Janx, you mentioned playing this game with your wife; do you play at the same time, using the same screen? If so, how do you do that? Does it just require two controllers or do you have to network two Xbox's? Is it one of those Xbox Live Gold things?
we have to take turns. Sadly, it's a 1 player game. She plays a lot. She really likes elder scrolls.
I'm glad you've given it a second chance, some extra tidbits of knowledge:
followers return home if you tell them to wait here for too long. Home being wherever they hang out, not your actual house.
each follower has a different max level (basically they match your level, until they cap out). There's a kajit wizard in the college of magic who's max is the very max of 80-something. Plus, as a caster, he is less likely to run in front of you.
followers are supposed to be flagged as semi-essential, so they would only die if YOU kill them. that seems to be broke, and they can die quite handily on their own (as well as rushing in front of you to get whacked in the back).
PErsonally, I like to work alone. My wife almost always brings a follower, she's just careful about how she uses them in combat.