Distracting players. How to deal with them?

[NPC]

I wrote the following in big, red, letters on a sheet of paper:

Pay Attention Please

Whenever my players start side conversations or aren't paying attention, I stop talking and hold up this sign until I've got eye contact with everyone. Then I resume the game.

I think eye contact is extremely important. If you don't have it, you don't have everyone's attention.

You could also try blowing a whistle. The players paying attention will not be surprised by the whistle, but the ones yapping will be surprised (at lest the first time or two--if you're stealthy).

But sooner or later you have to address the behavior. Otherwise, one or two people ruin the game night for everyone else. Some people really have a problem with sitting still and listening.

 

[Chimera]

PCs whose players are not paying attention because they're too involved in OT conversations and distractions;

1> Automatically fail Spot, Listen and other checks.
2> Draw attention like 110 decibel noisemaker/floodlights on a dark and quiet night.
3> Automatically fail Saving Throws.
4> Do NOT get to roll initiative and are automatically Flat Footed (until I feel like getting around to them, which depends on how annoying they were being).
5> Automatically insult all NPCs present with their obnoxious behavior.
6> Do not gain experience.

If that doesn't cure then, start hinting that maybe they don't really want to play at all and that you may just stop inviting them.

If that fails, then "forget" to invite them to the next session and see how it goes. If the other players notice, beg off by saying that the missing player seemed pretty busy and you didn't want to distract them. See if they catch the sarcasm.

 

[Morpheus]

In the game I'm running, we have 1 (sometimes 2) player who consistently can't focus for more than 5 minutes.
If he gets even the slightest bit bored, he'll either whistle, hum, or start a conversation with another player (who then doesn't pay attention to the game).

Now we don't hardcore game. We're there to have fun. But when 1-2 people distract 4-6 people from playing a game, it gets irritating more and more as the session goes on.

So, tell me, what have you done in the past to solve this? I've tried XP penalties, gentle reminders, not-so-gentle reminders, obvious-out-of-patience reminders, and simply ignoring the players who aren't focused (which causes more problems than it cures.)

It's to the point where a few of us are getting the feeling like we're wasting our time.

Booting the person isn't an option...yet.

These are probably the same people who had their own PE class when they were in school. Just take a ball and roll it into the middle of the room and yell, "Dodgeball!" Then, run for cover...

 

[painandgreed]

You say it, your character says it. that's always one of my favorites. My campaigns also have a lot of single character action, so I just drag them out of the room for it if the other characters aren't there. This prevents player kibitzing, using OOC knowledge, and lets them talk all they want. When it's their turn, they get all the attention and pay attention. Although I worry about people not liking that style of play, they've never complained and have stated they enjoy it. They seem perfectly willing to have downtime while others have the spotlight so they can have the spotlight later and keep all their secrets actually secret from the other players.

Other than that and perhaps getting him something to keep his attentions on rather than talking to other players, ask the other players to help enforce such things by not indulging in such conversations. If the two troublemakers are talking, just send them out of the room until such time as you need to call them back.

 

[J_D]

Yes ADD is one of the problems.

Also I refuse to spend anything but small amounts of time on an individual player (I think it's poor gaming for 1 guy to dominate 50% of the game time).

The not-so-friendly reminders don't seem to do anything other than make the whole group less interactive (kind of like chidind children).

But I am on my last nerve. There are 4 1/2 of us who came to play. And there are 1 1/2 of us who say they came to play. If the ideas you all have offered don't work. <boot>

There's a player in my group who has ADD. One of the best ways we've found to help him stay some what focused was to give him something to do with his hands. Usually it is a deck of cards from some CCG that he shuffles all night. If he's not doing something with his hands, he's bouncing off the walls.

This is regretful.

What I'm about to say may be considered by some to be insensitive or "politically incorrect" (in the cultural meaning of that phrase; I post no politics here), but it's what I think.

It is sad that this person has a medical condition that prevents him from participating as effectively as the others. I'd have sympathy for him and hope that he can get the medical help needed to overcome the condition. However, that said, as things stand now I'm not so sure this person really belongs in the group. If I'm going to have a group activity for the purpose of fun, then I expect and require that everyone in the group to contribute to that fun when appropriate and not be disruptive while waiting for their turn. That's the bottom line. If an individual can't contribute without being disruptive then he doesn't belong in the group; it's that simple. Why he can't contribute without being disruptive is irrelevant to the issue of group participation; it's only relevant to how you feel about him. Someone who has a medical reason he can't contribute can be viewed sympathetically while the person who is disruptive because he's a jerk can be viewed as negatively as you like, but regardless of the reason why he's like that, if he's disruptive he doesn't belong. If a player's disruptive and he can't or won't change the disruptive behavior, then boot away. You can sympathetically boot or contemptuously boot depending on the reason why, but boot.

As far as Starman's suggested solution to give the ADD person a deck of cards to keep their hands busy, I don't think that would work either. I'd find that someone continually shuffling a deck of cards at the table would be just as distracting and disruptive to me as their lack of attention or "bouncing off the walls". If you absolutely have to find some way to accomodate the ADD person, it's got to be a way that will be much less distracting or disruptive than their normal behavior. Personally, I have never understood the attitude that if doing something has some prerequisite or requirement a person can't meet that others who can meet it have to bend over backwards to make allowances for the person who can't just so that person can "participate".

 

[BlueBlackRed]

Um. you're attributing the quote to the wrong guy in one of your boxes.

But yes, shuffling cards would drive me nuts, along with others.

The "Pay attention please" sign would be nothing more than me saying it.

 

[Tiger Oracle]

i like this idea

I agree with francisca.

If he hums say (insert gods name here (made up if necessary)) curses you for the blasfamous nature of your song.

If he converses and the other player talks back (as suggested several times) make them fail saves.

But if the other player doesn't respond and the "annoyance"continues to talk to him anyways have some guard walk up and inquire if the person in question is bothering the other player.

 

[J_D]

Um. you're attributing the quote to the wrong guy in one of your boxes.

But yes, shuffling cards would drive me nuts, along with others.

The "Pay attention please" sign would be nothing more than me saying it.

You're quite right. Most sorry about that; I went back and fixed it.

Oh, and besides the continual card-shuffling driving me nuts, it also doesn't help the attention problem. It may stop the unfortunate ADD person from "bouncing off the walls", but he's still not concentrating on the game; he's concentating on card-shuffling instead. I see no benefit here.

 

[Starman]

You're quite right. Most sorry about that; I went back and fixed it.

Oh, and besides the continual card-shuffling driving me nuts, it also doesn't help the attention problem. It may stop the unfortunate ADD person from "bouncing off the walls", but he's still not concentrating on the game; he's concentating on card-shuffling instead. I see no benefit here.

Actually, it works fairly well. He doesn't focus on the cards; it's rather mindless shuffling. He's also quiet about it. It's much better than the alternative.

Starman

 

[Adlon]

If you have a TRUE medical case of ADD in your group, you'll not be able to fix the problem. I have a nephew with classic ADD, so I know. It's unfortunate, but, you'll not be able to consistently rivet his attention. He/she may be a GREAT person and friend, but, that one aspect of the individual won't change.

But, here's what you can do...it MAY help....

Rotate your seating arrangement each week. Have the ADD player sit next to a different person each week. Note WHO he interacts with the LEAST.

Once you find this (hopefully, you do), talk to the NON ADD player, and tell him/her that as a group, you all need this new permanent seating arrangement to keep the game on track. It should be obvious to all players that this distraction exists.

Have an NPC request that this player draw a map of his last adventure. Essentially, he'll be drawing, and not as attentive to YOU, but, he'll not be talking OVER you. Lesser of two weevils?
The NPC would perhaps be a known Ranger, where perhaps he has business in the region the group last travelled through, and needs the players map as extra insight. Hopefully, it's a LONG journey he's trying to map out.

Talk to him nicely after every game. I mean EVERY game. No matter how old an ADD person is, they need input, and a release. Ask him stuff like 'did you have fun tonite', 'do you see any problems that we can fix', in other words, stimulate provocative thought. He MAY imprint some of your concerns over time. Make sure you provide your input too: 'you know, sometimes, there is just SO much excessive chatter at the table, it makes it hard to run the game sometimes'. Dont target HIM per se, make it a general statement.

This may seem like a bit of extra responsibility for the DM, but, he made the choice to have this player in his game, no doubt being a good friend.

Just be creative, and find ways to keep him busy, and isolated from his favorite chat partners. If this person is a he, and is shy around girls, there you go.....