Critique This Plz

[SHYLADY]

I am playing in my first campaign and I am having some trouble with the role-playing. The group is all good friends!! The DM is allowing us to play up to 2 charecters each and since this is my 1st campaign is being very generous(with the other player's consent) to allow me to ck out some of the races and classes. I just cannot seem to get into the roleplaying becase as my name states shy lady. The DM has suggested that if I find something I am comfortable with and can get into playing and realize how much fun it can be I will probably have no problem playing different races/classes in the future. He has given me some of his books to look over and (again with the other player's consent) told me that if I could come up with a viable charecter he would consider it. Since I am Native American I have taken some aspects of the Druid, Ranger and some things I saw in the Rifts: Spirit West book and come up with this. It is not finished but I would really like some input to see if I am just wasting my time or if I should continue making this? Plz keep in mind I am in my first campaign and admit I have no clue what I am doing so don't bash on me toooooo hard! Thank You very much for your comments or suggestions!

WARRIOR PRIEST/PRIESTESS





CHARECTERISTICS: Warrior Priest/ess are highly spiritual beings who believe that we all are spirits who

are given free will. They believe that our true selves are these spirits and our bodies merely a vessel that

is animated by us when we are no longer in the Spirit Realm. Upon dying we return to the Spirit Realm, but may return to a "physical" realm many times as these returnings give us information and experiences that help us to evolve. They believe that not only is this the case with "human" spirits but all spirits including animals. Warrior Priest/ess avoid wearing med. or hvy armor but are proficient with lgt. armor and rely on "body paints" and fetishes to provide them with bonuses.

ALIGNMENT: Warrior Priest/ess lean more toward good or neutral as they know that if they are evil,upon returning to the Spirit Realm, they will have to answer to all they comitted an evil deed against for as long as that one deems necesarry(they will not be allowed to return until the last person has decided they have answered enough for their deeds.)

RELIGION: Warrior Priest/ess being "spiritually aware" realize that there are many paths to God/the Gods, therefore they do not persecute anyone for their religious beliefs and quite often take things from different religions that work for them and incorporate it into a "personal working religion" They do revere nature as Druids do because they believe everything was made by God/the Gods so therefore it is sacred.

RACES: Humans are the most likely but open to any race that has a "tribal" setting or someone of another race that was adopted by a "tribal" race.

HIT DICE: d8

CLASS SKILLS: concentration(con), craft(int), handle animal(cha), heal(wis), knowledge nature(int),

knowledge relgion(int), ride(dex), spellcraft(int), spot(wis), survival(wis), listen(wis), swim(str)



THE WARRIOR PRIEST/ESS

1ST LEVEL: B.A. +0, Fort. +2, Ref +0, Will +2, Special:Spirit Familiar, Personal Fetishes, Totem spirit Spells Per Day: 0-3, 1st-1

2ND LEVEL: B.A. +1, Fort. +3, Ref. +0, Will +3, Specials: Wild Empathy Spells Per Day: 0-4, 1st-2

3RD LEVEL: B.A. +2, Fort. +3, Ref. +1, Will +3 Specials: Woodland Stride Spells Per Day: 0-4, 1st-2, 2nd-1

4TH LEVEL: B.A. +3, Fort. +4, Ref. +1, Will +4 Specials: Track Spells Per Day: 0-5, 1st-3, 2nd-2

5TH LEVEL: B.A. +3, Fort. +4, Ref. +1, Will +4 Specials: Greater Personal Fetishes Spells Per Day: 0-5, 1st-3 2nd-2, 3rd-1

6TH LEVEL: B. A. +4, Fort + 5, Ref. +2, Will +5, Specials: Heightened Senses Spells Per Day: 0-5, 1st-3, 2nd-3, 3rd-2

7TH LEVEL: B. A. +5, Fort. +5, Ref. +2, Will +5, Specials: Heal Animals Spells Per Day: 0-6, 1st-4, 2nd-3, 3rd-2, 4th-1

8TH LEVEL: B.A. +6, Fort +6, Ref +2, Will +6, Specials : Endurance Spells Per Day: 0-6, 1st-4, 2nd-3, 3rd-3, 4th-2

9TH LEVEL: B. A. +6, Fort +6, Ref. +3, Will +6 Specials: Trackless Step Spells Per Day: 0-6, 1st-4, 2nd-4, 3rd-3, 4th-2, 5th-1



SPIRIT FAMILIAR: Different than a wizard/sorcerors familiar, similiar to a druids animal companion. A spirit familiar is an animal spirit that has bonded with the Warrior Priest/ess in the "Spirit Realm". Each time a spirit is in a "physical" place their spirit familiar will be with them although it does not have to take the same form each time since it is the spirit that is it's true self. When obtained, player must specify what type of animal form it has. Upon its death, it cannot return until 1 yr has passed and at that time the player may specify it is of the same animal type as before or select a new type but it MUST be animal form.

PERSONAL FETISHES: At 1st level the Warrior Priest/ess has access to 2 minor fetishes, once picked they cannot be changed. At 10th level they can choose 2 major fetishes. At 20th level, they can choose 1 legendary fetish.

MINOR FETISHES: 1. Armor Fetish: This fetish is made from pieces of turtle shell, armadillo,bear or buffalo hide. It provides the wearer with a +2 AC bonus

2. Climbing Fetish: This fetish is made from the teeth, hide or horns of a mountain goat,squirrel or wildcat. It adds a +3 to climb cks.

3.Damage Fetish: This fetish is made from the root of a tall tree that is wrapped around a rock from a high point of a mountain. The high rock and the deep root link, air to deep earth connection, is a powerful combination. This fetish MUST be placed on a weapon, it can be placed on different weapons but can only be on 1 at a time. this gives a +2 to hit.

4. Ear Fetish: This fetish is made from the ear or ear tips of a rabbit,wolf,deer, or other animal with keen hearing. It helps make the player alert to sounds and grants a +1 to initiative and those trying to surprise attack suffer a -2.

5. Strength Fetish: This fetish is made from the teeth, horns,hooves,hide or pieces of bone from an elk,moose,buffalo or bear. It can be activated 3x/day and

6. Swim Fetish: This fetish is made from the teeth or bones of an aquatic mammel or frog,turtle. It grants a +2 to swim cks.

7. Luck Fetish: This fetish is made from the "trickster" animals...ravens,foxes and coyotes. It grants a +1 to initiative, +1 to dodge, +1 to saves vs. posions. duration is 2 min per level of user

8. Healing Fetish: This fetish is made from the bones of a bear,snake or buffalo. It can be activated 2x/day and heals 2d6 points of damage, it also gives the wearer a constant +1 to saves vs posion

MAJOR FETISHES: 1. Great Armor Fetish: typically a hooded shirt with a headdress or headpiece made from lower version material. it can be worn over lgt armor. If done as a headpiece it is usually menacing looking and made from turtle shell, armadillo hide,skin/hide of a buffalo,dinosaur.etc. grants a +4 to AC bonus.

2.Great Ear Fetish: same as lower version but grants +3 to iniative and those trying to surprise attack suffer -4.

3. Great Healing Fetish: same as above but heals 3d6points of damage and can be activated1x/day per wearer level

4. Great Luck Fetish: same as above but grants +2 to iniative, +2 to dodge and +2 to saves vs. posion. duration is 5 min per level of user





TOTEM SPIRIT: At 1st level the Warrior Priest/ess gains a totem spirit......3x/day they can call upon their totem spirit. It can be asked questions or asked to perform simple tasks. As the bond between the Warrior Priest/ess and teh totem spirit grows at 5th level it can be asked to join in combat. Once the spirit totem is selected it cannot be changed.



SOME SPELLS: SPIRIT PAINT

duratin: 1day/level

there are 2 versions 1 for hunting 1 for war

hunting provides +1 attck,+1 dodge,+1 track

war provides +2 initiative, +2 attck, +2 save vs fear

CONTACT SPIRITS

duration: 1 min/level

with this spell you enter a partially detached,

dream-like state in which you hear the voices

of the spirit realm. The general type of spirit

to be contacted is decided before spell is cast.

you can converse with this spirit and it can

only tell you what it knows.

SPIRIT FENCE

duration: 10min/level

you summon spiritual energy around you

it grants a 20% miss chance for ranged

attacks against you

SHARED SPIRITS

duration: 2min/level

when cast upon yourself it causes an

animal to percieve you as one of their own

 

[Amaroq]

Hello, shy one. I'd suggest that a class you've created belongs in the 'House Rules' forum; perhaps a moderator will move this there for us.

Your initial paragraph talks about the idea of role-playing, and states that you're having a bit of a trouble with it; I'd like to touch on a few points to that. First, the idea is to enjoy yourself by providing a fantastic outlet, a way to experience a make-believe world through a made-up persona. One way to 'bring it to life' for yourself is to come up with a character (and I mean more in the stage 'persona' meaning) that you can identify with and envy a bit but would basically know what s/he would do in any situation. A great starting point is "What is this person passionate about?" What is their 'cause', as it were?

Some people think about it by way of designing or describing a childhood to themselves, and imagining how that person might turn out. "My childhood home was razed by orcs." Hmm, I could a.) hate orcs, and be dedicated to killing them; b.) have sworn never to be powerless to defend the ones I love, or perhaps to defend the helpless, or perhaps just to defend myself; c.) have become exceptionally pacifistic, opposed to violence as a solution.... I'm sure you can come up with other ideas from that, and of course you can pick other childhood events to 'form' a personality from.

Some people start with 'I'm going to play, well, ME, just with some cool powers and abilities and none of these real-world obligations, won't THAT be cool!'; others explore the 'I want to let out the dark rat-b*****d that I never let out in real life' path. So, a problem with 'role-playing' is probably best addressed by considering 'What do I want / who do I want to make-believe to be' rather than wandering down the path of inventing your own class. I'd also caution against the make-a-class path in your first campaign; its notoriously easy to 'overpower' a class, making it stack up a bit too well against its neighbors in the rule books. You could certainly play a Druid or a Cleric class with the angle that you have in mind.

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Onward: those first three paragraphs (Characteristics, Alignment, and Religion) are exactly the sort of thing you want to create a 'role' to play; whether they belong in a class description or in a 'personal religion' description of your character (they could both be made to work with either of the 'core' divine-spellcaster classes), they're a great starting point.

The core of your work looks like a subtle modification of the Druid; surrendering Wild Shape for a slew of other feats: the Fetishes, Heightened Senses, Heal Animals, Endurance. That probably works.

Under Skills, I'm surprised you didn't make 'Listen (WIS)' a class skill, and 'Climb (STR)' also seems to fit the concept (if you think of climbing trees, perhaps climbing walls doesn't fit).

The Fetishes, I think are a bit 'abrupt': 2 at first level feels 'strong', and then not getting any more until 10th level is a long time, where you get two more? I'd spread them out, maybe '1 minor at 1st level; 1 minor at 5th level; 1 major at 10th level; 1 major at 15th level; 1 legendary at 20th level'; and then not giving the character any additional feats or powers at that level - the fetish IS your advance in power, really.

Modifying 'Animal Companion' to 'Spirit Familiar' or 'Totem Spirit' might be akin-to-balanced, but I think dropping both in is a little powerful (since, from level 5 onwards, you now have three fighting creatures instead of two); maybe if you combine both in a way: spirit familiar starts out very vague, answering 1 question at 1st level, on to 2 at 3rd, 3 at 5th, and from 5th on can be summoned to phisically manifest (in increasing power and for longer duration) over the next level progression. (That's actually my favorite part of the class, btw - a great 'plot hook' device for a GM. "No, your totem spirit tells you to go THAT way..."

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You're also missing a few things which are 'class attributes' and play heavily into the 'am I balanced with other classes equation':
Skill Points at first level
Skill points at each additional level (I'd suggest 2+Int modifier for both, akin to a cleric and less than a druid unless you are reducing some of the overall class power, as noted above)
Weapon Proficiency and Armor Proficiency
Spell list (w.g., which spells can I cast)

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You need to stat out the Spirit Familiar a bit more; see the Animal Companion rules under Druid for an example.

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The Fetishes look derivative, presumably from one of the works you mentioned above, so I'm probably wandering off into critiquing somebody's published work when I say this, but they aren't particularly balanced against each other: +2 to Swim checks feels 'right' for a weak secondary power granted to a first-level character, while +2 to hit with a single weapon feels stronger than anything a fighter can get at similar level (e.g., a first level Warrior Priest/ess with this fetish is slightly better than a first level fighter toe-to-toe, or even with a fighter who has devoted a Feat to matching it, which feels 'wrong' given spells, etc.); +2 to AC is similarly strong. Both become quite reasonable if they have a 1 min/level once/day restriction, or some such: you can 'buff' up beyond the fighter for a single fight, but over the long haul, your class ought to be weaker than the fighter at slugging it out in the front lines.

The Major Fetishes start getting extremely strong: a 15th-level Warrior Priest can dish out 45d6 in healing per day via the Great Healing fetish, which is much much stronger than I would allow in my game; compare it to 'lay on hands' for a 15th-level Paladin, which is "Chr modified x level", and so might be something like 45-90 points, not 45-270 points.

I'd wander through them with a fine-toothed comb, comparing them out across the realm of 'all classes' for balance, and err on the side of underpowering rather than overpowering; also stat out how many times they can be used per day, etc.

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The Spells its not possible to critique without a bit more data: spell level and casting time come to mind, and it would also be useful to know what your DM is playing with in terms of accepting other third-party material; for the most part, I'd recommend playing up existing spells with 'colour' rather than creating entirely new spells: there are plenty of divination spells, for example, which are similar in effect to 'Contact Spirits', and could be redirected (instead of speaking with my diety / my dieties' agent, I'm speaking with a spirit); you could certainly 'describe', for example, a Bull's Strength spell with 'I paint two angry red stripes on my face, and the rest of the group sees my muscles bulge beneath my tunic...' to give some of the flavor of 'Spirit Paint' without having to create a new spell. In general, Spells are the most difficult to get 'right' due to the possibilities of combination and permutation, adding one spell with another to get a truly wicked combination.

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Overall, it looks like a reasonable start, and fun to play, though I would still advise towards playing one of the core classes with the motif and personality you want to give this class rather than embarking on the whole class creation thing!

 

[Amaroq]

Oh look, we've been moved.

You may want to run your class through
The Class Construction Guide or DrSpunj's Class Balance Spreadsheet to help work on the balancing aspects of it, to get a feel for it relative to the other classes.

 

[SHYLADY]

tyvm for your input.....the fetishes and spells are from the Rifts book....some of the fethishes gave bonuses to things that apparently are only in Rifts so when it stated for example attack attribute points i put that in attack bonus...as i stated i have no clue what i am doing so i definately want to get it balanced. i am currently playing a Druid, there are so many similarities with Natives that i will state i want to do something that i know a Native can do but yet am told a Druid can't do that. The DM is the one who gave me all the books that i took these things from and told me to see if i could combine some things to see if that would help me. Again thank you so very much for your input, trying to come up with this is actually quite fun but as i stated i want to make sure i DO NOT make it unbalanced!

 

[Shellman]

Don't worry, just have fun!

Shy,

First, make sure you have fun. If your not having fun, then its not worth your time to play.

Second, do you have a basic sense of what kind of pc you want? Do you want someone who uses more magic over physical combat or the opposite. I am not that familiar with the War Priestess, but I have played druids before and I have always had a lot of fun. Druids are very closely tied to nature to harness there magic and they can usually handle themselves in combat if not left in a one on one battle for too long. My opinion is you get a wider selection of spells as a Druid over a Priestess. A druid is restricted from using metal armor and has some weapon restrictions, but there are plenty of options to rectify that. Plus, druids can assist or stand in for a cleric if your party needs it. Basically, I think you get more flexibility asa Druid over a Priestess. If your DM or party members assist you, you could still set up the Druid to be very similar to the Priestess.

If you choose to go with the priestess, make sure you DM approves any adaptations from non-WoTC (D&D sources/ books). You may want to make something from Rifts work, but your DM may not allow it.

All in all, play what your more comfortable with and what you think you will have more fun with. That way you will want to keep coming back for more!

Good luck!

 

[the Jester]

Hey Shylady, welcome to the hobby, I hope you enjoy your stay!

All right, just to jump in with some constructive criticism/advice- one of the best ways to balance your fetishes and stuff is to compare them to feats. In general, when you're talking about flat bonuses, a feat might give:

+4 to a skill check in narrow circumstances (Combat Casting, Improved Initiative)
+3 to a skill check (Skill Focus)
+2 to two skills (Alertness, Self-Sufficient)
+1 to attack or save DC

So when you look at your fetishes, I think the minor ones should be about on par with a feat, 1/day for 1 round or minute per level, depending on the effect.

The greater fetishes at higher level might be best balanced by making them equivalent to a spell of a certain level (maybe the highest level spell the character can cast at that level?) and making them usable from 1/day to 3/day.

These aren't hard and fast rules, I'm just trying to give you some pointers on balancing the class. I'm a hard-nosed balance-nazi dm, so I have an eye for it, and in my experience the best way to balance a class is comparing it to other classes and seeing how it stacks up. It should be better in its specialty than other classes, but worse in other classes' specialties than they are. Also, if it's so cool that everyone wants to take it, it's too good.

Hope this helps!