Design & Development: Halflings [merged]

[I'm A Banana]

Well, they are bigger now. They don't bite your ankle anymore, but rather your butt.

This little stunt might have been what got them in the core!

WotC: All right, Halfling? Gnome? We called you here because we're doing a 4e, and we're going to need to nix one of you from the PH in order to make room for some of our new stuff. Now, I know each of you have been having some issues with niche protection...
Gnome: Damn halfling stealing my schtick!
Halfling: You ain't the president of it!
WotC Guys, please! Now, Halfling, you've been with us since the beginning, and we've seen you come a long way. You've shed your baby fat and you've improved your diet and now you're stealing from dragons like a proper burglar.
Gnome: Thief!
Halfling: Schnozilla!
Gnome: Foot-barber!
Halfling: Badger-lover!
WotC: PLEASE! You two....*sigh*. And Gnome, you've been giving PC's a faerie race of trickster-illusionists from an early time.
Halfling: Tinkle Gnomes!
Gnome: You come over here and say that!
Halfling: Tinkle tinkle little gnome! What is that smell coming from your home? Your feet? Your body? No, it's not. You peed on the carpet, instead of a pot!
Gnome: Oh, go have a tender man-love with your gardener!
WotC: HEY! You BOTH have places where you need work. Halfling, we can't have you being gypsies anymore, we've got our wandering race, you need to tie yourself down somewhere and be productive.
Halfling: What, you want me to farm gems and sequins like Princess Sparkles over here?
WotC: No, you have to find something new! We also are going to need you to grow bigger. Certain suits have had enough naughty thoughts about Lidda that we need to at least make you guys waist-high
Gnome: Hey, look who is this edition's "Hennet!" Bring on the leather and the bondage gear, the Halflings have gone wild!
Hennet: (walking by the room, looking despondant, with a pink slip in his hand, he peeks in at the mention of halflings gone wild)
Halfling: LATER, BUCKLES! NOT NOW!
Hennet: (leaves, dragging some belts on the floor as he goes)
WotC: Gnome, don't be so smug. Your little steampunk fetish has GOT to go. We're getting enough accusations of being WoW, we're going to need you to do something more traditional.
Gnome: What, you guys afraid of a little change!
WotC: This is a new edition, you nimrod, it's nothing BUT change! We're also a little concerned about your badgers.
Halfling: *snicker*
Gnome: What?! Are you kidding me?! Snuggles is like family to me!
Halfling: (leans down the corridor) Hey Hennet, I think we've found a friend for that hamster you lost!
Gnome: DON'T YOU DARE! You twisted individual!
Halfling: Hey, WotC, did you hear the one about the badger, the mushroom, and the snake?
Gnome: Oh, cripes, what's this, you're trying to steal my jokes, too? Are we going to be re-naming Halflings "Carlos Mencia-lings"?
WotC: REGARDLESS of which one of you we choose, the other one will get to be in the Monster Manual. Gnome, to be honest, we think you might do well there. You could be a fey, and keep your badgers as minions. But it could go to the halfling, too.
Halfling: Badgers? For me?
WotC: No, we were thinking you guys would be in the sewers, with rats.
Gnome: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! You guys would be C.H.U.D.'s! Hahahahahaha!
Halfling[: WHAT?! What happened to our riding dogs?
WotC: Pointless symmetry, we got rid of 'em.
Gnome: Like they got rid of Ol' Yeller, right?
Halfling: NO! Not Fido!
WotC: The descision has been made!
Halfling: I can't be a monster with rats! I just can't be! Do you know what would happen to my street cred? Living in the sewers?
Gnome: The word "Poopling" comes to mind, hehehe...
WotC: Halfling, it'll be fine. You'll have the stealth, you'll have the 'secret cabal' going on...
Halfling: No. No, no, no, no, that's insane! I'm not a Juiblex kind of race, here! What happened to pipeweed and hairy feet and all that?
WotC: We're sacrificing a few sacred cows
Halfling: No...that's...that's insane, I can't....you're going to make me taller...I'm a HALFLING, and I'll no longer be HALF as tall?! I'm going to be taller, and you're going to throw me in the sewers with the rats and....and...that's..."Poopling?!" SERIOUSLY?
WotC: Calm down, Halfling...
Gnome: Heh, it's funny when shorty gets all riled up like this...
Halfling: No, this is madness! That's it, that's.....ARGH! I dare you, dare you! to try and put me in the MM! With freakin' rats! I tripple dog-dare you! You do it, and I swear to whatever crappy sword-god you guys are putting into the PH that I will....will....I'll....I'LL BITE YOUR BUTT!
A moment of stunned silence
Hennet: (offstage) Wooo!

*scene*

 

[Rechan]

KM, I thank you for that. My sides hurt.

Bringing Hennet in was also genius.

 

[Wormwood]

A trait inherited no doubt from the kender....

Feature, not bug.

 

[Wormwood]

The thing is, unless a DM tailored the encounters to make the hobbit useful a la Tolkein, it is hard to see the classic Tolkein hobbit being useful in the typical D&D scenario.

In thirty years I've never seen a single Boffin or Bolger or Bracegirdle or other useless country squire pick up a dirk to gut goblins for fun and profit.

 

[Hussar]

*Applause for KM*

That was brilliant. Nicely done.

Good point. Reinforces the fact that D&D 4e is all about the cool powers and ability to kick arse and take names and chew bubblegum and all that. The ability to play a heroic yet low-powered, un-cool character like Frodo or Sam or Bilbo is not a priority.

Hmmm. I wonder if 4e halflings will dual weild kukris?

Yeah, cos, given the choice between playing Wolverine or Kitty Pryde, EVERYONE goes with Kitty. Right.

Or, given the choice between playing Conan or Arthur Dent, people are just lining up to play gormless, feckless, useless individuals.

 

[AllisterH]

*Applause for KM*

That was brilliant. Nicely done.



Yeah, cos, given the choice between playing Wolverine or Kitty Pryde, EVERYONE goes with Kitty. Right.

Or, given the choice between playing Conan or Arthur Dent, people are just lining up to play gormless, feckless, useless individuals.

Er, I can see where you're going but the 1st example is horrible. Kitty's power-set is in many ways better than Wolverine's powerset.

A better example would be "You have a choice between playing an X-man or a regular human". Sure, the regular human is a choice but who is actually going to pick that?

 

[Jack99]

Good point. Reinforces the fact that D&D 4e is all about the cool powers and ability to kick arse and take names and chew bubblegum and all that. The ability to play a heroic yet low-powered, un-cool character like Frodo or Sam or Bilbo is not a priority.

Hmmm. I wonder if 4e halflings will dual weild kukris?

I am sure that (assuming you have a semi-decent DM) you can easily get to play a lazy fat halfling, who has become an adventurer despite of what he wants. Hell, maybe he comes from a family or clan of halflings that have rejected the watery ways, and live in small hills, smoking pot and whatnot all day long, living for the next meal. I really do not see how the crunch of 4e changes that.

 

[Kobold Avenger]

Er, I can see where you're going but the 1st example is horrible. Kitty's power-set is in many ways better than Wolverine's powerset.

A better example would be "You have a choice between playing an X-man or a regular human". Sure, the regular human is a choice but who is actually going to pick that?

Also not a good example because I'd pick Francis Castliagione otherwise known as Frank Castle over a few of the X-Men.

I think the choice should be, would you rather play Aunt May or Iceman?

But I honestly don't feel too many players are going to pick really low-powered characters. Even the role-playing opportunities will dry up if their characters good at nothing at all even skills, they'll just end up being a bad joke of a character.

 

[Cthulhudrew]

3e's 30-40lb halflings with even a mere 14 Str blithely running around carrying twice their bodyweight in equipment was rather silly, imho.

Yes. It's silly that chimpanzees are roughly 4 times stronger than an average human as well.

 

[Cthulhudrew]

And the thieving gypsy boat...people... have a charisma bonus... because..?

Because you've got to be a smooth talker to pull off a con.