DM's: Do you have one player in your group you'd like to give the boot?

[Chimera]

Oh yeah. As Player and as GM.

It's tough when you're a player and the other person has spent more time in the group, or is personal friends with people who, even though they know and admit how much of a (insert expletive here) the person is, they are too uncomfortable with the idea of not gaming with that person anymore. (But he's a friend! I can't do that!) That's the "Friends before the Game mentality" that says that your friendship is more important than the game, therefore you have to endure the crap in order to maintain the friendship.
Now, I'm not necessarily saying that's wrong, because I've done it myself and you have to do what is right for you. But I've also been on the end where the crap gets so deep that you end up cleaning house on both sides. ("Sorry Bruce, but I can't game with you anymore." "Fine, then we're not friends anymore." "Yeah, been meaning to talk to you about that.... you're right, we're not friends anymore either.")

The absolute worst was a group where everyone hated a particular player and the GM had been talking about giving the guy the boot. He was very unpleasant to interact with and openly cheated at the table. When the guy left "temporarily" for a couple of months due to RL concerns, everyone rejoiced and said that he'd never be allowed back. Then all of a sudden he came back! I asked about it and everyone just kind of looked away and made sheepish excuses for it. WTF???

 

[BlackMoria]

No. And I will not.

I don't understand why people tolerate disruptive behavior at the game table, friend or not.

I believe that frank discussion (not a argument or screaming match) is the solution to most problems at the game table and if a so called friend takes offence and stops the friendship, then I submit that they were not a 'true' friend in the first place.

It is bad enough that we have to endure jerks during our normal activities like our job and social outings but I will be damned if I will tolerate jerk-like behavior at my game table.

I've not had anything like a disruptive player in a long time, remarkable since I run an open table and the majority of the time, most players I have in my campaign are not friends but acquaintances.

The last time I had a disruptive player (arguing with another player ending with a flung dice), I called a immediate timeout on the game, asked everyone but the disruptive player to leave us alone for 20 minutes and then the player and I had a talk. In this instance, the player apologized to the group and played the rest of the evening and was much better behaved from that point onwards.

On the rare occasion, the other players came back to an vacant chair and I let them know the other person will not be joining us for the rest of that game session. The person is allowed back in the next session with the understanding that disruptive behavior will get them ejected from the game, perhaps permanently.

In 32 years, I never had to ban someone permanently from my table (I had one person not return after I put him in a 'time out' but I let him know he was welcomed back for the next session but he chose to drop out of the game due to ongoing personal problems with his family).

 

[Stalker0]

For those with the "my long term friend is a jerk, what do I do?" Here's what you do...you tell him.

Especially with guys, sometimes we really just don't get what's going on. Your friend could be a jerk in game and honestly not know it. Roleplaying is about getting to do things you normally don't get to do, and sometimes people take it too far.

So you sit him down and you hash it out. You don't have to be blunt, but be straightforward. If he can't take it, then he leaves. He might get mad at you, no one wants to hear that they suck, but if they stay mad, then they aren't really a good friend.

 

[Odhanan]

DM's: Do you have one player in your group you'd like to give the boot? Doesn't it always seem like there's just one person who you'd like to grab by the undie-strap and toss out into the dumpster?

No.

 

[dagger]

Yes.

If I am not the DM I make sure I am the next DM in line then I boot the player.

Our group has no mercy but no one seems to have the stones to kick players. Heck, I kicked a guy out once who had just broken up with his long time girlfriend. He was being a punk to one of the other female players, "say hello to my little friend".



Thankfully we rarely have had to kick players the last 5 years, are group has been pretty steady. Most of the new players we have come back to the group are actually just old players we have not played with in many moons.

We have just gotten a new guy who has never played anything but Everquest and World of Warcraft. So we are taking it easy on him and will give him a few months to get use to things.

 

[Mitchbones]

I have kicked players before and I will most likely do it again.

I have kicked a total of 3 players I believe. Its a lot harder when they are you close friends.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

In one group it was the DMs brother. That made for a really fun dynamic (not!). It finally came to a head and the group broke up. We started up again without the brother and with some new players a few months later.

 

[Drowbane]

I don't think I've ever been in a gaming group for any period of time where there wasn't at least one jackass I'd like to beat down.

 

[BlackMoria]

Hmm. This thread (among others) has highlighted a trend.

Namely, not dealing with the situation until the group implodes. I've seen threads over the years in which one disruptive player results in the group disbanding.

Have DMs become so uncertain of themselves, so self-concious or so afraid of real world confrontation that rather than cowboy up and call the offender onto the carpet for his behavior that they would rather ignore or tolerate the behavior to the point that the group falls apart - all because of one disruptive player?

 

[Doctor DM]

Yeah, we had to do that once. This kid was so bad, it eventually got to the point where every session it was him vs. the rest of the party. And he would always do and say the DUMBEST things. I knew we had to let him go when I (THE FREAKING DM) was cheering against him and hoping his character would die.