Ever weirded yourself out?

[der_kluge]

Ok, so I'm sitting here at work, working on a HARP game which I intend to run at the NC game day, and the MD/VA/DC game day. And I just gave myself a shiver. Not because I'm so clever, or anything like that. But, because I just freaked myself out how absolutely disgustingly evil I can be when I put my mind to it. No, this isn't rat-bastard DM evil, this is "dude, that is Clive Barker disgusting" and I just totally disgusted and weirded myself out at the same time.


So, have you ever done something so heinous, or disgusting, or just freakishly evil in a game that made you cringe at the levels of depravity that you were capable of?


And just for the curious, I'll post what it was that I put into my module that made me shiver:
People playing in that game can read it if they want, it won't really reveal anything about the game that you won't learn shortly into it anyway: (spoiler for the faint of heart)

Spoiler

A glassblower kills himself by ingesting molten glass. And the idea of the glass burning the insides of his mouth and esophagus and then congealing in his stomach just totally repulsed me.

 

[Crothian]

okay, why would he do that?

We ran an evil campaign a few years back. Everyone relaly wanted to do it excpet me. I finally gave in and as it tutrned out I was willing to much more evil then everyone else. I had a Bard and so I was socialible and controling evil and not kill everyone evil like the rest of the party. He did some nasty things to NPCs and it was just too much, I took it too far and really wish I hadn't. Creeped myself and disghusted myself a few times, but the rest of the people wanted evil so I delievered.

 

[the Jester]

Sure have.

But I have a healthy understanding of the difference between the 'real me' and the 'roleplayed character.'

Just think what it must be like to be Anthony Hopkins playing Hannibal Lector.

 

[der_kluge]

okay, why would he do that?

I can PM you if you really want to know.

 

[Impeesa]

I know I'm a bit weirded out by all the things I've talked about that haven't disturbed me at all (and probably should have). As an example, the phrase "grappling fetus" came up during an old Robotech game, and we'll leave it at that.

--Impeesa--

 

[Seeten]

I am self aware enough to realize I am mean, cruel, unfeeling, and totally without any shred of empathy that a normal person might have.

In fact, chances are I am a sociopath with a keen grasp on consequences. I "failed" several personality tests designed to find out if you are a "violent criminal" or a "well adjusted person". Heh.

I shocked and disturbed myself with that self-knowledge. Further actions and reactions only further show me the depths of which I am capable.

That said, I find playing LG characters to be laughably funny, yet at the same time, refreshing as a break from being me in real life.

I usually revert to my normal LE after a while, though, as I have trouble sustaining the LG outlook and demeanor. Heh.

I am a bad man. But I try really hard to seem like I am not so bad.

 

[Mark]

Ever weirded yourself out?

I would, many times per day, if I weren't able to maintain an aesthetic distance. A writer needs to develop an increasing ability to remain detached from their material, IMO, while still maintaining a firm grip on reality. Cussler and King are good examples of how to maintain the grip, Robert E. Howard is a very poor one.

 

[Dagger75]

In a game we all thought it would be a good idea for our PC's to dress up as women. Nobody argues against it. That was disturbing

 

[AIM-54]

Umm...I don't know that I've ever seriously creeped myself out, but I have surprised myself from time to time with the kinds of things I'll come up with. But I play Shadowrun and that setting sort of lends itself to a certain level of depravity...at least with one of my former groups...

But really, I'm a nice person in real life. Really.

 

[Tom Cashel]

Spoiler

fnord