New Charlatan
In an unusual display of co-operation, Priests of Vecna and Kord have teamed up to delve into the mysteries of the universe. Speaking via crystal ball from the High Energy Thaumaturgical Accelerator on the para-elemental plane of [classified]; Stormaagator, High Priest of Vecna said, "We're really delving into the very fabric of space and time here. The data were are getting from colliding positive and negative energy based maximised divination spells is very informative."
High Priest Stormaagator then went on to describe a new theory they have been working on over there. The theory states that sometime in the past year, all of the gods in known creation came to the consensus to upgrade the multi-verse to a new level of awareness. HP Stormagaator went further to say "We've named this new state of awareness DirectDnD version 3. This theory predicts, among other things, masterswordspersons have attack viscosity lowered by 40%. We've clocked a Paladin of Kord making 5 swings every 6 seconds."
High Priest Stormagaatr then went on a rather lengthy tirade about how Paladins of Kord didn't even exist 2 years ago. He even has his pet theory on why this phenomenon of prolific paladins will be short lived. "You know, I'm sure that Paladin is just a virtual class, I mean, we are already starting to see some paladins break down and meta-stabilize into fighter/clerics."
However, Bunky Billingsgate, Gnomish Priest of Kord and also an accomplished experimental psionisist is more optimistic about the changes. "In the last couple of years, clerics have beefier spells. But let's talk about me some more. I worship the god of strength. His domain is.. Strength. My psionic power comes from.. Strength. I'm bloody HUGE. Beefcake ! Beeefcake!". Bunky then imploded when his Ego hit critical mass.
This reporter was told that Bunky would not be available for further comment until tomorrow afternoon, when someone would be sober enough to cast True Resurrection.
Multi-class specialist, Sebgale DeNorric, admitted they were confounded by the increase in the number of multi-class characters. "Oh, back in the old days we could only detect four classes, Cleric, Fighter, Mage and Thief. Even 15 to 20 years ago, our devices were so crude that Elves and Dwarves detected at classes. I mean, what were the gods thinking ? Ten years ago we could detect stable muti-class variants, like Fighter/Mage/Cleric and Cleric/Mage/Thief. We can now isolate these sub-thaumaturgic classes into six kinds, which we call, Strength, Dex, Con, Int, Wis and Cha or also known as the Dump-Stat. This has given us the ability to refine our detectors to such a degree that we are now able to see PC with 6 separate classes."
Sebgale went on to describe some newly discovered "Prestige" classes. But this reporter did not have the security clearance to read those tomes.
Sebgale went further to say: "We have been trying to probe the purpose of some of these prestige classes, but our divinations have been blocked by the Sultans of Smack. We believe that this is the work of a militant group of Efreet with the goal of sabotaging our research as the leader claims to be an Air Gensai with 9 different prestige classes."
Sebgale became evasive (but not the improved version) when pressed further about this mysterious leader of the Sultans of Smack. The last thing this reporter heard Sebgale to say was something about a 6th level Bard doing over 900 points of damage in a round.
It seems there are still some mysteries yet to solve.
