D500 Screen name= plot devices

[Lord Judas]

Blatantly Stolen, but I like it:

Lord Judas, written in the Book of Vile Darkness:
"I am the dark one, the outstretched grasping hand
My image is of agony, my servants rape the land
Obsequious and arrogant, clandestine and vain
Two thousand years of misery, of torture in my name
Hypocrisy made paramount, paranoia the law
My name is called religion; sadistic, sacred whore.

I twist the truth, I rule the world, my crown is called deceit
I am the emperor of lies, you grovel at my feet
I rob you and I slaughter you, your downfall is my gain
And still you play the sycophant and revel in your pain
And all my promises are lies, all my love is hate
I am the politician, and I decide your fate

I march before a martyred world, an army for the fight
I speak of great heroic days, of victory and might
I hold a banner drenched in blood, I urge you to be brave
I lead you to your destiny, I lead you to your grave
Your bones will build my palaces, your eyes will stud my crown
For I am unto Mars, the god of war, and I will cut you down."

 

[Kweezil]

Kweezil Mestrange (to use my full name, full marks to anyone who guesses where I liberated it from)

A wandering halfling sorcerer/rogue with a taste for dark-yet-tasteless outfits and a manic glint in his eye. He specialises in unusual potions and has a tendancy to blather at people until they give up in disgust and go away. His personal favourite is a strong black brew that grants haste and a bonus to Spot and Listen. It would surely sell well, if only he didn't drink it all first.