Funniest Home Dice Rolls

[Masquerade]

It was my first time playing a monk, and after a couple of combats, I finally got the chance to try out some of my new monk tricks. I announced with pride that I was making my very first flurry of blows. Granted, it was only two attacks, but it certainly felt special. I rolled the first d20 and d6 (damage) at once.

Both came up as ones.

"Okay," I thought, "that's what the second attack is for". I rolled the d20 a second time, and again, it came up a one. My very first flurry of blows was also my first recorded instance of rolling three consecutive ones. Luckily, the campaign didn't last long enough for it to become a running joke.

 

[Taloras]

This happened last saturday night. PCs have landed on an island and managed to force their way into the evil temple underground. Clerics back them into a corner. LUCKILY the sailors up above (commoners all, with at most a +1 dex bonus and no armor) heard somethign going on, grabbed up a bunch of crossbows(no swords) and charged down. 3 of the 6 clerics turn on the sailors. All 3 clerics have a +6 to hit. My rolls? 3, 3, 4. Next round, 2, 4, 3. 3rd round. 1, 1 3. On the other hand, the sailors were getting 15, 17, 18. 16, 17, 17. 12, 17, 17. Since these are level 1 commoners with a +1 dex, and the clerics had an AC of 18(each round, the sailors had moved back 5 ft, clerics moving forward 5 foot on their turn, etc, etc). The sailors managed 6 hits...the clerics couldnt get a SINGLE hit. The party managed to finish the 3 that were against them(higher level). By that point, the sailors had pretty much finished off theirs.

Seriously, my DM dice tend to roll(3/4 of the time) low. if they roll high, its almost always a threat. Thats if its against the players. If its NPCs against the badguys, its reversed. If I use these dice as a player, i tend to get mediocre rolls. usually in the 8-14 range. But I still find it wierd that in 3 rounds, the 3 clerics couldnt get a single hit. all they needed was a 5......

 

[sniffles]

He was a great guy to game with in general. He DMed the first "had a great time RPing, never rolled a die" session I was ever a part of. Unfortunately, when the succubus came to take him to Tualitin, we didn't know to play her song backwards.

Nooooooo!! Not Tualatin!!

 

[Evilhalfling]

I was playing MERP and as starting characters and we were getting massacred, by goblins in a tunnel system. We had no luck whatsoever and niether I nor the other fighter type hit anything for several rounds. We were fighting back to back and he was cut down. I grabbed up his (+1 eqiv) sword and rolled 3 criticals in a row. Body parts went flying and I left only stunned, bleeding enemies behind me. Somehow the dice gods wanted me to have his sword.

 

[reveal]

Somehow the dice gods wanted me to have his sword.

You mean Icosahedros?

 

[Kid Charlemagne]

OK, this was two weeks ago. We're playing an Evil campaign, the PC's are 15th level, in Greyhawk - the Great Kingdom to be exact. We're dealing with a demon-possessed Dragon (from the BoVD). He's a CR 20 monstrosity, as it turns out. For the moment, we need to cooperate - he's stuck in a place he can't get out of without us, and we need him to show us what's what in that place. THe Dragon is being played by a guest player in this session.

He's being pretty annoying. He's flying us across a cham, when he decides it would fun to sshapechange into a human form with 6 or so of us on his back, about 100 feet up from a ledge on the far side of the chasm. His idea is that his momentum will carry us all onto the ledge, but he doesn't take into account his poor dex (relatively speaking). He blows a dex check, and we're all in free fall. No big deal, we're 15th level characters, so we all make it safely.

We're a little peeved though. The party psion decides to give the Dragon a little "tickle," by Psychic Crushing him - figuring he'll make his save, take like 11 points of damage, and we'll have made our point.

The Dragon's player rolls a 1 for his save.

We kick his unconscious body off the ledge, and walk away smiling. It makes a satisfying splat noise several hundred feet down.

 

[STARP_JVP]

Well...I think you made your point, one way or another...

 

[Tolen Mar]

Last game session.

My wife's playing a human Jedi Guardian and a friend is playing a human Scoundrel.

We're in a fight with a human Dark Jedi and a couple enforcer droids.

Between the two of them, they rolled 8 1s in a row. Four rounds straight of nothing but 1s on their attack rolls. That's gotta be some sort of record or something.

Better watch out or the Empire will hire them as stormtroopers.

 

[painandgreed]

I was at a gaming con once watchign some guys play Axis & Allies at 3 in the morning and germany was getting their asses stomped. Nothing really in western europe and only one lone sub while the Brits and Americans had 15 transports sitting offshore ready to bring troops across the next turn. The German player sent in his lonely sub to attack the transports and got a 1 and killed one. The transports needed a 1 to kill the sub and rolled 15 dice. Everyone was a 2 or higher. German player let it ride and managed to kill another transport. 14 more dice without a 1 and the sub coninued. In the end the entire game room had come to a stop to watch the combat and the one sub took out all 15 transports and was never killed. All in all it was around 120 D6 rolls without rolling a single one including the rounds the sub missed (which was only three).

 

[Patryn of Elvenshae]

Better watch out or the Empire will hire them as stormtroopers.

Hey! Them's fightin' words!

...

Rather ineffectual fightin' words, granted, but they's them nonetheless!