ryard said:
we can talk about that all you want
Well, except that it's completely off topic. I'll make a quick part of my post about it, and then won't return again to this particular topic, but yes, I do consider sitting down and doing my kid's homework with him to be a violation of trust. As an English teacher, perhaps you are familiar with the "love and logic" school of child psychology? I know all the teachers in our local school district have mandatory training in it. Essentially, what you're proposing is a symptom of what's metaphorically called the "helicopter parent" because they tend to hover over their kids removing obstacles and challenges from their path to make it easier for them. Here's the quick summary:
Short term effect of what you propose:
- Child gets better homework score
Long term effect of what you propose:
- Child doesn't actually learn the material on the homework as well as if he did it himself.
- Child doesn't learn to do homework by himself.
- Child doesn't learn to take responsibility for things like homework
With my second grader, about the only thing I do is ask him if he has homework most evenings. It's
his job to do it. I'm more than willing to help if he asks and is genuinely stuck or needs help, but I'm
extremely unwilling to sit down and do his homework with him as a regular occurance. Homework is his responsibility, and if he doesn't do it, or doesn't do it well, he bears the brunt of the consequences. The basic philosophy is that you give responsibility to kids early, while the consequences are minor, and teach them to accept it and learn about consequences. If a kid screws up his homework as a second grader, the consequences are not very dire, and doing that once or twice will teach him to take responsibility for it. If you never teach your kids to do that kind on thing young, then when they're on their own, they still won't be able to handle the responsibility, and by then, the consequences of screwing up are much worse.
At least that's the theory. I've been impressed by it both from a theoretical standpoint, as well as from a practical standpoint. For that matter, when I first heard it, it verballized a lot of ideas that I already had in my head from the way I was raised, and codified them and made them more consistent and systematic. Part of the theory also states clearly that by
not demonstrating this approach, you are essentially telling your children that you don't trust them to do things on their own; that they're not capable, and that you need to step in and and supervise if you expect things to be done right.
What's this have to do with DMing? It's not entirely clear, as obviously gaming groups don't have the responsibility of raising their DMs to be responsible DMs, but I tend to embrace the philosophy on a broader scale than perhaps it was originally intended. And I do see your system as being an issue of trust between players and DMs; you've said multiple times that you don't trust your DM to not make mistakes without everything being out in the open and everyone knowing exactly what's going on.
Besides the trust issue, it's probably a gaming taste issue. For me, and for a lot of folks here as well, I'd imagine, metagaming is undesirable. In the ideal world, I wouldn't even know what's on my character sheet; I'd play my character without an intimate knowledge of the numbers that go on behind the scenes and all that. However, such an ideal world is a workload strain that I wouldn't want to put on any DM, so I accept a level of metagaming that is consistent with me knowing the behind the scenes workings of my character. I do not, however, accept that I should know the behind the scenes workings of any other character, monster, anatagonist or ally in the game. Furthermore, I'd submit that that was clearly the intention of EGG back when the game was first created. EGG was a fan of surprises, of letting players figure things out by coming across things they didn't already know the answer to. In addition, that's the whole, entire and only reason for the invention of the DM's Screen, so that players
cannot see the behind the scene's workings of what the DM is doing.
Clearly you do not play that way. I have yet to get a clear understanding of how it is you actually do play, but you've made it pretty clear how you don't. In your group, everyone is familiar with all the potential rules in play, both DM and player, and you expose the inner workings of the game itself to scrutiny as you play. See, to me that game is a means to an end, not an end in and of itself. I enjoy the stories that result from the game, and the game is the tool that gets me there. To me, the way you play is distasteful, because it makes the game the end in and of itself, which I don't find very fun. But hey, I'm not telling you to play the way I do, so if you enjoy it, that's fine.
My ideal gaming environment (which, fortunately, matches my actual gaming environment fairly well) is that DMs (we all like to take a turn behind the screen) propose setting and gaming alternatives to the group, and the group decides what they want to play; what type of game, what type of themes and tones, etc., but we leave it up to the DM to craft the details of that game. We're fairly open on allowing rules, because we know that none of us are gamists who want to "optimize" players to be better than anyone else. Fundamentally, though, it's the DMs job and responsibility to decide what to allow, what challenges to give the players, how to handle the game, and to craft a game that we all find fun.
That still doesn't answer the peculiar questions that have cropped up as a result of this, though. For instance, if you play the way you say you do, why do you want to allow Dragon magazine material, regardless of whether or not it's official? What value does official have, anyhow? Your decision on what rules to use seems arbitrary, and there seems to be disagreement in your group (this is based in large part on greymarch's posts on the Wizards boards). And why do you (plural) assume that official rules are better than unofficial rules? (again, taken from multiple posts of greymarch's on the Wizards boards as well as here.)