Things you don’t like about DMing

[Nilbog]

Remembering stuff. Sign of age I guess, but maybe also nerves, like I can remember the rules, plot details, NPC's great when I'm sat at work or wherever but come the actual session, my minds like an empty balloon

 

[TheSword]

I get you on immediate anxiety. Still.happens at cons for me sometimes (not so much "home games").

Good to hear it’s not just me. I had the same before every performance when doing amateur stage acting. It just struck me last night how much I enjoyed the session after but before was definitely anticipating calamity. I get what you mean about cons. It definitely has less impact on me when running for face to face home games for people I’ve known for decades. Though it’s still there.

 

[zakael19]

I just haven’t seen any social referee issues at all over my last many groups. We establish the frequency and day of play in session 0, figure out what we do with absent players, and go.

Probably helps that me and all my players across 5 games don’t have kids as a concern though!

 

[Artamo]

I’ll be honest - I feel exhausted after a night of DMing. It’s never gotten better in all my years running games. Like I feel like I get a headache immediately after, and I’m just kind of mentally spent.

It particularly comes after major fights. I’m much more of a storytelling GM. Managing initiative, remembering multiple monster abilities, and then remembering to turn that into an engaging “story” as it’s happening is a struggle for me. Like, I can focus on tactics and rules for battles but coming up out of that to then go back into a storytelling kind of perspective around what’s happening is not an easy shift for me. If I’m running an investigative type of game like Call of Cthulhu, I’m in my sweet spot. It’s a much more enjoyable, engaging experience for me versus D&D style combat.

 

[Cergorach]

I was going to say the social referee bit but @Deset Gled covered it. Lil surprised not to see more folks mentioning it.

But does that role need to be with the DM specifically? In our group that's something someone else is better at, so they've got that job for the last 35 years...

I’ll be honest - I feel exhausted after a night of DMing. It’s never gotten better in all my years running games. Like I feel like I get a headache immediately after, and I’m just kind of mentally spent.

A lot of us feel spent after a morning/day/night of DMing. One of our group once explained it with extroverts get energy from being around other people and with introverts it costs energy from being around people. Our group and most of my family are introverts, social interaction (playing an RPG) costs us lots of energy, be it as a player or a DM. And as a DM you're also herding multiple cats (aka. players), thus that costs additional energy, hence the exhaustion...

 

[payn]

But does that role need to be with the DM specifically? In our group that's something someone else is better at, so they've got that job for the last 35 years...

Yes, if you are using trad and neotrad styles the GM is gonna be where the buck stops. That is not to say players cant assist and I think part of being a good player is doing so.

A lot of us feel spent after a morning/day/night of DMing. One of our group once explained it with extroverts get energy from being around other people and with introverts it costs energy from being around people. Our group and most of my family are introverts, social interaction (playing an RPG) costs us lots of energy, be it as a player or a DM. And as a DM you're also herding multiple cats (aka. players), thus that costs additional energy, hence the exhaustion...

I am an extrovert, but I also get spent after a long session. I did a con game for 40 players back in Dec and I was so spent I was telling people to get away from me for an hour or two after the event. I needed some alone time to process. So, its not just introverts that get worn out by this work.

 

[Artamo]

A lot of us feel spent after a morning/day/night of DMing. One of our group once explained it with extroverts get energy from being around other people and with introverts it costs energy from being around people. Our group and most of my family are introverts, social interaction (playing an RPG) costs us lots of energy, be it as a player or a DM. And as a DM you're also herding multiple cats (aka. players), thus that costs additional energy, hence the exhaustion...

I am an extrovert, but I also get spent after a long session. I did a con game for 40 players back in Dec and I was so spent I was telling people to get away from me for an hour or two after the event. I needed some alone time to process. So, its not just introverts that get worn out by this work.

Yeah, it’s interesting - I would not call myself an introvert, or if I am, it’s one of those 50/50 things depending on my mood. I have no trouble with drawn out combats from the player’s side so it’s got to be the management aspect of the whole thing. And I totally feel that “get away from me” thing. Like, I’ve seen people want to hash over what just happened in a game after it’s over, and I’m always saying let’s do this later once I’ve had some time to collect my thoughts.

 

[thullgrim]

Player vs GM expectation mismatch. I want to run an immersive dungeon and the players all buy in up front. Three sessions in that agreement gets tossed and it’s back to beer and pretzels smash and grab.

I hate having to prep for the VTT. Tokens aren’t hard but mapping and walls sucks. These days I do the minimum. Tokens for bad guys but no character sheets. All of that is on paper in front of me. In fact I really do not like the VTT at all but it’s what I have to do run a game right now.

While I much prefer running games to playing them, sometimes I just want to play. I almost never get the opportunity. Maybe 10 sessions as a player in the last 5 years. No one else in my group will step up for longer than 2-3 sessions. Some of it is life. Some of it is excuses.

The older I get more and more I am unwilling to invest in new systems. I have 5ish games I’m comfortable running now. They handle most things. I’d make an exception for something like OSE or Mothership but they aren’t great fits for my group who prefer something more crunchy most of the time.

 

[GrimCo]

The older I get more and more I am unwilling to invest in new systems. I have 5ish games I’m comfortable running now. They handle most things. I’d make an exception for something like OSE or Mothership but they aren’t great fits for my group who prefer something more crunchy most of the time.

Feel you. I'm in the same boat. 3 games i'm willing to run: nWoD (ww one), D&D 5e and 7th sea 1st ed. I will run Mork Borg, Knave or Cairn, but my players aren't into it for anything other than short games (1-3 session tops) and for long campaigns, they prefer mid to high crunch games.

 

[zakael19]

It particularly comes after major fights. I’m much more of a storytelling GM. Managing initiative, remembering multiple monster abilities, and then remembering to turn that into an engaging “story” as it’s happening is a struggle for me. Like, I can focus on tactics and rules for battles but coming up out of that to then go back into a storytelling kind of perspective around what’s happening is not an easy shift for me. If I’m running an investigative type of game like Call of Cthulhu, I’m in my sweet spot. It’s a much more enjoyable, engaging experience for me versus D&D style combat.

Oh 100% this! I was astonished at how much my energy levels changed when I stopped running complex turn based combat systems. I almost always come off games with an elevated energy level and mental state now, no alcohol involved.