How to Delay or Avoid GM Burnout

[bloodtide]

For this game, you might just want to end it.

And for your next game, you want to find good players.

RPGs have this wacky idea that you should play the game with your "friends". And people count their "friends" as people they know the name of. And this works great for board games. And this works great for Casual RPGs. You can "hang out" with your friends for several hours....maybe even play a bit of 'the game' for many a whole hour, and just have fun and relax. For a lot of people, this is a great time.

Your not one of them......

You want more from the game....making it much more a social activity not "just a game". A lot of people will never understand that, and just as many people won't care. And plenty of them will hate you as your not a Casual Gaming Goofball like them.

You have to let all these people go. Yes, even your best of best of best friends. You can still be friends, of course, just never ever game with them: You want to look for your type of people.

You need to find a new group....or even make a new group....and often need to make new players of the game. It does take time and effort, but you CAN find players that like the game just as much as you. Players that fit in with everything you do and more.

And then you can have some truly amazing games....so great they go beyond the description of "just being a game". It is worth it.

 

[R_J_K75]

Would it be "bad" if I just told my players that I'm going to run something pre-published and they can keep their characters? I can free my mind from trying to design stuff. I'm just putting way too much of myself into something that the players view as a fun thing they do once a week, mostly to hang out with their friends.

Of you're not enjoying creating stuff the players don't want to interact with then no, it's not bad to run something pre-published.

I feel the exact same way as you. My players don't really engage much with the world, so I don't put a lot into the details anymore. In fact, I TPK'd them Sunday night and we're going to continue the campaign a 100some years in the future with them dealing with the results of their last characters failure. So, I set a clear, concise end goal for the PCs right from the start, and I'm creating an outline with the intention of telling the players when they level up what the objective of the level is to get closer to achieving their end goal. My players don't offer up much input and just show up on game day. So, I'm getting too old to waste my time writing campaigns and adventures if they aren't going to play ball. They're pretty good though about going along and don't worry much about player agency.

 

[payn]

I’ll reiterate that it doesn’t matter at this point if you choose another system or choose published over homebrew adventures, there is no fox to this until you get on the same page. Maybe they are not listening to you, maybe you are nit listening to them, but this is a communication breakdown.

 

[Reynard]

I know this isn't helpful for this thread, but have you tried Shadowdark with your group. Every time you describe The Issues, I think "They need Shadowdark!" It's simple without being simplistic. It is familiar to 5E players. It is super easily modded.

 

[zakael19]

This is the group that has the lot of you locked into some sort of weird captive DM and player situation Right? And nothing works for all of them, and you’re always miserable in short order? And they all seem to want something different from play?

 

[zakael19]

Players almost never care about the game as much as the DM. That’s just the cold hard truth.

Even when you ask them what they want and then custom tailor to their suggestions….they still find ways to make you feel like you’ve wasted your time.

I think this is why no one wants to DM. It’s work. When no one appreciates it; we start to resent the players. I joke when I say players ruin everything….but is it a joke?

This is just simply not true. I'm running four different games right now where every session all the players show up excited, ready to give it their all, deeply invested in the world and their characters, and so interested to see where it goes.

I achieved this by advertising specific narrative games with set playbooks & mildly defined but also highly joint-world building creativity; stating that expectation up front; and a clear pitch of what the players should anticipate the premise and themes of play being.

Heck, in my Monday game one of the players flat out does more work on logistics and the world then I do; two are more invested in the mysteries of the setting then I am; and one aggressively sets and pursues both goals and relationships that drive so much stellar play.

 

[payn]

This is just simply not true. I'm running four different games right now where every session all the players show up excited, ready to give it their all, deeply invested in the world and their characters, and so interested to see where it goes.

I achieved this by advertising specific narrative games with set playbooks & mildly defined but also highly joint-world building creativity; stating that expectation up front; and a clear pitch of what the players should anticipate the premise and themes of play being.

Heck, in my Monday game one of the players flat out does more work on logistics and the world then I do; two are more invested in the mysteries of the setting then I am; and one aggressively sets and pursues both goals and relationships that drive so much stellar play.

Cherish every min of it.

 

[Thomas Shey]

Honestly, until you get your players on the same page with you, this will just keep repeating (no pun intended). And that means they need to get on the same page with each other, too. I'd personally tell them that and that if they can't, I'm done, and that's coming from someone who's been a chronic GM for most of his life.

 

[KYRON45]

This is just simply not true. I'm running four different games right now where every session all the players show up excited, ready to give it their all, deeply invested in the world and their characters, and so interested to see where it goes.

I achieved this by advertising specific narrative games with set playbooks & mildly defined but also highly joint-world building creativity; stating that expectation up front; and a clear pitch of what the players should anticipate the premise and themes of play being.

Heck, in my Monday game one of the players flat out does more work on logistics and the world then I do; two are more invested in the mysteries of the setting then I am; and one aggressively sets and pursues both goals and relationships that drive so much stellar play.

Apparently it is true for some of us and we would thank you for not minimizing our experiences.

Its fantastic that you have the greatest gaming experience ever with each and every group of players you have ever played with. But CLEARLY that is not the case for everyone who has, is and ever will play.
It's obvious with just the few responses so far that it is true to some extent (as are most human experiences) for other people. Not to mention the various corners of the internet where you can go to read gaming horror stories.

Finding the right group is a process. Keeping that group together is a process. It would be great if we could all wake up one day and stumble onto the best gaming experience's ever; but...and I'm no mathelete...it seems statistically unlikely that it will happen for all of us every time. Not to mention that we all have different thresholds for the level of nonsense we will put up with from our players in the same way players have for DMs I'm sure.

Love the game your with, until its not the one you fell in love with anymore.

 

[Retreater]

My group is a difficult situation. First, one of my players is my wife. She loves gaming, and basically won't find another group without me because of social anxiety. Second, another player is my next door neighbor. He's a fine enough guy to play with. Third, the two remaining players are totally fine (even GREAT) players, they just want different things in a session than the other two want.
I'm also living in a small town where I've struggled to find anyone to play with. I know that seems difficult to imagine now that D&D is at peak popularity, but try to imagine: no responses on social media "looking for games" groups for over a year; empty tables at D&D events at FLGS.
Until this group got together, I thought I would never play RPGs in person again.