Edena_of_Neith's silly spells (always being updated)

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Another spell:

Scrambled Resurrections with Bacon and Toast

Level: Wizard 7, Sorcerer 7
Range: Short
Area: One person capable of resurrections via spells or magical devices
Casting Time: 1 full round
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Until dispelled or it goes off (then see below)
Saving Throw: Will Negates
Spell Resistance: Yes and Special

This spell is normally employed by highly chaotic wizards with a tendency towards practical jokes. More rarely, it is employed by other wizards seeking random insights concerning a situation that is irking them (or threatening them.)
The Powers of Chaos usually support and protect those wizards audacious enough to use this spell against assorted angry dieties and their angry minions, when they seek punishment against the wizards in question.
A lawful wizard who uses this spell, does so at considerable risk (if he is a lawful cleric as well, he would do well to have a good aligned and highly understanding, patient, and caring diety to answer to.)

Upon casting this spell, the wizard selects a priest capable of resurrections or any variant thereof, or any character with a Rod of Resurrection or similar device.
The target is entitled to a Will Save against the spell, and if made the spell has no effect.
If the target fails the save, he - and every resurrection device (in the broadest sense of that term) are imbued with a contingency magic which goes off on his next resurrection attempt.

When the target attempts to resurrect someone fallen, resurrection proceeds as per normal, with all normal chances and problems. (If for some reason the normal resurrection fails, this spell also fails.)

In addition to bringing back the soul of the fallen, this spell brings back a second soul, and imbues it within the body of the resurrected, so that he or she now has two souls.
This spell automatically summons the second soul; the second soul may not refuse the summons.
This spell magically strengthens the body of the resurrected so that it may contain two souls simultaneously and not be harmed by said containment. Also, this spell protects the mind of the resurrected, so that no insanity or other mental damage occurs from the double hosting of souls.
Likewise, this spell protects the mentality of the second soul, so that no injury comes to that being.
Neither soul is harmed by their joint occupation of one body.
(The point of this spell is to be annoyingly, unethically, and criminally chaotic, not to actually cause harm to an innocent soul or spirit, or to the resurrected.)

The resurrected being now has two separate and distinct people occupying his body.
As a result, he now has two distinct people vying for control of his body and mind ... which is of course an impossible situation, since there is only one body to control at once.
The magic of the spell forces the two beings to compromise.
For any given period of time agreed upon by both beings, one of those beings controls the body, talks through the mouth, feels through the senses, and uses the mind to think normally, while the other being stands by (as it were) and observes the goings on.
This period ranges from a minimum of 1 round to a maximum of 10 rounds. Never more, and never less. Usually, 2 or 3 rounds is the agreed upon solution, and resolution of this issue always occurs within a few minutes of resurrection and the intrusion of the second soul via this spell.
When one being is in control, that being may use all it's levels, abilities, skills, feats, spells, extraordinary powers, supernatural powers, and innate magical powers, unless the body in question could not use them itself.
Physical damage accrued while one being is running things, remains when the other person takes control.

This back and forth see-sawing of control continues until certain secret conditions are met (nobody ever knows what the secret condition is, until it actually occurs. A Commune spell might be helpful here, especially if it is to a lawful diety.)
Here are possible secret conditions:

The being, goes into reverie.
The being, falls asleep.
The two beings are having an argument over philosophy, and they resolve it in agreement.
Both beings decide they love someone in the adventuring party, or that someone in the adventuring party is worth being loved.
Both beings cooperate to slay a powerful opponent mutual to them both and to the adventuring party.

The secret condition is always benign. It always involves something positive, peaceful, or constructive. Only one secret condition exists, of the DM's choice, and once met, the spell ends and the second soul returns to the Afterlife.

This spell always summons a soul of generally the same alignment or close to the same alignment, as that of the resurrected.
If the resurrected is lawful good, the second being will be lawful neutral, neutral good, or lawful good. A neutral character will summon someone of neutral good, lawful neutral, chaotic neutral, neutral evil, or neutral - but if the neutral has a good bent or tendency, a neutral evil will never be summoned, and vice versa. So with the law and chaos aspects given.

The soul or spirit of the second being will generally be of the same race as that of the first being.
If the resurrected is a gold elf, the second being will be a moon elf, green elf, or wood elf.
If the resurrected being is a shield dwarf, the second being will be a shield dwarf or a gold dwarf.
If the resurrected being is an orc, the second being will be an fallen orc from the same tribe (orcs consider orcs of other tribes to be - effectively - of another (enemy) race.)
If the resurrected being was a good aligned drow, the second being will also be a good aligned drow.
If the resurrected being was an Aasimmon, the second being will be an Aasimmon also, but probably an aasimmon derived from a different kind of Celestial Being (eladrin versus deva, for example.)
If the resurrected was a genasi, the second being will also be a genasi, with a different element being represented, but never the opposing element (a fire genasi will never summon the soul of a water genasi to occupy the same body.)

If Speak With Dead is thrown upon the target after this spell has taken effect, the Speak With Dead will be altered, and it will last indefinitely, granting the second soul the ability to independently communicate (via telepathy) with all present, until the second soul departs when the secret condition is met.
If any kind of Resurrection spell is thrown upon the target after this spell has taken effect, it will raise the second being (the body of the first being will count as the necessary remains for this purpose.) The second soul may refuse the resurrection as usual, and the usual problems of resurrection occur.
A successful Dispel Magic will allow the second soul to return to the Afterlife, but any given spellcaster can try this only once.

This spell can cause very benign effects, such as allowing the original target the insights and aid of the second being, who may well be 10 levels or more above the original's level, and have powers the original could not hope for.
This spell could also cause real chaos, as the two beings argue about what should be done, and take different actions as each successively controls the host body.
Unfortunately, this spell can also cause severe tragedy, if the two beings cannot agree on a given issue, and come to blows with each other or others over the matter.

There is no reason at all that anyone need suspect that this spell has ever been cast, IF the two beings - upon initial contact within the one body - decide to make a compact to keep the matter a secret.
In this case, the responsibility falls upon the player of the original character to roleplay the second character as well, within the spirit of that character. If the player cannot do this and keep the secret (that is, if his roleplaying gives away that something is amiss) that is his burden to carry.
If the player cannot handle roleplaying the second character properly, the DM assumes control - and the DM must attempt to keep the secret intact (everyone is going to know OOC that SOMETHING is amiss, but exactly WHAT that something is, could be quite a mystery to the players!)

IF the wizard has access to a Limited Wish or more powerful spell, and throws it in conjunction with this spell, and if two or more members of the adventuring party have been killed, this spell can be used to bring one of the adventurers back, and the soul of one of the others.
In this case, each player has control while their character has control. What happens, whether the two characters agree or not agree, and whether actions are cooperative or confounding, are up to them.
Also, both players may decide to make the compact of secrecy (in which case, one player plays both characters, while the second player sits back and watches for the duration.)

Both characters must be within one alignmental step of each other (lawful good to neutral good or lawful neutral, neutral to neutral good or neutral evil, etc.), but they may be of different races, maintain different ethics, have different motivations and different goals, and otherwise be quite apart from each other.
Both characters MUST have adventured together for at least five or six gaming sessions, for the effect to work. Otherwise, the bonding necessary for the exception to the spell's dictates (see below) simply will not have formed.
If the two characters are enemies of each other, the spell and the Limited Wish will both fail. If they are strongly opposed to each other in some life and death manner, the spell has a good chance (50%) of failure. (Life and death: I wish to kill that person. No, I wish to save that person.) This is true in spite of any Bonding.

Limited Wish and other spells cannot further modify this spell.
This spell cannot be modified so that the second soul is an enemy of the first, or alignmentally opposed, racially opposed, ethically opposed, or opposed in motivations and goals.
This spell simply was not created for that purpose, and it cannot function in that way.
 
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