ENWorld-Appropriate Dating Question

[Hand of Evil]

My inclination was to make an overture to do something socially that was unambiguously (a) a date and (b) not associated with the player-GM dynamic. I'm not trying to avoid rejection here so much as damage to the game.

Anyway, thanks for the advice so far. Any help I can get procrastinating on my Simon Magus paper is much appreciated.

That was something I thought about too, it is 'movie' season, so, ask her if she would like to catch one...

never pass up a chance for romance.

 

[Darmanicus]

Beyond that, I would say go with Hand of Evil's advice. Be casual about it so you on't end up screwing the entire group.

Geez man, steady on, he was only asking about the girl!

 

[Henry]

Hand of Evil gives the kind of advice I'd give: A no-pressure "let's do lunch" type of thing - you can tailor what the social gathering is based on your current interests and hobbies. It could be lunch, help me buy a present for so-and-so, Let's catch a movie, etc. If she expresses no interest, blow it off and suggest maybe later. You should be able to tell if she's interested in being sociable; past that, it's up to you.

 

[Belen]

You really need to do something outside of gaming. I would try and group activity first. Get some friends together to see a movie, cook a dinner for friends at your house and ask if she'd like to come, go out to a flick. This way, you can socialize with her outside of the gaming circle and in an environment where she might not feel so uncomfortable.

She needs to make a connection with you other than GM/player. After all, as the GM you are in a position of authority over her. You do not want her to feel obligated to go out with you because she enjoys your game, so you need to become something more/other than just a GM.

You can also e-mail her about a book that you enjoy that she may like. Make a recommendation or see if you have some common interests and can talk about books etc.

You're in a difficult situation especially because your social environment is the gaming table. You need to move it away from the table.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

Geez man, steady on, he was only asking about the girl!

Poor choice of phrasing...

 

[Darmanicus]

I would try group activity first.

Not you as well!!!

Look man, he's asking for advice re the girl, group stuff can come later.

 

[Belen]

Not you as well!!!

Look man, he's asking for advice re the girl, group stuff can come later.

You're right. he should try a group activity with her friends' instead.

 

[GentleGiant]

I can't tell. Basically, I am a pretty socially perceptive person in most situations -- until it pertains directly to me. Then I turn into a complete moron.

If anyone finds a cure for this disease, I'm going to be first in line...
Oh how annoying that is... sigh

 

[Crothian]

Since you run the group, you should have contact informaiton for everyone just in case you need to get in contact wityh them about a canceled session or something like. Call her on non gaming day and just talk to her.

 

[fusangite]

Since you run the group, you should have contact informaiton for everyone just in case you need to get in contact wityh them about a canceled session or something like. Call her on non gaming day and just talk to her.

I actually don't have phone contact info for all the people in the game because all game-related contacting is done by e-mail.

EDIT: Scratch that. Her number is one of the ones I have.