Dopey things DM's have done.

[Shellman]

Oncw while going thropugh a dungeon, our party opens the door to a room and the DM promptly starts describing the room, then tells us "Standing in the far corner of the room are two 7th level fighters"!

We all kinda looked at him, no one said a word as we were all shaking our heads trying to make sure we heard him right.

 

[Einan]

Not in D&D, but I once had a GURPS GM say, "It's like nothing you've ever seen before!" as an entire descriptive phrase. We quizzed him, "Well, can you describe it?" "It's like nothing you've ever seen before!" he added.

This became a catch phrase in our group for when the players had no idea what the DM meant. We'd just look at each other and say, "It's like nothing you've ever seen before!"

Incidentally when we finally got him to articulate, he was describing a fish-man, who looked shockingly like the Creature from the Black Lagoon, which is perfectly describable despite looking like nothing we'd seen before. Sometimes DMs need a break to gather their adjectives.

Einan

 

[Dragonbait]

Not in D&D, but I once had a GURPS GM say, "It's like nothing you've ever seen before!" as an entire descriptive phrase. We quizzed him, "Well, can you describe it?" "It's like nothing you've ever seen before!" he added.

Say, is your GURPS GM the same as my Star Wars GM? He described an alien scientist as a "humanoid alien that you have never seen before." That's it! We had to ask him twice to describe it before he gave in and told us that it had no visible neck, a V-like mouth, and so on.

 

[WampusCat43]

Dopiest thing I do is drink beer while DMing. Besides spitting and belching, there's frequently some 'cool' little magic item that I may-or-may-not have made up on the spot that appears at next week's game. Eh, what the hell. They keep coming back.

 

[takasi]

I sometimes forget details; one bad habit is ignoring secondary saves for poison damage.

 

[sniffles]

We tease one of my GMs a lot about such a faux-pas years ago during an early adventure in his previous campaign. He was trying not to metagame too much and wasn't using class names to describe NPCs. We were fighting a group that included a guy with a quarterstaff. This NPC fumbled an attack roll and ended up hurling his staff across the room. The GM said, "The cleric ..." and then got all red in the face and said, "Er, the guy with the staff", as he realized he'd just revealed the NPC's class.

Now anytime anyone makes a similar slip of the tongue we have to bring up the "guy with the staff".

 

[Andor]

Pfft. You guys call these GM fumbles? Actual exchange from the first (and last) session of a campaign:

Us: "Okay. Now that we've captured the corrupt sherrif we interrogate him. Why on earth was he hiring bandits to attack trade to his own town?"

GM: *stunned look* "Huh. I never thought to give him a motivation."

 

[Seeten]

Rifts Campaign. GM states, "I have tons of great ideas, lets make up some characters, and we'll start it up."

We spend 4 hours making PC's, and start the adventure.

Gm says, "Ok, you are in a cave, what do you do?"

Me, "I leave the cave."

GM, "Ok, I'm out of ideas."

That was the literal end of the campaign, also, every word is listed in its entirety.

 

[Agent Oracle]

I had one who used to laugh whenever his players were taking damage. I'm pretty sure he was just an though.

 

[jbuck]

at one point (5th level party) we were sneaking up on an enemy outpost, one of th guards sees us draws his weapon and applied his DC 24 3d6 con/3d6 con poison to his blade. the fighter in the party was entirly unable to sneak so i (the lvl 5 VoP soulknife) and the roguego to sneak in and try to kill the sentry, as we walked in he steps out of the shadows and stabs me in the gut with his poisoned longsword (god forbid i should get a spot check to see him hiding in the shadows), i failed my save but the rogue (that he didn't see) killed him by stabbing him in the back. me and the rogue go back to camp, the cleric them tries to use a heal check to give me an antidote (he failed), and i fail the secondary save, then promptly die from con damage. when he asked how he justified using that poison he said that it was the npc's only good posetion and that i could have saved myself by using the amulete of heath. at which point EVERYONE reminded him that i had a Vow of Poverty.