Jack99
Adventurer
The dumbest "Sage advice" questions , according to WoTC:
Let me be perfectly honest. I love this column. It only happens once a year, but I have a great time combing through all of the Ask Wizards emails and setting aside the odd, the perplexing, and the truly bizarre questions to ponder. And ponder them I do (especially those questions on golems, undead, and things being operated or used in strange and frightfully creative ways).
Last year, we presented our first set of Ask Wizards Stumpers, and challenged our readers to come up with their best possible answers. You rose to that challenge (with your answers here)—and this year we present you with our second set of stumpers!
Dare you take on the task of answering any (or, gulp, all) of the following questions? You should be aware that Ask Wizards submissions have recently been redirected to our knowledgeable Knowledge Base. But if you wish to provide answers to any of the questions below, kindly send them to askdnd@wizards.com. We’ll then post your answers at a later date.
Good luck, and may you succeed in your saving throw vs. confusion.
Ninja vs. Pirate…. vs. the Rules
1. Baaxe asks, a rogue with Disable Device can deactivate and/or bypass traps with magical components. Could he use the same skill (given the time and chance) on certain types of golems, since their bodies are constructed and then animated? Would it be possible to disassemble part of the golem; for instance, remove a leg so it can’t walk? (Similar to the question of 02/23/2007.)
2. Guy asks, I think there is no rule about the DC to find an antidote vs. poison created by an assassin. Example: An assassin creates a poison of DC 25; what is the DC to find an antidote? I suppose the same so DC 25? I'm right or wrong!
3. Mike asks, Is there a feat a ninja or rouge can take that will allow them to sneak attack undead or constructs? (I imagine if there was, I would need at least one or more levels in cleric?)
4. Prescott asks, OK, first of all, I know I spelled knifes wrong. I’m a bad speller. Can I use my ring of x-ray vision to help me use a sneak attack in pitch black darkness?
5. Stewart asks, I'm running a pirate-themed game, and one member of the party has a few ranks of sorcerer. Running out of battle spells and thinking on her feet, she cast mage hand on a thimble, and wanted to direct it with all five pounds of pressure mage hand allows into an enemy's eye, which she said would be enough to do some damage. Now, this is a pirate game after all, so her ingenuity did nothing but bring joy to this DM's heart. I had her roll a ranged touch attack, she passed it, and the thimble did its gruesome work. But now I've been thinking, “If this is so easy, why isn't everyone doing it?” Thus, I turn to you. Can you use mage hand this way?
6. Stephen asks, Could a ninja use his Ghost Walk (ethereal) ability to shift onto the astral plane and then put on a pair of dimensional shackles to stay there for the duration of a fight? If so, how would he get back?
7. K.T. asks, How can a rogue/cleric defeat a bard assassin? His spells seem better than mine.
Knowledge (the bizarre)
8. Peter asks, I am running a campaign that is based out of Scornubel. In a previous edition, a shop called “Thyumdaqr’s Reliquary & Eremosckh” is listed as a general store. I know what a "reliquary" is, but I'm stumped as to an eremosckh. I have tried to convince my co-writer for this campaign that this is a place that fronts as a general store but has a sideline pitching the divine and profane. So, does “eremosckh” refer to the profane?
9. Tim asks, What is alchemist’s fire made of? Is it some kind of low-grade sovereign glue with hydrogen inside, or something else? A player asked me this and it blew my mind so bad I couldn’t really think of anything to make up. And what about acid so powerful it can eat through iron locks and skin alike, but is easily contained in convenient travel-vial?
10. Ruben asks, Being the elf that I am, I have made many a bad-ass elven archmage that has been searching Faerun for the location of two artifacts... always to no avail. I was wondering if anyone knows the location of either (a) the Highfire Crown, or (b) the Arcstaff of Khovaerm?
Time Stop the Madness!
11. Luke asks, (a) Assuming you had the ability to cast a 15th level spell, could you cast a persistent time stop? (b) If you can use a persistent time stop, provided you have enough experience, could you build an army of golems to take over the world during this time stop and its duration? (c) My last question is, what happens when two spell casters cast time stop at the exact same time?
12. Andre asks, Several friends and I are having a discussion about casting time stop in a time stop. Can you do it, and will it have any effect?
Lycanthropes, Liches, and Clones (plus Lycanthrope and Clone Liches!)
13. Christopher asks, If I have been infected with vampirism and I don't want to be, will I be able to remove vampirism by being killed and having my soul transferred with the clone spell, or will the vampirism transfer with me?
14. James asks, After reading the description for the dread necromancer in Heroes of Horror, and seeing that upon reaching the 20th level the character becomes a lich, I was curious to find out what would happen if say a werewolf, reached that level. Would they become a lich, and if so would they retain their lycanthropic abilities?
15. Jimmy asks, What happens to a stasis clone of a PC that decides to become a lich?
16. Jeremy asks, Could magic jar be used to possess a clone (without a soul inside)?
17. Daniel asks, According to the Eberron Campaign Setting, living constructs, unlike a normal construct, is not immune to necromancy effects. If that is the case, could a warforged be reanimated as an undead? The idea of warforged zombies or skeletons is a little odd. (Not that a warforged lich wouldn't be an interesting opponent.)
On the Nature of Evil
18. Pedro asks, Why does a mindless undead have an evil morality, and a mindless golem and constructs are neutral?
19. Kyle asks, I have a rather strange question for you. I have just started running a campaign with a few people new to the game. One of our new players wants his half-orc to eat other people, and does not believe that this makes him a cannibal as long as he does not eat other half-orcs. He further insists that if he is otherwise benevolent in his actions, he should not be considered evil. I have insisted that consciously eating sentient beings makes him evil regardless, but he will not let it rest until we have an official answer. Thank for wasting time responding to this rather absurd question.
Dire Animal Planet
20. Alex asks, What are the effects of eating a violet fungus, or how bout a shrieker mushroom?
21. William asks, A wizard in our group came up with an interesting cantrip, spice. This spell flavors any bland object so that it is easy to eat. This leads to very strange situations involving purify spells. So, my questions arise from this: (a) Are myconoids edible mushrooms if prepared properly? (b) What about oozes? (He tried drinking a potion to negate paralysis, purified, spiced, then attempted to eat a gelatinous cube. And yes, my party is a strange one at times…)
22. Scott asks, If an undead could become a druid, how would wild empathy and wild shape work? Would animals run away because the druid is now dead? Would the druid in fact, turn into an undead version of said animal/elemental, or gain Constitution and other lifeborn abilities?
23. Josh asks, I'd like to know how to go about creating an animal not listed in the Monster Manual, specifically the mighty (pause for effect) platypus. How do you create animals that are non-standard? What Hit Die would it have? And how would you make it dire or legendary? Thanks, and my ninja/druid kikuchiro thanks you, too.
I, Golem
24. Daniel asks, Last week my characters were trying to infiltrate a wizard’s tower and found a big stone golem guarding a room. The party rouge has very high Hide, Move Silently, and Bluff skills, and a good collection of invisibility potions. The golem has orders to kill any person who enters the room except its master and other tower guards. Seeing invisibility is not a golem trait, and most constructs don’t have any skills in Spot or Listen. Also if a character has very high skills in disguise with some magical help, could they impersonate the golem’s master? Could they fool the golem and walk past it, or even give it orders? Or do constructs somehow automatically know their masters? The ultimate question here is, what are constructs senses like?
25. Carter asks, Can I create a golem in any shape (within reason) and have it retain the same general abilities of what it was modeled after? For example, can I create a wood golem shaped like an animal that can fly as a mount, or a tin golem shaped like a shark and have it swim like a submarine?
26. Jack asks, Let’s say an overly creative druid or cleric makes a stone golem body via a stone shape spell and then uses meld into stone to step inside his creation. Would he be able to “pilot” the golem and what effect would it have?
27. Eric asks, I am looking for official confirmation on the effects of the death of a psicrystal. Any steps necessary to gain a new crystal?
And Finally, Those That Defy Category!
28. Nick asks, Our party’s fighter had pinned an enemy to the ground and wanted to know what he was able to do. We found the page in the PHB (p156) and started looking at options. One of the options was to use the enemy’s weapon against himself. Since both characters were unarmed, the DM jokingly grabbed the fighter’s arm and made him slap himself, saying, “Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!” The scout then asked the question. Let’s say somebody pinned a level 12 monk, then made said monk start punching himself… would the monk’s fist do the full 2d6 damage to himself, or would it be treated as if it was an ordinary unarmed attack?
29. Cody asks, I was wondering something. You know how the blue dragons have create/destroy water, right? Which can destroy potions and whatnot. The question is, can create/destroy water be used on humanoid characters to either flood their lungs or destroy all the water in their system?
20. Jon asks, What steps is Wizards of the Coast taking to help promote D&D to gelatinous cube gamers?
