Cross-gender PCs

[Dannyalcatraz]

Re: the ban rule

A simple question: Why should DMs have all the fun?

After all, unless all of the NPCs in the campaign are the DM's sex, the DM is engaging in precisely the same form of roleplay- admittedly abbreviated by necessity- that the players are barred from trying.

Depending upon your game group's demographics, this rule also may prevent certain PC concepts from even being played.

Example: Many cultures associate a woman's virginity with being a source of mystical power- those women who opt to remain virgins can be quite fearsome spellcasters. Modern writers have also played with this trope in comics like Hellblazer (and other DC "Vertigo" titles) or Lythande of the Thieves' World shared-world story collections.

In contrast, few (if any) cultures hold male virginity in similar regard. At most, they'll connect power to remaining celibate for a period of time to gain power, but doesn't actually bar the male mage from being sexually active.

In an all male group such as my current main group, playing a virgin mystic would be virtually barred by the cross-gender PC ban.

 

[Aus_Snow]

In contrast, few (if any) cultures hold male virginity in similar regard. At most, they'll connect power to remaining celibate for a period of time to gain power, but doesn't actually bar the male mage from being sexually active.

Actually, I seem to have encountered just about as much stuff about celibate men being [especially able to be, or especially powerful] sorcerers, 'monks' or mystics, as women of like persuasion, in the East and West (and elsewhere). Admittedly, I haven't looked into magic, mysticism, religion and the like from a professional or truly academic PoV (not my fields), but well, I've read up on a fair bit, because of a genuine interest in it all. So yeah, I am in fact willing to believe you, but it hasn't been backed up with what I've read, so far.

Bit of a sidetrack, but hey.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Its two different forms of taboo, and the female version is almost invariably more severe.

The difference (usually) is that the men gain power the longer they remain celibate. Should they break that vow, they lose power, but only temporarily- IOW, until they are ritually cleansed and renew their celibate lifestyle. I've yet to encounter a single example of someone losing all of their power due to becoming sexually active. Even Samson, whose preternatural strength was robbed when he allowed Delilah to cut his hair (sometimes assumed to be a euphemism for sexuality) regained his strength afterwards (his hair was allowed to regrow) to fell a building with his bare hands.

In contrast, the female virgin mystic (typically) loses all of her power when she loses her virginity, and cannot regain it in any way. She is permanently divested of mystical power by opting to become sexually active- she has moved from the state of virgin mystic to potential mother- a mystical state with its own rules. In rare cases, a former virgin mystic may regain some power, but never the same power she had beforehand- it is either lesser in potency or of a completely different nature. A classic example is the kumari- a young Nepalese girl who is considered to be a living goddess...until she reaches puberty. Then all of her privileges are revoked, the reverence ceases, and a new kumari is appointed. ( http://www.babbaal.com/freak.php?id=1006 )

 

[T-Bone JiuJitsu]

I would not absolute rule out male players playing female PC's, but I would definitely STRONGLY discourage it in my campaign.

The one guy who I gamed with long ago who played female characters was also the type of D&D gamer who named his characters "Tofu" and "Tora Muscle" in an otherwise serious themed game. He was into acting, and had the attitude that playing female characters was just part of how D&D was played. LOL I remember asking him if he often tried out for female lead roles in his highschool theatre department.

Anyways, I personally find it weird and creepy, but I realize that there are more seriously weird and creepy players for many other reasons than this.

 

[dm4hire]

I've played female characters different ways, including seductive, prissy, snobbish, and even slutty as was mentioned. I've also played a lesbian character trying to prove herself in a so-called man's world. Then again I've played, Drow, Tiefling, Aasimar, Saurial, currently have a Gnoll ranger, and many other different races; should I stop playing them because I'm not of those races? No. When asked why I don't play human or at least non female human/humaniods I give this answer; "I'm a human male every day of my life; I don't know what's like to be a female in any race. It's just another way for me to figure out what it might be like and presents a role-playing challenge."

I've been playing for well over 20 years and have played all over the world and never had an issue playing the opposite sex. I make it a point of being aware of my fellow players and limit my comments and role-playing accordingly. I've played in groups where every character was female and in others where the only male characters were being played by female players. It was never an issue though.

I personally believe that imposing a rule against cross gender rping seems restrictive on the concept of role-playing for players. It also sounds a little backwards in thinking. If it wasn't rping, but instead acting for a play, would you require the same kind of rule if the play called for more of the opposite sex which your theatre group lacked? I doubt it. RPing doesn't have the same restriction of necessity, but the concept is still the same in that an actor, or in this case player, is chosing to play a role opposite his gender. Good actors/players can accomplish it, average ones can make a pass at it, and poor ones can totally mess up the role.

Now if the player, in playing the character, is doing something that offends the group or even a single member in how they role-play then it should be a matter of discussing the issue and requesting they modify their behavior without denying the character. One should never restrict creativity no matter how lacking the performance is as you might be surprised what might be learned from it. Playing a Drow in a racist city is a lesson in tolerance and understanding for both sides of the fence, getting frustrated to the point your character just leaves so the rest of the party can get something done. Heck role-playing a female in a sexist group of men, while you're trying to seriously play the part and enjoy the game, can be a lesson having to listen to crude jokes and comments.

I encourage you to give cross gender gaming a try and I mean in a serious game where everyone wants to act in character. I think you'll find that once you get into the game and the character you won't recognize any difference; you might even enjoy it.

 

[S'mon]

I play a perfectly good female PC, usually tough warrior types, but I've learned it's best to do that only with female GMs, who will be supportive, since there are a lot of immature guys out there. Only problem I've had is the one male player who kept referring to my PCs as 'he'.

Edit: My wife much prefers to run male PCs these days. She used to play female PCs, but found she got too attached to them and didn't like them to be hurt, or placed in danger (so in the Call of Cthulu game I ran she refused to go into the basement of The Haunted House, and sent the menfolk in instead). As a man she's more into the macho risk-taking. She'd be pretty pissed off at being banned from playing a male PC.

 

[Ginnel]

For record I'd call it gamers, playing characters of the opposite sex.

I don't have a problem with it and I'm a bit baffled as to why other people do, if in a world of make believe you can be whatever race you want whatever type of being you want, whatever job/role/class you want then gender really shouldn't be a problem.

I've played a couple of female characters myself probably only something like 5-10% of total characters I've played and found them challenging I found it easier playing one who wasn't sexually active and more child like in her outlook.
Basically it took more concentration on accents and attitude than a male counterpart who If I wanted to I could just slip back into a character more like myself and have an easier time roleplaying

 

[Lanefan]

Just remembered this little tidbit: at the start of one campaign some years ago, the DM ruled that our first characters *had* to be the opposite gender (players at the time were 3 male, 2 female) with the intention of forcing (some of) us to try something different. A couple of those characters went on to become party mainstays.

Group demographics can make a difference too, as can how well you know each other outside the game. Again, experiences at a con will almost certainly be different (read: worse) than experiences at a game among a group of long-time friends.

Lanefan

 

[Khaalis]

I always have two examples that I throw in as argument against the anti-cross-gender attitudes in gaming:

Shakespeare
Monty Python

'Nuff said.

 

[Jeff Wilder]

I would not absolute rule out male players playing female PC's, but I would definitely STRONGLY discourage it in my campaign.

Me too, or pretty close.

Understand that I am not making a blanket statement about anybody reading this message, or anybody a reader may know, but:

I have never seen a man roleplay a woman well. Never. 24 years of RPGing, and not once. (This includes me, the couple of times I tried it when I was much younger.) I've seen a few women roleplay a man well. (IME, women seem to generally have less desire to play cross-gender, which I suppose is a shame, given that IME they're infinitely better at it.)

Don't get me wrong ... I've seen men roleplay, say, a rogue and do a fine job of roleplaying a rogue. And occasionally that rogue might be female. But in those cases, anybody paying attention to the roleplay wouldn't be able to tell the gender of the PC, and that leads to two questions: (1) If someone can't tell your gender from your roleplay, isn't that not such a good thing? (2) So why bother playing cross-gender?

There are many logical differences between roleplaying a fantasy race and a real gender, or a genderless PC and a real gender. (At the most basic level, for instance, it's very difficult to tell somebody that they don't seem like a "real" elf, but it's quite valid to express that someone doesn't seem like a real woman.) Those differences are IME dealbreakers.

I wouldn't ban cross-gender roleplaying IMC, but I'd make sure the player considers it very carefully. I wouldn't allow a player to do it "just because," or roll randomly to decide. Gender is too important to immersion, IMO, for it to be a lark. ("Good innkeep, our minstrel is a phenomenal lutist. He's studied with the finest musicians in the Flanaess." "She." "What?" "My bard is female." "Oh, right." "With a 20 Charisma." "Right ... " Repeat 10 times a session.)

It's pretty much a moot issue, in any event .... nobody seems to have had any desire to play cross-gender in any of our games for years and years.