D&D General D&D Evolutions You Like and Dislike [+]

[Lanefan]

I think a lot of us are coming at this from two very different angles.

It seems like for a fair amount of people on this thread, the game comes first. You decide to start a game, and you look for a group of interested people to play with. Your games might last a while, and it's understood that some people will join, and others will leave.

This is me all the way.

However.....

For myself (and it sounds like @Remathilis and a few other people in this thread), the group of friends is the center of the activity.

My players are also my friends. I don't generally run for strangers other than extremely rare* convention games.

Players can come and go in my game and still remain friends. Also, in theory (though not as much in practice as I'd like) we all see each other outside the game - it's not like the game is our only point of contact - meaning that when we get together on game night the focus is the game we're there for.

I don't think the two angles you speak of are as disparate as you're makign them otu to be.

* - as in, twice in my life so far.

 

[Lanefan]

I literally said I had a player who told me she has a concern with animal and child abuse in.game and @Lanefan suggested that I should have told her "we all want child abuse in our game, go play something else." How else am I supposed to take that?

The way you described it, it seems this player was new to your game but already actively playing when these concerns came up. If I misread that, apologies.

My point is if I've read it right and this was in fact the case, it shouldn't have ever got to that point. Something went adrift in the process of describing the game being run before inviting that player in, leading to what sounds like an uncomfortable situation later.

 

[GrimCo]

Players can come and go in my game and still remain friends. Also, in theory (though not as much in practice as I'd like) we all see each other outside the game - it's not like the game is our only point of contact - meaning that when we get together on game night the focus is the game we're there for.

Same here. We are friend group first, gaming group second. One of the guys will soon become dad again, so he won't be playing with us for at least until end of the year since committing 3-4 hours during the weekend is big ask. Maybe he'll drop in for session here and there. But he is still friend. We might still grab quick coffe, see each other when we have family barbecue or on kids birthdays, our birthdays etc when all of us get together with significant others and our kids and hang out.

I have also another group, who are also friends, but due to scheduling, i had to stop playing with them. Still see them, we grab a drink, go to concert etc. I just don't play with them.

 

[Remathilis]

The way you described it, it seems this player was new to your game but already actively playing when these concerns came up. If I misread that, apologies.

My point is if I've read it right and this was in fact the case, it shouldn't have ever got to that point. Something went adrift in the process of describing the game being run before inviting that player in, leading to what sounds like an uncomfortable situation later.

Nah. This was session zero. We had not started this game yet and the comment was in reaction to a list of possible triggers, not anything that had come up prior. We had played together previously, but this was my first time DMing for her and since we're not close, I did the checklist. (I've also done the checklist with everyone once, even people I've known all my life, because people sometimes don't know they have any issues with something until it's brought up).

I have found the lines and veils are useful for that reason; even I have looked at the list and saw things I would rather not deal with in graphic detail, as player or DM. For example, I may describe someone as "being tortured" or having signs of torture, but I won't go into detail because it bothers me to do so. (I'm not a fan of the Saw films, if that isn't obvious). If I was playing in a game and the DM started graphically describing a torture scene, I'm pretty sure I'd say "yeah, we get the picture. Can we roll for initiative now?" To move past the violence p0rn. That's my X card. The world is violent and brutal, but the description of it doesn't need to be.

 

[Necropolitan]

I literally said I had a player who told me she has a concern with animal and child abuse in.game and @Lanefan suggested that I should have told her "we all want child abuse in our game, go play something else." How else am I supposed to take that?

Nobody said that, stop with the blatantly false accusations.