I finally have ones I'm happy with.
For reference about what I was specifically looking for, for higher nobility you have this:
Second person (direct address): (My) Lord/Lady
Third person (titles): Lord/Lady
My minor nobility is officially nobility, but are not entitled to be referred to or addressed as lord/lady. So instead, this is what I came up with:
Second person (direct address): Gentris/Gentress
Third person: Gentleman/Gentlewoman
I'm really happy with the feminine gentress. It hits all the notes I'm going for, in that it doesn't have any incorrect connotations to it, and it sounds like something that could have been real (even though I made it up). I'm happy with the masculine gentris now, but I wasn't as delighted with it. I created it as a sort of back-formation from the feminine.
Gentris/Gentress would also be used as a general second person from of address, "Greetings Gentress," for an assumed noble whose rank you do not know, since it would be inappropriate to refer to someone as lord/lady not entitled to such.
Even though, with these terms, you could refer to them as the gentry, I'm completely omitting that, because of its idiosyncratic U.K. usage as "not really nobility", whereas the gentlefolk here really are nobility.
The reason I'm so set on a hard line between who can and cannot be called lord/lady is because of my intended D&D usage. D&D tends to be extremely stingy with actual noble titles (baron, count, etc), and loves to just have lords/ladys ruling everything. Effectively, D&D just replaces real world baronies and barons with barony-like domains ruled over by lords. And then counties and duchies--when they exist at all--tend to be at least an order of magnitude bigger than real world ones (not to mention D&D usually completely ignores any form of nested vassalage, and just has everyone under the king, with maybe some generic lords under a count or something). So "lord/lady" is just a bigger deal in D&D and since I play in various D&D settings I wanted to come up with some multiversal standards that will work as a default. Individual lands vary.
