D&D 5E Dungeon room description

[Gilladian]

One thing I noticed is some vagueness in your description. For example, is the head a real head? Is it nailed to the door? Or is it a wooden carving hung on the door? Or carved stone part of the door? This can be critical to how the DM describes the room. Also, every room needs to be done in the SAME way. If you give a size description, always give it in the same way for each room.

 

[Eyes of Nine]

Also need information on light in the room.

 

[Eltab]

The more description of a room, the more important it should be. And vice versa.
The guards' coat closet can be short, nothing here but some coats on hangers. The room where Boss Villain will be found - whether an animal's den or a dragon's lair or a Mastermind's relax room or a Mad Scientist's laboratory - should have enough details that PCs 'can see it with their mind's eye' and have gear, equipment, &c to interact with, so PCs can do more than "I move up and hit him with my sword."

 

[Quickleaf]

Shrine of Orcus
This is the room where Cinna performs the heart implant rituals. The door has a rotting, female, elven head that speaks. The room itself is small and barren, with only an altar dedicated to Orcus with an enormous, desecrated, black and rotting goat head in the center . It has a terrible atmosphere for non evils and exhilirating for evils. There are some bone fragments and a skull on the floor.

DM Notes:

• Door with talking head
  • Stone door. No locks.
  • Animated, wrinkled, female elven head on the door.
  • She is the guardian of the shrine.
  • She speaks elven and abbysal.
  • She can utter the spell Symbol (PHB p.280, WIS DC 20) every round until she is destroyed.
    She cannot use the same symbol twice in a row. She is very clever and chooses targets appropriately.
    E.g.: she uses Insanity against fighting men, Discord, Pain against casters etc.
  • She has 200 Hit Points, AC: 20, Immune to spells.
• Atmosphere
  • Evils act with advantage for every roll.
  • Goods act with disadvantage for every roll.
• Bone fragments and skull
  • Old, possibly humanoid bone fragments and a skull in the corner.
  • This is Ennio Cinna. A Demilich (MM p.48).
  • He is guardian of the chamber and this is his home.
  • He speaks through Drusus, his Imp familiar (MM p.76).
• Altar dedicated to Orcus
  • A black, bloody stone slab that acts as a sacrificial table.
  • It also acts as sarcophagy and Cinna resurrect here if not destroyed properly.
  • A big, black rotting goat head acting as the symbol of Orcus.
  • Anyone spending 1 round in the vicinity (20') got a random Confusion (PHB p.224, WIS DC20).

There's no single right way to do this. A few observations:

• You actually have 2 distinct encounter areas: The Door with the elven head nailed (?) to it & the Shrine of Orcus. I would give each its own area description.
• The Door seems to assume (a) that the elven head automatically notices the PCs even if they're invisible and sneaking, and (b) that once it becomes aware of the PCs it immediately becomes hostile and attacks. Both of those assumptions, from my perspective, are flaws because they steer away from creative out-of-the-box solutions and kind of force it towards a combat encounter. For instance who is this head? What is/was her name? How'd this elf end up animated and bound to this door? If it was done against her will, shouldn't she be a potential ally against the cult of Orcus? You also make note of her languages... but then don't give her any talking points / information to convey to the PCs / questions to ask the PCs.
• With the Shrine of Orcus, you fall into a bit of a trap that many modules do with their boxed text – you wait until close to the end to mention the monsters. In rare cases, you can get away with it if the monster is not the center piece of the encounter, but just part of the backdrop. Also, if it's a monster with, say, the False Appearance trait or a hidden monster, you can not mention it at all (or reserve mention of it if the PCs have sufficiently high Perception). However, a demilich doesn't usually hide nor does it have False Appearance – i.e. it's clearly more than just a "skull." It's OK to add additional traits and mess around with those assumptions sometimes, but in this case I recommend you don't do that. A demilich is a legendary monster. Its presence should be in big bold letters right at the beginning of the area description for the Shrine of Orcus!
• The magical environmental effects you have listed under "Atmosphere" are something I'd recommend against. But YMMV.
• Also "fighting men" is... how do I say this... 70's era terminology. It's no longer considered politically correct, particularly if you're publishing for modern 5e D&D (and not, say, a niche OSR product).

 

[Libramarian]

I think your standard template should be three sections:
1) First impressions (including hostile creatures in the room, if any)
2) Notes for handling how the players can interact with things or examine them in detail
3) Supplemental information for the DM

This follows the natural rhythm for running a dungeon room:

• The PCs enter, receive first impressions
• As the PCs decide what to do, the DM absorbs the second paragraph
• The players interact with the room, which the DM can handle seamlessly because they read the notes for interaction while the players were digesting the first impressions

 

[GMMichael]

A great suggestion I read once was that room descriptions should be no longer than two sentences. I think that's a good rule of thumb.

...no longer than two sentences when the PCs first enter it. Of course, there should be more description available to the GM, so that the PCs can explore/discover more through role-playing (and the GM can better understand the designer 's intent).

Check out Eamon Online - it 's a copy of the old Eamon game that nailed room-description-shorthand: room name, short description, list of exits, list of contents and creatures. Players had to ask questions and do things to learn more.

 

[Eyes of Nine]

I think your standard template should be three sections:
1) First impressions (including hostile creatures in the room, if any)
2) Notes for handling how the players can interact with things or examine them in detail
3) Supplemental information for the DM

This follows the natural rhythm for running a dungeon room:

• The PCs enter, receive first impressions
• As the PCs decide what to do, the DM absorbs the second paragraph
• The players interact with the room, which the DM can handle seamlessly because they read the notes for interaction while the players were digesting the first impressions

Another thing I like is the "Development" part that 4e and 5e adventures have (not sure if they were in 3e). That's basically what happens if the PCs do this one thing or do nothing. I don't think all rooms/encounters require it; but I think they are useful.

 

[Lanefan]

Another thing I like is the "Development" part that 4e and 5e adventures have (not sure if they were in 3e). That's basically what happens if the PCs do this one thing or do nothing. I don't think all rooms/encounters require it; but I think they are useful.

I found this a hindrance, in fact, as it either a) tended to push me towards pushing the PCs to do whatever it was the Development was written for (which I then had to fight against), or b) left me high and dry when the PCs did something entirely unexpected because under Development I'm expecting the module to provide the next step and there isn't one.

 

[Mistwell]

I would ask @MerricB since he's read a metric crapton of these and can probably provide solid advice on best formatting practices.

 

[oriaxx77]

I dig the quick formatting. I might add that if there's anything that the PCs might talk to, adding some quick personality and goals information would be useful.

One thing I want out of dungeon crawls is descriptions that help give the PCs some context in deciding where they go. Too often, one direction appears to be the same as the other. So parties arbitrarily have to decide, and just come up with things like always going north, or just taking right turns. As a DM, I like to give them information like "to the west is a door with an old elven woman's head on it, to the east there's an earthen smell, and to the north you feel the temperature rising."

I usually use the map at actual play to indicate the directions, doors etc. I always look at the map and the players usually have their own map so it is pretty obvious most of the time. But observation noted. Thank you Sir!