Cold Vengeance and Haute Cuisine
“Three stars?” asked Thaza. “Sounds like a good play or a bad telescope.”
Times Square was packed, thousands of revelers ready to ring in the new year. Through the crowd pushed four determined faces: three Asian women and Rafe Lancaster.
Thaza O'Rourke, cat burglar extraordinaire, was a fellow New Yorker and an obvious choice. Devika Velyapur, his mystic bestie, isn't far away. But the newest companion might be the smartest and deadliest woman in China: Xiao Yun.
They were at the end of a two-day hunt to grab a kidnapping lunatic “Mad” Magni Brynhildjarson, who had nabbed Devika's best friend Ava Astor from a biathlon in Canada.
Mad Magni fled into the New York Times building,
chased by the police… who soon turned and chased notorious swindler Thaza! Thaza O'Rourke had an advantage though: she dipped into the massive crowd, emerging a few minutes later with a half dozen “1935” disguise accessories.
In the building, the players found Magni…
well, most of him. He had been nearly bisected by some kind of creature, who Devi sensed was higher in the building.
The group reassembled in the newsroom, and the former goddess of the Red Jasmine Cult made a powerful move…
She reached for the light switch. It turned out the shadowy monster was lurking mere feet away!
Thaza, with the strength she learned from her ape family in Borneo, picked up a filing cabinet and put it between the monster and the group. Xiao Yun whipped out her jian, ran along the city editor's desk, lept off the cabinet and landed a backflip slash at the creature! (Xiao is the only adventurer in Ziegler Security history to have trained in wuxia.)
Devi tried a mystic whammy, but it wasn't very effective.
Rafe had a better idea. Having a contact at the paper, he ransacked his buddy’s desk for a copywriting magnifier. As the creature tried to use its spectral claws on Xiao, Rafe handed the glass to Devika. She used it to amplify her mystic senses and noticed that the creature had something strange and powerful in its mouth. Thaza rolled by in an office chair, and while Xiao held its mouth open, stole a coin from its slavering jaws. The creature vanished… leaving behind the bruised and unconscious form of Ava Astor!
The Chinese battle medic looked at the coin and drew on her knowledge of Norse mythology. The piece featured Loki and the reversed Uruz rune, which signified a curse of un-health. Devi had the idea to get the coin as far away from Ava as possible… the fastest way to do that was the elevator.
The two of them headed to the top floor…
before realizing it was occupied by people who were about to drop The Ball! Maybe the next floor down would be better.
Down on the street, New York's finest noticed the lights on and entered the building… Only to find Magni's corpse! Thaza did the smart thing. She turned off the lights, locked the door, and waited for Devi’s phone call.
Moving the coin didn't help, and it couldn't be destroyed. But the group had acted fast: they were able to escape from the building as fireworks went off and thousands of people drunkenly sang Auld Lang Syne.
—
A few days passed, and the world's greatest specialists couldn't rouse Ava Astor. Even analyzing Magni's manifesto didn't help. Things looked bleak, until the players heard a vaguely familiar voice, inviting them to France as soon as possible.
Unfortunately, there was something else delivered minutes later.
“Are you Rafe Lancaster? You’ve been served. This is an injunction naming you a person of interest in the Time Square slaying. You're not to leave the state for 30 days.”
Rafe, master of discretion, waited until the process server left before getting on the phone, calling the bench judge, and asking about his reelection fund. A few minutes later, and the group was packing for France!
This adventure was in Lyon, not Paris. It's worth noting that the 1930s were a great time for French cuisine
… Because the Michelin tire company, which used to simply ‘star’ good restaurants, introduced the three star rating. The group’s mysterious benefactor wanted to meet them for a sumptuous five-course meal at La Mere Brazier. The person's name?
Marlene Dietrich!
The screen legend had been following Norse coins from another direction. It turned out Magni had a brother, Stig, a much more competent sorcerer. And he was in line with a powerful buyer…a ranking officer of the Third Reich. Marlene knew that they would meet in the restaurant in two days, but didn't know either’s face or voice.
This led to one of the funniest but tensest clashes of the campaign. The group had to stay undercover in one of the most efficient restaurants in the world. Egotistical Rafe, who knew his way around an omelette, volunteered as sous chef. Xiao, one of the most educated people in the Middle Kingdom, worked as a sommelier, while millionaire Devika donned her old disguise as Mexican busboy Diego. Thaza, whose experience in cooking was mostly rotating meat on a spit, decided to sneakily patrol the best dining rooms.
And of course, once everyone was in their positions, word came down that
the Michelin critic was going to be in attendance tonight, jeopardizing the entire future of the restaurant!
The group had to deal with rush service, potential spies, and French customers. One jerk decided to yell at a server, so Xiao stepped in, absorbing the woman's cruel barrage placidly. After about 90 seconds of screaming, the medic looked at the customer in the eye and said the only sentence she knew en francais:
In the kitchen, culinary legend Eugénie Brazier barked orders like a general. She was amused by Devika (“you look like my son in a school play”), and surprised by Lancaster, who was able to keep his station tidy and efficient while being yelled at in his second language. (He was lucky that Crafts is both the engineering skill and cooking skill!)
Thaza was in her element, sneaking through the restaurant and interfering with the sudden appearance of
dead-eyed, dinner-suit-wearing thugs. She was able to outfox them repeatedly, and even had a line after disabling a magic dampening coin in the men's room.
“Ha ha. Women's was out of soap.”
Once the dampers were in the dumpster, it was easy enough to find Stig. Devika stepped up to the Norseman, took a piece of paper out of her pocket, and declared confidently:
“Stig Brynhildjarson? You’ve been served!”
His Nazi dining companion asked if this was a child's idea of a joke. Devi dramatically took off her mustache, explaining that this was a child's idea of justice!
… the Nazi responded by shooting Stig, stealing his magic coin, and fleeing. Unfortunately, he only made it to the parking lot before being wrapped, by Thaza, in a tablecloth, and
falling under his friend’s escape vehicle.
That friend drove another couple yards before Xiao emerged from the restaurant and hurled a steak knife into his right tire. The Nazi crashed through the front window of an auto-repair store, dropping the coin. As Rafe disconnected the engine to prevent a fire, a figure rose behind him, Tall and white…Bibendum, the Michelin Man!
Yes, Stig had embodied the nearest avatar, which happened to be a monocle-wearing French tire humanoid! It started combat by spitting out a disgusting spray of gravel, glass, and vulcanized rubber.
Our beloved heroes fought smarter, not harder. Rafe used a hoist to grab the creature from above, while Xiao trapped his foot under a lift. They pulled the creature open, and Thaza reached into its mouth to remove the coin. Unlike the one in New York, this showed Laufey, mother of Loki. and a mother coin, when destroyed, could sever the power of the others.
All that was left was making sure the Michelin reviewer didn't see the bloody brownshirt-remains in the parking lot. Fortunately, the restaurant had a back door and very discreet valets.
***
Back in New York, Ava was feeling much better, sitting up and complaining like always.
She was already calling organizers to get a re-run of the biathlon.
For the rest of the group, it was time for a relaxing time in New York City. Which meant taking the subway, and getting dinner from the hotdog stand.
