I DO think DM skill is important
I'd call this a backhanded compliment, except there is no complement. Or I feel like the guy who didn't like Blair Witch Project and told that I just didn't get it. I guess I never 'grokked' 3E well enough to avoid this pitfall then, despite being a skilled DM in OD&D and AD&D. And now I am a skilled DM in 4E. All of this is player feedback. I guess I never figured out how to make all the BMX Bandits in my group feel like they were useless next to Angel Summoner.
but much more importantly, I strongly think PLAYER commitment to the same type of play style is quite important.
Here I can agree with you. If the skilled character makers are willing to tone down their skills. If the less-skilled character builders are willing to let the other guys make their characters for them. For my group neither solution was fun for them. And since our first priority is being friends that hang out together and play a game, the system needs to accomodate the skill/power gap better, for us. I've already admitted that their may be a better word than 'systemic' for these issues, but labelling it a mere personal issue seems insuffiecient, IMO.
You are pushing this to the point that I practically have to declare the game immaculate to refute you. No game is perfect. It CAN happen in 3E.
I don't require the game to be perfect and never inferred that. The system breaks down at certain parameters, IME. And there have been many discussions regarding these breakdowns long before 4E was ever announced. E6 addresses on group's following on how to patch this issue with the system.
But, feeling VERY board-gamey CAN happen in 4E and unless certain parmaters are met it will. Therefore, by your standards, we have just proven that 4E is systemically very board-gamey.
Replace "4E" with "Any edition of D&D" and I agree. But this is an accepted systemic issue accepted by those who fall outside the parameters because there is no version of D&D that CAN'T feel boardgamey.
My group finds that meeting the parameters happens without even really making an effort. So I don't consider that an unreasonable expectation.
I'm sorry we don't all live up to your reasonable expectations.
I made a great effort to provide a challenging game for my players. I tweaked encounters, I changed tatctics, I studied the books to a point where it was verging upon intrusion to the more important aspects of my life. I still ended up with encounters that alllowed the power gamer a one-man team or would prove too challenging for the non-power gamers. The effort became unreasonable within our groups parameters. Could I have "solved" the problem your way by toning down the power gamer? If by solve you mean strip an enjoyable aspect of the game away from a player, then sure.
In 4E the same power gamer has his fun and the other players do too. I don't have as wide of a power gap to cover and find the effort to do so reasonable once again.
Again, my premise is that you have players on the same skill level, although in your case it seems by choice. Good for you.