Awww!
I just found a newly birthed litter of fluffy cat-babies behind my shed. I have taken them indoors, and spent the day observing their adolescent behavior- the adorable mews, the toppling-over kitten gymnastics, their playful wrestling...
Yet, my resolve is firm for administering arbitrary and extremely indirect punishments for those who irritate my pet peeves.
Thus, by decree, for every instance where "IMO" or "IMHO" appear on these boards, I will mercilessly drown one of these furry bundles, watching the whole time in detached coldness.
Please open your Strunk and White, students. It is never necessary to say "In my opinion", as it does nothing but clutter and annoy. We can all tell from the context of the writing whether something is subjective or objective, so there is no need to set up orange road cones and hold our hands through your (doubtlessly) exquisite insights.
So please, omit this language-degrading abbreviation, and ESPECIALLY the faux-humble conceit of typing out the words "In my opinion," or "In my humble opinion." As soon as I see those words, someone's opinion is about to be ignored, and a kitten is about to be drowned.
I'll demonstrate my seriousness by preemptively sacrificing the cutest of the bunch, one with rabbit-like feet I named Thumper.
This is as hard for me as it is for you.
Actually, it's quite easy for you! I'm asking that you type less, not only for linguistic purposes, but also to save the life of a kitten. Adorable feminine feline "Petunia" is the next to go. Do you really want to be responsible for her drowning?
IMHO, your conscience wouldn't allow for you to do that.
I just found a newly birthed litter of fluffy cat-babies behind my shed. I have taken them indoors, and spent the day observing their adolescent behavior- the adorable mews, the toppling-over kitten gymnastics, their playful wrestling...
Yet, my resolve is firm for administering arbitrary and extremely indirect punishments for those who irritate my pet peeves.
Thus, by decree, for every instance where "IMO" or "IMHO" appear on these boards, I will mercilessly drown one of these furry bundles, watching the whole time in detached coldness.
Please open your Strunk and White, students. It is never necessary to say "In my opinion", as it does nothing but clutter and annoy. We can all tell from the context of the writing whether something is subjective or objective, so there is no need to set up orange road cones and hold our hands through your (doubtlessly) exquisite insights.
So please, omit this language-degrading abbreviation, and ESPECIALLY the faux-humble conceit of typing out the words "In my opinion," or "In my humble opinion." As soon as I see those words, someone's opinion is about to be ignored, and a kitten is about to be drowned.
I'll demonstrate my seriousness by preemptively sacrificing the cutest of the bunch, one with rabbit-like feet I named Thumper.
This is as hard for me as it is for you.
Actually, it's quite easy for you! I'm asking that you type less, not only for linguistic purposes, but also to save the life of a kitten. Adorable feminine feline "Petunia" is the next to go. Do you really want to be responsible for her drowning?
IMHO, your conscience wouldn't allow for you to do that.
Last edited:
