It depends on what we are arguing about. As far as my comments are concerned, I was arguing about meta considerations of the style of game being played. In those kinds of cases, rules as such do not matter much. On the other hand I agree in the case of actual rule disputes.
Yeah, there's some serious differences in "this is how a situation in-game is resolved mechanically" and "this is how players should play." I'm not seeing why the latter should be enforced by much of anything here; if you can't work it out with and amidst your players, one or more of you don't belong in the same game, and no set of sticks and carrots is going to really change that.