Do we really need Monkeys?

[Gomez]

I have heard that Castles and Crusades really streamlines play by removing feats, skills, and MONKEYS from the game! Is that true. I really hate the time consuming job of making stat blocks for all those monkeys in my game.

 

[Desdichado]

Complete Primate sucked. They reprinted the Vanara from OA and spent half the book on it. I wanted more pages on bonobos and chimpanzees.

I hear there's a nice new web enhancement for The Book of Erotic Fantasy on bonobos, though.

 

[Desdichado]

People, people, you're all over-complicating a very simple situation. Let me break it down for you.

1. We all know Monkeys only come from Africa.

2. My home-brewed campaign setting doesn't have a large, continent labled "Africa" in big letters, anywhere!

3. Clearly, there is no place for Monkeys in the core rules, thus their inclusion in the MM automatically corrupts my homebrewed campaign setting, and thus, all of D&Ds.

Think about it...even if I try to hide the monkey from my players, one of them might look at the Monster Manual, and during a session...say "Monkey" aloud! That would immediately destroy all sense of versimilitude, and ruin the session! What if, (gasp) someone wants to play a monkey? Or take one as an animal companion? It's horrifying!

Edit: It's been pointed out by some wise guy that my home-brew isn't played by everybody. Ok fine....take a look at the campaign maps for Eberron and FR. Do you see "Africa" anywhere? My point stands, so there!

Yeah, well what about my Rokugan campaign, huh? There are snow monkeys in Japan, and since Rokugan is clearly a fantasy Japan, I need snow monkeys. And what pseudo-European setting is complete without a pseudo-Gibralter, and Gibralter has monkeys.

 

[Piratecat]

One problem with monkeys is that the tiny ones are BROKEN -- that size adjustment just plays havoc with a normal game. In addition, we really need to distinguish between old-world and new-world monkeys. I maintain that until we get official errata assigning a +1 ECL for a prehensile tail, they're just going to stay the preferred cheese class for the veteran min-maxer.

 

[Klaus]

Of course we need them monkeys!

After wowing audiences with the LotR trilogy, Peter Jackson is making a sequel where a giant monkey kidnaps Galadriel and fights dinosaurs!!!




...or something to that effect.

 

[Desdichado]

Any time a monkey can kill a 1st level commoner more often than not, you know something's wrong.

Or was that the house cat? Can a monkey go toe to toe with a housecat?

 

[kyloss]

Why we need monkeys

Monkeys are a core part of D&D, With out Monkeys we would have no Brachiation feat, and without Brachiation the whole style and flavor of D&D is lost. Now Before you go off on monkeys dont Brachiate only the grate apes do, You must realize that you cant have Great apes without monkeys. After all without monkeys, who are the Great apes going to p[ush around. All that would be left would be the people so without monkeys you would have Gorillas Chimps and orangs rulling the world and humans and the like forced to run around all mute and in loin cloths or go underground and then they would have to deal with all the underground monsters. Besides Their called monkey bars not great ape bars for a reason you know. Of course that could all be fixed by bringing in a certain memeber of the NRA to save the world but that would introduce a whole other set of headaches, like all zombies becoming light sensitive and all.

 

[Janx]

without monkeys, how would monks get into their dojo? They'd be locked out and unable to train.

For games utilizing training rules to level up, the monk class would be under-powered and that would completely unbalance the game.

So clearly, monkeys must remain a part of the game. Plus it adds flavor, which helps alleviate the crunch factor in D&D.

Besides, pirates have parrots. Duh!

Janx

 

[FCWesel]

No Monkeys? NO monkeys? NO MONKEYS? You don't need no Stinking Monkeys?

Well, we don't need YOU, you hairless wanker!

That's it, you have now earned the ire and "boy am I not happy with you" status of the "poop list" of Le Cerulean Monkey. You got Le Cerulean Monkey in a vendetta kind of mood. You will be able to tell all the angels in human-heaven that you never saw a pissed off monkey so singularly personified as you did in the face of the monkey who killed you.

Prepare to reap, buddy, preapre to reap...

 

[TracerBullet42]

No Monkeys? NO monkeys? NO MONKEYS? You don't need no Stinking Monkeys?

Well, we don't need YOU, you hairless wanker!

That's it, you have now earned the ire and "boy am I not happy with you" status of the "poop list" of Le Cerulean Monkey. You got Le Cerulean Monkey in a vendetta kind of mood. You will be able to tell all the angels in human-heaven that you never saw a pissed off monkey so singularly personified as you did in the face of the monkey who killed you.

Prepare to reap, buddy, preapre to reap...

Aw, crap. Sounds like he's loose again.

Back in your cage, monkey!