roguerouge
First Post
I need some crass, rude, ignorant or in-poor-taste jokes and puns for some NPCs to tell the PCs. What've you used? Keep in mind the content limits of the site. And any setting specific jokes are fine...
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Crass in-game jokes
- Thread starter roguerouge
- Start date
Crimson_Fang
First Post
::setup::
An adventuring party walks into a talent agency. It's a soldier, a priestess, a thief, an elf and her wolf. The soldier says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent adventuring parties. They're a little too cute."
The priestess says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
::/setup::
::joke::
Insert most disturbing awful badness you can think of usually involving singing of anthems, bodily fluids, and just about anything that would make your grandmother vomit
::/joke::
:: punchline::
The talent agent then goes "Well what on Earth does the wolf do?"
the man licks his lips and says "Well the wolf comes out wearing a little pink tutu, honks a few horns, and jumps through a hoop."
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's one abyss of an act. What do you call it?"
And the soldier says, "The Aristocrats!"
::/punchline::
An adventuring party walks into a talent agency. It's a soldier, a priestess, a thief, an elf and her wolf. The soldier says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent adventuring parties. They're a little too cute."
The priestess says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
::/setup::
::joke::
Insert most disturbing awful badness you can think of usually involving singing of anthems, bodily fluids, and just about anything that would make your grandmother vomit
::/joke::
:: punchline::
The talent agent then goes "Well what on Earth does the wolf do?"
the man licks his lips and says "Well the wolf comes out wearing a little pink tutu, honks a few horns, and jumps through a hoop."
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's one abyss of an act. What do you call it?"
And the soldier says, "The Aristocrats!"
::/punchline::
"What's the difference between an Elf and a chamber pot? When the chamber pot's full, you can empty it out the window."
"Know how to tell the difference between a boy elf from a girl elf?" "I don't know. How?" "Me neither."
"How many halflings does it take to light a lantern? Two. One to light it, and one to steal the lantern."
"How many dwarves does it take to light a lantern?" "Twelve. One to light, eleven to clap themselves on the back for their dwarven ingenuity for illumination."
"How can you tell a paladin's using his lance? His back isn't as stiff."
"Know how to tell the difference between a boy elf from a girl elf?" "I don't know. How?" "Me neither."
"How many halflings does it take to light a lantern? Two. One to light it, and one to steal the lantern."
"How many dwarves does it take to light a lantern?" "Twelve. One to light, eleven to clap themselves on the back for their dwarven ingenuity for illumination."
"How can you tell a paladin's using his lance? His back isn't as stiff."
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