Dating someone older or younger- seriously.

[The Other Librarian]

/he'd hit it.

//just farkin' around.

 

[Desdichado]

This describes my wife & I almost perfectly. I'm 3 years older than she is, and we often find ourselves with different points of reference, especially with pop culture. I often say things like "Did you ever watch <insert long forgotten cartoon name here>?" and she gives me a blank stare. Or she will talk about a band that had a big radio hit in the early 90s that she remembers from high school and all I can say is "Uh, no, don't remember it, but I saw Phish play 12 times that year." 3 years doesn't sound like a long time, but I remember when Gerald Ford was president and she doesn't. I remember seeing Star Wars in the theater in 1977, she never did. Little things overall, but on occasion we both have one of those "Hmm" moments.

My wife and I are only a year and a half apart, and we have that happen all the time. Just different upbringing, I guess. I never watched Dallas, Dynasty or the Jeffersons and she never watched Buck Rogers, Battlestar Galactica, Thundarr the Barbarian or the Secret Powers of Matthew Star, for instance. Nothing to do with ages, though, just unshared interests and upbringing.

Of course, I grew up in a family of almost all boys and she grew up in a family of almost all girls...

 

[Gilladian]

My husband and I are six years apart. I was 14 when we met, but he didn't realize it. He thought my 16 year old brother was younger than me for about a week.

We met at a time when my father was being stalked, was shot, and almost killed. My parents were so glad that I was dating a guy with a car who could drive me home from school (to the local game shop, where I hung out most afternoons) so I didn't have to walk past the stalker's house, that they were willing to take the risk of me seeing an older guy.

It helped that they knew a lot of the other game-shop guys were all keeping an eye on us. I was about the only girl there and we were chaperoned quite well!

Later, my family moved out of state and my then-boyfriend moved along, rented a room from my parents, and lived with us until I turned 18. Nothing like living under your parents' eyes to keep a guy in line.

I suppose the relationship was "illegal" but since nobody complained, nothing happened.

Now, we have the "do you remember this?" questions, sometimes. But since we've been married just under 22 years, they're generally moot. We've spent far more time together than apart. We don't think much about the difference, and neither does anyone else that I'm aware of.

Gilladian

 

[Gnarlo]

I'm with the group that says it really depends on what the ages are generationally (someone who went to A New Hope as a child vs someone who saw Titanic as a child), what your experiences are (whether you've both been divorced, in the army, have careers, etc.), an what your maturity levels are (actually maturity levels like are you in the settle down or party stages of your life, not the "I'm 18 but mentally I feel I'm closer to 40" type of thought). Those can be huge strains on relationships, and the all of the relationships among my friends that have had differences like that have failed.

Having said that, my wife hates computers and gaming, thinks SciFi and Fantasy is childish and silly, is upper middle class Iranian and lived there the first 20+ years of her life while I was raised a poor Georgia country boy, exercises every day while I don't like walking out to the mailbox, looks like Princess Jasmine while I resemble Frasier Crane more and more the older I get, and is 7 years older than me (39-46). We've been together happily now for 12 years, so everyone can probably give you anectodal evidence that proves the rule

 

[mythago]

But only when you refer to them as "chickie-boos." I have it on good authority that they like that especially.

*swoon!*

 

[Prince of Happiness]

All of my girlfriends, with the exception of one, have been older than me. It's nice!

I would say that when it's ten years rather than five, things do arise. More history, etc.

 

[Pbartender]

Here's a little different perspective...

My wife is only about 4 months older than I am. We are both almost 29 years old, and have been married for six and a half years. We have a daughter who's five and a half (so she tells everyone... repeatedly) and a son who's not quite seven (that's right... you can do the math ).

Anyway, to many people, my wife looks like she's 5-10 years younger than she actually is, and I'm often mistaken as 5-10 years older. This leads to a great many misunderstandings.

The unabashed pickup lines my wife regularly gets from high-school boys... "Sorry kid, I've been happily married for 6 years... to a man with a regular job... who doesn't live with his parents."

The glares and scowls my wife gets when she's out alone with the kids... "Sorry, if I'd actually been pregnant when I was 12, my children would be starting high school, not kindergarten."

The glares and scowls I get when I'm out with my wife... "No, actually, she's older than I am."

The knowling grins and meaningful winks from the bartender I get when my wife and I go out on a date... "No, actually, she's older than I am."

As much as any relationship, dating or marrying someone much older or younger than you can either work out quite well, or not... It all depends on the people. Just don't be surprised by any reactions you may encounter. Appearances have far more sway over our emotions than most of us would like to admit.

 

[Panthanas]

I'm almost 7 years older than my fiancée (31 and 24 [she turns 25 in March]). We've been together for a little over 3 years now and have a 15 month old son. The only time that its even been remotely "weird" is when we were watching "I Love the 80's" on VH1 and I'm saying, "Oh yeah! I remember that!" And her reply is, "I was 4! You're old!" People don't really comment on it when we're out, mostly because, I've been told, that I look younger than I am...say about 23-25ish, but then again no one really says anything about it when they find out I'm older either.