Ever had a Player Threaten you Like This?

[Iku Rex]

I'm afraid I'll have to correct you on that one, Iku Rex. It was a regular ultimatum, blackmail and all that.

Could you be a bit more specific about your "correction"? What is it you consider "hostile", "threatening" "blackmail"?

Stating clearly and honestly what one wants from a game?
Having different opinions than you on what's important?
What?

I'm not hyper-sensitive, but when players make completely unreasonable demands like that, you can only be extremely tempted to kick them out.

No, if you don't think it's a reasonable demand the reasonable course of action is not to give in to it. DMs do it all the time. It's part of the job. ("No, you can't make a permanent true strike item! Stop bugging me.")

In that case you don't have "kick out" anyone - if she was telling the truth (which from what you're saying she wasn't, for whatever reason, but that's another matter entirely) she'll then quit.

"Kinking someone out" for telling you that they're not enjoying your game, or don't expect to enjoy your game in the future (unless you change/agree to something) doesn't make sense. Once you've been dumped, even conditionally, trying to "counterdump" the other party to save face is just going to make you look silly.

 

[MadMaxim]

Could you be a bit more specific about your "correction"? What is it you consider "hostile", "threatening" "blackmail"?

Stating clearly and honestly what one wants from a game?
Having different opinions than you on what's important?
What?

She threatened to quit the game, if I didn't give her enough XP to go up a level and get up next to the other 8th-level party members (which she shouldn't, because nobody received a huge amount of XP during the sessions that she was absent). I consider that regular blackmailing.

I don't have any problems with players stating their wishes about the game, but when they come and directly demand something from me that they shouldn't have, I put my foot down and tell them that it's not going to happen. So far I haven't had any problems of this kind. The other players are enjoying the game and I do encourage the players to tell me their opinions, because I want the game to be fun for everyone. Wishes are one thing, demands are somehting else entirely.

No, if you don't think it's a reasonable demand the reasonable course of action is not to give in to it. DMs do it all the time. It's part of the job. ("No, you can't make a permanent true strike item! Stop bugging me.")

In that case you don't have "kick out" anyone - if she was telling the truth (which from what you're saying she wasn't, for whatever reason, but that's another matter entirely) she'll then quit.

"Kinking someone out" for telling you that they're not enjoying your game, or don't expect to enjoy your game in the future (unless you change/agree to something) doesn't make sense. Once you've been dumped, even conditionally, trying to "counterdump" the other party to save face is just going to make you look silly.

I only said that I was tempted to kick her out because of the ultimatum. As I stated earlier, I care about what my players think about the game, but when demands are thrown on the table out of thin air instead of mentioning that I may have forgot to hand out some XP I don't really think you can blame me for thinking: "What the heck is she trying to pull off here!?"

 

[Buttercup]

"Gimmee XP or I leave", isn't a snappy remark, it's blackmail, nor is it reasonable, given the circumstances. I play with my friends, too. None of them would pull that on me.

Yeah. This sort of behavior is amazing to me. If one of my players (who are also my friends) jumped on me like that, my first reaction would be, "wow, something must be really wrong...want to talk?" If the person weren't a friend, then I don't suppose I'd bother asking that, I'd just tell them that ultimatims don't fly with me, so here's the XP and don't ever mouth off that way again or you're out.

 

[jasper]

1. I would reply are you haveing a bad day. If that does wake her up, sorry I been gaming too long to deal with problem players anymore. So
Yes I had players use various forms of blackmail to get what they want.
Yes I had players get verbally and physically abusive.
Yes I had players steal items from my collection.
Yes I let some of the goobers play. Now since computers have gotten better and I threw off my addiction to the game. I don't allow it.

 

[Charwoman Gene]

It's amazing how many people seem to be willing to kick someone to curb for one snappy remark.

Lots of people seem to like pretending to be a fascist about their behavior, as if it makes them cool or something.

 

[Charwoman Gene]

I would have offered 3/4 xp for the sessions missed as the GM was supposed to play the PC. That is if I realized before the ultimatum.

 

[Henry]

I think it was handled quite well; I expect people to have bad days now and again, and I'll try to work it out with them before I give them the boot. ESPECIALLY if they're friends.

As an aside, I NEVER run other players' characters while they're gone; they have the option of asking someone else to run the character, and that's about it. I have too much to do already to properly play someone's PC. If possible, we just leave them at home base and deal with level issues later.

 

[SBMC]

#1 is possible. She sits around doing nothing all day and I've been asking her if it wasn't about time she got into something like an education or just getting a job (I asked what to do about it in the off-topic thread about a month ago, and yes, it is the exact same girl I'm talking about here).
#2 is highly unlikely, though her boyfriend has of course told her about how the sessions went, but I don't think he'd say that she was missing out on XP.
#3 is also highly unlikely, but I can't be a hundred percent sure, of course. However, she is usually the one that feels like playing once a week is too little, probably because she has nothing to do any other time.
#4 could also be possible. As I've stated before, she can be somewhat childish at times and she can behave like a real b****, though I believe that's just a matter of her not being able to see who's in charge (that would be me). She gets her way with her boyfriend and may be that she doesn't know that she can't pull me around like she can with him.

I did not see that previous thread...though now I'll look for it! I have no idea how anyone could do nothing all day...literally...

---------------------------
To all ye who state that ye shall expunge or penalize said transgressor:

Do the players work for you? Are you their boss? Did these words actually cause noticeable harm to the game or other players thusfar?

If not then how, after a single transgression, would you "punish" them?

The issue is that the player was out of line on a personal level - given the game is personal - not professional.

 

[lukelightning]

I give absent players full XP for overcoming monsters, but since I award a fair amount of roleplaying xp and situations which rely on decision making, they lose out on that; I think around 25% of the xp depending on what happened in that session.

Wow, you give absent players 1/2 exp? For my table, if you miss a session, you get nothing. Of course, if the rest of the PCs feel like sharing treasure with you, that is their perogative.

 

[SBMC]

...I NEVER run other players' characters while they're gone; they have the option of asking someone else to run the character, and that's about it. I have too much to do already to properly play someone's PC. If possible, we just leave them at home base and deal with level issues later.

Excellent point! In my game we make up some reason why the PC is not there; they went back to get an item, guarding the entance or horses...simply vanished (to make an additional sub-plot) . They get no XP and no treasure. If they fall behind...then they need to show up. We don't beleive in allowing the whole party to suffer for one player. We also don't beleive in rewarding a player for doing nothing.

After a while when their PC gets pasted do to the higher EL's...they'll smarten up.