Famous Last Words.

The party was escorting a sorcerer thru the desert. A blue dragon was pursuing, wanting the sorcerer, specifically. Burrowing beneath the sand, the dragon says, "Give me the sorcerer."

The battle-cleric responds, "Come and get him yourself."

Blue dragon head pops up. Breath weapon fires. Saving throw fails. Near max damage is rolled.

Then, a moment of silence.

Shiv
 

log in or register to remove this ad




The game: Traveller

We've split into two groups, since we now have two ships. After a daring raid, one ship is loaded to the gills with gold. Gold is even stacked in the corridors and statrerooms, there's so much of it. The ship is piloted by 'Ed' and myself, with 15 mercenary soldiers in residence. The second ship contains the rest of the party and more mercs. The raid, as I said, was daring. Much fun is had, and finally we're ready to boost out of system with our ill-gotten gains and live like kings for the rest of our lives.

The ship with the gold, Ed and myself... misjumps and is now lost between the stars, without any fuel to jump again.

The M-drive has enough fuel to keep us warm and pump the O2 forever, but... no way to move. The other group, we assume, will realize what's happened when we don't show up after a few days and come looking for us. However, they'll have to search a considerable body of space. It could literally take them years to go to each possible location we could have ended up (We can possibly be up to 36 hexes from our original position, in any of six directions; at one week per hex, it'll take roughly 4-5 years to search). Assuming they don't think we just jumped to a star other than the one agreed-upon and took the gold for ourselves.

They start searching. Meanwhile, we've realized that while the heat and air will last long past our natural lifespans... the food
won't.

First things first: tell the mercs that the J-drive needs overhauling and that they have to go EVA and remove all the outside panels. When they're half-way suited up, we override the safeties and open the airlock to space. The rest of the party looks at us.

"Um, why?" says one guy.

Ed looks at him. "We now have 3000 pounds of freeze-dried rations," Ed says. Ever the practical one, Ed.

Four years of game time passes as the rest of the group frantically searches for the gold ship. It really is that much money, that it's worth spending years searching for it. Finally, our radio signals (travelling at light speed) reach the star nearest our position and news of the mayday signal is dispatched through the X-Boat network. The party is actually very close to that point, so two weeks from then, they'll jump to our deep-space location, find us and all will be over.

However, by now Ed and I are down to the last bit of Mercenary Jerky and are days from starvation.

Obviously, there is one other source of food left on the ship... A source that will easily last those last two weeks.

A deadly cat-and-mouse game begins as we stalk each other through the maze of underworks. Finally, though, I emerge victorious and cart Ed off to the galley.

Four weeks later, my character mere days away from death by starvation, the ship with the other party members finds us. I look up as they open the cargo bay, and scream 'I'M SAVED!!!'

Which surprises the green kid who's first through the door and he shoots me in the forehead.
 

Not quite last words (since the party survived) but still amusing.

The characters find an automaton in some old gnomish ruins. They know that it can be commanded in gnomish, and get it top stop attacking by ordering it to be still. While they're poking at it, a dark creeper and a dark stalker ambush them, getting in a few sneak attacks. They turn to fight the things, leaving the automaton at their back. On their initiatives the party beats down the dark ones, almost dropping both. One of my players comments, "Hey, this encounter is pretty easy."

On its action, the dark stalker uses a free action to say, in gnomish, "Kill the elves."

The automaton whirs into action....

17 points to the elf fighter's kisser later, the players aren't thinking this is such an easy encounter anymore. The party's wizard ended up playing verbal tug of war over the automaton, and in the end the dark ones negotiated escape from the dungeon in return for spilling the beans on the villain.
 

'There's no way it can fail a fourth time in a row.' A gnome trying to fire a steam-powered catapult.

'Hey look what I found!' A kender waving an evil sentient sword hellbent on killing everyone who would try to use it.

'Take that you eye freak!' A dwarven fighter mistaking a gas spore for a beholder.

'If it were a dragon, it would have woken up already.' A cleric stumbling on a dragon in a deep deep sleep.
 

WayneLigon said:

A deadly cat-and-mouse game begins as we stalk each other through the maze of underworks. Finally, though, I emerge victorious and cart Ed off to the galley.

Four weeks later, my character mere days away from death by starvation, the ship with the other party members finds us. I look up as they open the cargo bay, and scream 'I'M SAVED!!!'

Which surprises the green kid who's first through the door and he shoots me in the forehead.

That was great!
 


D&D game.. the party is between 5th and 10th level... after traveling for over a month, they get to the first town they've encountered in another kingdom other than their own... there is a minotaur standing guard at the front gate.

Fighter *grabbing some grass up off the ground and waving it in the minotaur's face*: "Moo. Moo. Moo-moo-moo."

*Party members and minotaur stand in stunned silence*

Fighter: "Hey, I said moo! What are you, deaf?"

The Captain of the guard was *not* amused.
 

Remove ads

Top