Fun with improvised weapons

[lukelightning]

What's the best (as in funnest) use of an improvised weapon you've seen? And yes, I know that funnest isn't really a word.

I had a big bruiser of a fighter who used a dead rust monster as a weapon...because it had destroyed his greatsword. I had so much fun with this that later on he wrestled a crocodile and strangled it, and afterwards weilded the dead croc as a weapon.

 

[Primitive Screwhead]

H-Ogre with a very low INT...{imagine that..}
His favorite weapon was doors....preferably the one to the room the bad guys were in....

He also used doors for pretty much everything he could think of.. which was not much. Got the party really annoyed when they discovered he dismantled the dungeons doors whenever possible.. 'trading up' he called it

"Ooh, this one has a pretty silver knocker on it.. I bet its good against them man wolf things!!" [RRRIIIIPPP!!]

 

[Tinner]

We had a VERY "healthy-chested" female player who always was clear that her PC was built in exactly the same proportions she was.
She once beat a thief into submission with nothing but her "lady-lumps."
It was simultaneously disturbing and arousing ...

 

[billd91]

This occured while playing TSR's Indiana Jones game back in the 1980s. One of the guys was playing Marion (from the first movie) in another rollicking adventure with Indy and was having a hard time hitting anything with regular weapons. So, she took off her shoe and used her thick heels as a weapon... hitting every time!
It was total luck, but it just seemed to fit with her fast frying pan from Raiders.

 

[Evilhalfling]

I have had PCs use dead goblins for trapfinding (I stick its finger in the lock and wiggle it around) and another who attacked a swarm of Cranium rats with a table (by jumping on it until the legs broke -although the table held up to long and it failed.

A 5 lb bag of Lye Soap (base) to fight an Ooze (acid) I am unsure why he was carring the bag of soap - its a completely foriegn substance to most adventures.
same player devised a trap using mettle wires and a prismatic sphere (electrical layer exposed)
I allow physics in my game if I think its funny.

 

[sydbar]

We had a half ogre use another pc as a weapon when they broke out of prison.

 

[BSF]

I once played a half-ogre that was stuck in a doorway fighting. He misunderstood the paladin behind him and ended up using the paladin as a shield and shield-bashed the monster inside the room.

I played in a game a long time ago where knew a dragon was terrorizing the town. finding out it was a green dragon, we acquired a bag of lye. Then my character used his alchemy skills to create a strong narcotic drug. We bought a sheep, shaved the sheep's belly, attached the bag of narcotic, then used mending to put the wool back on the sheep. Thus equipped, we snuck up near the dragon's lair. The Druid compelled the sheep to enter and we waited to see if the dragon would take the bait. Sometime later, my character and another snuck in with the bag of lye and tried to throw it into the sleeping dragon's mouth. It sorta worked. But nowhere near as well as we had planned.

 

[Lord Ipplepop]

How about the half-orc barbarian that tossed the halfling thief onto the back of a young dragon so the thief could get his back stab bonus?

 

[lordcloaker]

In my 2nd Edition party, we had a Dwarf Fighter/Cleric that had a belt of Giant Strength and it gave him 23 or 24 in STR, which back in 2nd was absurd. I had an wild elf fighter that was captured by Mind Flayers and the party was running trying to find the Mind Flayer lair. They found a Teleporting Circle and everyone jumped in and landed in the middle of my mind sucking ritual and everyone was spread over the room. The Dwarf didnt think twice... he grabbed a mind flayer beside him and maced away till he got to me. It was quite hilarious since the DM really didnt understand that 24 STR was REALLY STRONG and you can more or less anything you want... even club away a room full of mind flayers using one of them