Dr Midnight
Explorer
I sincerely doubt I'll hear from her again. Not that I mind all that much... the more I think about it, the madder I get at how I was treated. She's got issues I don't really care to muck in.
D&D, Dating, and Dr. Midnight (Thread #2)
- Thread starter Dr Midnight
- Start date
I can't take it anymore
I make my return to the to the boards (not that I ever posted much before as Blackhelm) and see the Doc in distress. I feel for you man. My love life has been going through hell too. Had one of my friends help me out by reopening an old wound (had myself convinced I didn't care for 4 years) just to find the situation is even worse now
. Somebody else sets me up with a girl that makes the age difference painfully apparent (just seven years my 29 to her 22) Then I threw my hat in the ring on the personal ad sites, that can interesting to say the least.
The only help I can give out Doc is to head over to Askmen.com and listen to the advice of Doc Love he might be able to give you some help, he open my eyes to a lot of my mistakes.
Oh and maybe some words to help you out "I’ve been beaten, kicked, lied to, cussed at, swindled, taken advantage of and laughed at but the only reason I hang around this place is to see what happens next!" and smile a lot or people will think you are really bitter
I make my return to the to the boards (not that I ever posted much before as Blackhelm) and see the Doc in distress. I feel for you man. My love life has been going through hell too. Had one of my friends help me out by reopening an old wound (had myself convinced I didn't care for 4 years) just to find the situation is even worse now
. Somebody else sets me up with a girl that makes the age difference painfully apparent (just seven years my 29 to her 22) Then I threw my hat in the ring on the personal ad sites, that can interesting to say the least. The only help I can give out Doc is to head over to Askmen.com and listen to the advice of Doc Love he might be able to give you some help, he open my eyes to a lot of my mistakes.
Oh and maybe some words to help you out "I’ve been beaten, kicked, lied to, cussed at, swindled, taken advantage of and laughed at but the only reason I hang around this place is to see what happens next!" and smile a lot or people will think you are really bitter
It's good to hear that you're taking it positively Doc. And to comment on the "they come when you're not looking" I have to say that personal experience has tended to back this up. When you are actually content being single, I think that the contentment shows--desperate and unhappy are not the most attractive qualities out there. Also, I think it makes it much easier to just be yourself--another key factor, as you found out on your first date with Alison. And thirdly, you tend to not put up with all the bull***t, because you know you'll be fine even if nothing goes down.
Just my .02, currently single and enjoying the hell out of it.
tribe
Just my .02, currently single and enjoying the hell out of it.
tribe
Metus
First Post
Hey Doc, I usually try to keep my opinions to myself, but I just can't help it this time. AskMen is good, AskMen is right. Follow AskMen. Seriously. I look back a few years ago and am amazed at how clueless, shy and generally nervous I was about anything to do with relationships. I've grown since then, and that website played a good part. Sounds like a bad commercial plug, but I'm serious. Doc Love's articles you should follow to the T.
I took it all to heart and constantly remembered it, and I feel so much more adept at figuring relationships (and women) out now. I think it can solve anything and everything, but I suppose what someone gets out of the site is up to the individual. The advice has never failed me yet, however.
Enough of me being a shill for the website. Good luck with the relationships. Hope everything turns out for the best.
I took it all to heart and constantly remembered it, and I feel so much more adept at figuring relationships (and women) out now. I think it can solve anything and everything, but I suppose what someone gets out of the site is up to the individual. The advice has never failed me yet, however.
Enough of me being a shill for the website. Good luck with the relationships. Hope everything turns out for the best.
I'm A Banana
Potassium-Rich
And nothin' makes a chick want some more than those two qualities. You could be the biggest loser out there -- as long as you're comfortable with it, some chick's gonna pick up on it.
My theory? Many women are very insecure themselves...they don't want a guy they have to encurage and make feel better. If a guy seems too desperate and/or "needy," they'll probably take a pass.
At the same time, women themselves are often quite needy. So they're not really going to go for a middle-of-the-road type guy that often, either. She wants to be able to get support from you.
That's why cocky, strident, over-confident men get a lot of the chicks, especially early on. There's ALWAYS exceptions, and there is such a thing as being TOO self-confident (for some women), but if you act in control and composed, then women may be attracted to you because they don't see themselves as in control and composed. Thusly, they desire it in a partner.
Though that's just a theory.
Pielorinho
Iron Fist of Pelor
I'm no real meter of successful relationships, but here are the ones I've gotten in:
1) In high school, I decided to drop out, move to the West coast, and become a full-time ecoradical. The day before I left, I talked to a girl (a casual friend) about it, fell madly in love, changed my plans, and stayed with her nearly two years. None of the half-dozen or so major crushes I'd ever had had amounted to so much as a smooch.
2) A couple years after we broke up, after a few failed attempts at various romances, I was getting ready to leave for college. I went on a hike with a casual friend, spent the day hanging out with her, and fixed breakfast with her the next day. She was a bit of a psycho, but we stayed together for several months.
3) College was a sucky series of celibacies punctuated by about one one-night-stand each year. Yuck
4) The one relationship that I actually tried to get into was with a long-term friend. I knew before I went into it that she was a stinking liar to her previous boyfriend; I just somehow didn't make the connection that she'd treat me the same.
5) Another series of failed attempts at romance, including personals, casual meetings, even nighttime walks through the woods with cute women. One personals ad progressed as far as a makeout session: the next day, she told me that she still wasn't over her previous boyfriend and was freaking out.
6) Dismayed, and disgusted with the whole thought of romance, I called my brother and told him I was driving up to his place for the weekend. Drinking and video games, I thought. No thoughts of smooching! Some friends of his were there when I got there, and one of them was kinda cute. Next evening, she invited herself over for dinner and wine. As my brother flirted with his new flame, as the Chattanooga Choo Choo played on the radio, she leaned back in my arms, and I (not expecting to) kissed her.
That was three years ago. She's finishing grad school next month, and then she's moving back to this town, and we're moving in together, and it's the best thing ever.
**********
I know not everyone's this way. But when I get interested in a woman, if I don't KNOW that she likes me, know beyond a doubt, then I get all doubtful and nervous and second-guessing and desperate to have her like me and sweaty. It's pretty unattractive. The only good relationships I've gotten into are the ones that take me by surprise, the ones where I don't have a chance to think too much about it.
Given some of the second-guessing in your posts, good Doc, I'm wondering if you're the same way.
Daniel
1) In high school, I decided to drop out, move to the West coast, and become a full-time ecoradical. The day before I left, I talked to a girl (a casual friend) about it, fell madly in love, changed my plans, and stayed with her nearly two years. None of the half-dozen or so major crushes I'd ever had had amounted to so much as a smooch.
2) A couple years after we broke up, after a few failed attempts at various romances, I was getting ready to leave for college. I went on a hike with a casual friend, spent the day hanging out with her, and fixed breakfast with her the next day. She was a bit of a psycho, but we stayed together for several months.
3) College was a sucky series of celibacies punctuated by about one one-night-stand each year. Yuck
4) The one relationship that I actually tried to get into was with a long-term friend. I knew before I went into it that she was a stinking liar to her previous boyfriend; I just somehow didn't make the connection that she'd treat me the same.
5) Another series of failed attempts at romance, including personals, casual meetings, even nighttime walks through the woods with cute women. One personals ad progressed as far as a makeout session: the next day, she told me that she still wasn't over her previous boyfriend and was freaking out.
6) Dismayed, and disgusted with the whole thought of romance, I called my brother and told him I was driving up to his place for the weekend. Drinking and video games, I thought. No thoughts of smooching! Some friends of his were there when I got there, and one of them was kinda cute. Next evening, she invited herself over for dinner and wine. As my brother flirted with his new flame, as the Chattanooga Choo Choo played on the radio, she leaned back in my arms, and I (not expecting to) kissed her.
That was three years ago. She's finishing grad school next month, and then she's moving back to this town, and we're moving in together, and it's the best thing ever.
**********
I know not everyone's this way. But when I get interested in a woman, if I don't KNOW that she likes me, know beyond a doubt, then I get all doubtful and nervous and second-guessing and desperate to have her like me and sweaty. It's pretty unattractive. The only good relationships I've gotten into are the ones that take me by surprise, the ones where I don't have a chance to think too much about it.
Given some of the second-guessing in your posts, good Doc, I'm wondering if you're the same way.
Daniel
Last edited:
William Ronald
Explorer
Dr. Midnight:
As Allison did not work out, try to keep in touch with Erica.
She does not seem to have the issues that Allison had. Who knows, you might have found someone special.
I think the loss is Allison's, not yours. Hang in there, and good luck.
As Allison did not work out, try to keep in touch with Erica.
She does not seem to have the issues that Allison had. Who knows, you might have found someone special.
I think the loss is Allison's, not yours. Hang in there, and good luck.
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