001
14-page PDF (including covers), $2.00
City Supplement 1: Dweredell is the first in a new line of PDF products, each apparently detailing a different fantasy city. This first product deals with a once-proud merchant city, Dweredell, whose best days have long since passed.
The front cover artwork consists of a narrow sliver of color showing the ruins of "Junotempel in Agrient" (apparently a Roman structure), by Caspar David Friedrich. It's okay, but I really, really dislike the decision to make a good 70% or so of the front cover solid black - this is a guarantee to eat up an ink cartridge like nobody's business. (Worse yet, the back cover is probably closer to 90% solid black.) Sure, it looks nice, but I'm certain there are many who will quite rightly balk at the cost (in toner cartridges) of printing this PDF out, and why do that to them? Not everybody likes reading their PDFs on a computer screen only, and there are many advantages to having a printed-out copy at hand.
The first thing I noticed when reading through Dweredell is that there is no introduction of any sort - no "this is what this line of PDFs intends to do," no "here's how to use this product," just straight into a read-aloud text on what the PCs see as they approach the city, and then we're off.
The second thing I noticed about this product is that despite having a 2006 copyright date, it's using the 3.0 rules instead of the 3.5 rules. This is nowhere pointed out anywhere in the product itself (in fact, it doesn't even mention that it uses d20 rules at all, although it obviously does, and Section 15 of its required Legal Information states the SRD as a source), but the stats don't include touch or flat-footed AC values, Base Attack Bonuses, or grapple modifiers, and the skills include such now-defunct ones as Read Lips, Innuendo, and Pick Pocket (and also some made-up ones like "Knowledge (dwarf)" and "Knowledge (law)" that never existed in the 3.0 rules, let alone the current set). It's been how many years now since 3.5 came out, Justin? You might want to get with the times here (or at least advertise that you're using a defunct rules set).
Dweredell also fails to provide some very basic information about its NPCs. I'm sure everything makes perfect sense in Justin's head, but unless he passes all of that information on to the reader, it's of no use to us. For example, the city of Dweredell was built specifically to take advantage of a nearby dwarven kingdom's trade goods, and dwarven influence is seen throughout the city. However, when Justin starts detailing the city's leader, the Syr (or "the syr," as Justin apparently hasn't decided whether the honorific is supposed to be capitalized or not, as he uses it both ways interchangeably throughout the PDF), he fails to mention whether or not he's a human or a dwarf. I read through the whole PDF and despite originally thinking this was a dwarven city (and thus that Syr Arion was a dwarf), I now believe that all of the NPCs depicted in the PDF are in fact human, although again this is never spelled out one way or another. That's a concrete bit of information that the readers really shouldn't have to guess at.
On the plus side, the map of the city of Dweredell on page 10 is pretty well done (I assume it's Justin's work as well, as no cartographer is credited and apparently Justin Alexander the writer and Justin Bacon the artist are the same individual, at least according to the accompanying bio on page 11), with my only real complaints being that some of the numbered areas aren't particularly keyed to a specific building. Sure, it's easy enough to see that Area 7, the Guard House, must be that large building underneath the "7," but Area 6 is The Red Hand, a tavern/inn, and it could be any of the numerous buildings in the vicinity of the big "6" - there's really no way of knowing. I do like the way you can see how the city expanded throughout the years - first there's the "old city," a symmetrical, 8-sided walled enclosure with a wide road bisecting it from east to west, and as Dweredell expanded the later "outer wall" kind of sprawls a bit as it encompasses the expanded city. And, of course, there are now sections of the outer wall that lie in ruins, the result of an orc attack many years ago.
Dweredell makes for an interesting city to add to a fantasy campaign, and it's got many things going for it: I like the fact that the outer city has pretty much been abandoned to the various gangs of thugs that vie for control, and that even within the inner city there are numerous factions vying for power. The map and the city descriptions are by far the best part of Dweredell; sadly, much of the rest has to be scrapped or significantly overhauled for it to be of much use.
Here is my "unofficial errata" for City Supplement 1: Dweredell, with the proviso that after I saw that 3.0 rules were being used, I pretty much scrapped the idea of trying to make any sense of the skill point allocations, as so many of them were spent on skills that no longer (or never did) exist. So, if you intend to use these stats, you'll have to rework the skills on your own, as I don't have the inclination to do so myself. In any case, I recommend making the following changes:
- p. 2, Syr Arion Erradon, aristocrat 3/fighter 4: Looking at his combat stats, it's apparent that his Weapon Focus (longsword) feat is supposed to be Weapon Focus (rapier). Assuming he's a human - which I'm pretty sure he is - he should have 7 feats, not 6. His skills should include Disguise +2 (+4 acting) [0 ranks, +2 Cha, +2 synergy from Bluff] and Intimidate +4 [0 ranks, +2 Cha, +2 synergy bonus from Bluff]. Missing info: touch AC 11, flat-footed AC 10, BAB +6, Grapple +7. Oh, and there's no such thing as "Knowledge (dwarf)."
- p. 2, Prince's Guard, fighter 2: Longsword attacks should be at +5 melee, not +6 (+2 BAB, +3 Str), and longsword damage should be 1d8+3, not 1d8+4 (+3 Str). Will should be +0, not +1 (+0 as a Ftr2, +0 Wis). As a human (assumed) 2nd-level fighter, he should have 4 feats, not 6 (1 as a 2nd-level character, 2 bonus feats as a 2nd-level fighter, and 1 bonus feat as a human). Missing info: touch AC 12, flat-footed AC 14, Base Attack Bonus +2, Grapple +5.
- p. 3, Celadon, Captain of the Prince's Guard, fighter 8: Fort should be +8, not +6 (+6 as a Ftr8, +2 Con). Should have 9 feats, not 10 (3 as an 8th-level character, 5 bonus fighter feats, 1 bonus human feat). Missing info: touch AC 12, flat-footed AC 17, Base Attack Bonus +8, Grapple +11.
- p. 3, City Guardsman (standard patrol), warrior 1: HD should be 1d8+5, not 1d8+1 (+2 Con, +3 Toughness). Initiative should be +0, not +1 (+0 Dex). Will should be -1, not +2 (+0 as a War1, -1 Wis). Missing info: touch AC 10, flat-footed AC 12, Base Attack Bonus +1, Grapple +4.
- p. 4, Daegan, Captain of the City Guard, warrior 8: CR should be 4, not 8. Will should be +1, not +3 (+2 as a War8, -1 Wis). Should have 4 feats, not 3 (apparently the human bonus feat was overlooked). Missing info: touch AC 10, flat-footed AC 15, Base Attack Bonus +8, Grapple +11. Oh, and there's no such thing as "Knowledge (law)."
- p. 5, Lothmar, Guild Master, rogue 8: Initiative should be +3, not +4 (+3 Dex). AC should be 18, not 19 (+3 Dex, +5 +1 mithril shirt).Masterwork rapier attacks should be at +10/+5 melee, not +8/+3 (+6 BAB, +3 Dex with Weapon Finesse, +1 masterwork). Adamantine dagger attacks should be at +9/+4 melee, not +11/+6 (+6 BAB, +3 Dex with Weapon Finesse). Ref should be +9, not +10 (+6 as a Rog8, +3 Dex). Missing info: touch AC 13, flat-footed AC 15, Base Attack Bonus +6, Grapple +7. Oh, and there are no longer any skills called Pick Pocket (it's now Sleight of Hand) or Read Lips, the "Expertise" feat is now called "Combat Expertise," Weapon Finesse no longer applies to just a single weapon, and if this is a human he needs to select a 4th feat (his human bonus feat).
There's no proofreader or editor listed on the credits page, and it shows. The PDF is riddled with capitalization errors, misused punctuation, a spacing issue, and Justin chooses not to follow the standard formula of italicizing the names of magic items and spell names. There are also page references that are wrong (in one instance, he refers the reader to information on page 18, which is odd in a 14-page PDF; he means "page 8"), and a few places where he uses the word that means the exact opposite of what he means (apparently Celadon has served "three future syrs" in the past, and he has farmers fleeing east from a menace to the east of them. Finally, "eerie" is not spelled with a "y" in it.
I know I come across as being incredibly picky at times, but I'm of the firm belief that if you're going to produce work that you expect people to actually pay money for, a minimum level of professionalism is required. In my mind, Justin fails to reach that minimum level with City Supplement 1: Dweredell, and, as such, I'm giving his PDF a final rating of "2 (Poor)." If you're interested in a well-draw map of a partially ruined city and a decent historical background to go with it, and if that's worth $2.00 to you, then I can recommend this PDF to you. Otherwise, I think I'd steer clear of it and see if Justin can improve his game in future releases.
