Meh. To each their own.
I just found the bard running around hitting people with a sword (using charisma no less) to be weird, as was the bard waggling their wand. Nothing particularly wand-ish about the bard class. The multiclassing was a fun nod to their 1e roots but in practice it just led the bard to feel less like a bard and more like other classes. Very few powers had a musical or song hook, other than some loose flavour text. And instruments were just implements, pretty much wands with "wands" crossed out and "instrument" written in its place. The majority of the powers could have been any leader class' powers. Words of Friendship was ridonkulous; skills were never the best system in the game for hard math but giving a class with high Charisma who was likely trained in Diplomacy a +5 bonus pretty much whenever made their Diplo bonus unbeatable.
Personally, I always found 4e's alternate attack stats broke my verisimilitude. "Hey, I'm a bard. Strength and Dexterity are my dump stats so I can barely lift my rapier and am as clumsy as a legless dwarf, but I can stab you in the face using my charm." Yeah, a bard should have a high Charisma and might want to be in melee, but there had to be a better way to get the math to work than just saying "okay, you stab people with your personality."
But 4e was never the edition for people who wanted any semblance of verisimilitude in their game.
Well, FIRST of all I'd point out that the bard is an ARCANE class, and this is very much in keeping with the source material (Celtic and Norse Bards/Skalds). Beyond that there's nothing wrong with a character's primary method of beating the enemy being awing them, cowing them, and just overwhelming them with your personality, showmanship, etc. This is very much in keeping with the whole theme. Again, you have such a rigid idea of how game mechanics and narrative must interact that you're missing entire aspects of the game. My bard doesn't use speed or strength wielding his rapier as his primary means of defeating someone. However, think about this, his STR and DEX are not going to be exactly horrible. Even if one of them is an 8 that's only slightly below average (which we assume in the 3-18 range D&D imagines is about 10-11, indeed exactly where you have a +0 modifier). Most bard characters over most of their careers will be at least average in every stat. That's not the picture of weak clod. Even if you ARE weak and slow that won't force you to be a bad swordsman, it just means you would need practice and different tactics, like what the bard actually DOES use...
Also, I see nothing wrong with bardic instruments. Sure, they could have made instrument a generalized type of implement, but most bards will find playing an instrument advantageous (just maybe not always in combat), and many will no doubt have magical instruments that can be used as implements. Others have singing swords and bows (maybe other weapons too), which seem cool and thematic to me. I think instead of dissing something for what it is how about what's missing? Is there something you needed from this class that wasn't there? I don't see you mentioning anything.
As for being able to use wands, meh whatever. You can also refluff things easily if you want, so big deal. Bards are magical practitioners, so there's no real reason why they shouldn't be able to use the tools of the trade. I could see the various bard functions/styles being broken out in a different way, but the 4e way was certainly fine. Again, the issue relating to DDN is more that you refuse to do anything but wholesale rejection. Every aspect of everything 4e is bad, wrong, stupid, etc. You guys will never get any cred, and DDN won't get any cred at all, until that attitude dries up and blows away. Give it up!