Funniest thing a players character ever did?

[mascheko]

Three things come to my mind

1.) We were sneaking through a pretty dark dungeon with dwarfs in front and came to a closed door. So we decided to move back a bit and let the rogue pick the lock alone. The rogue picked it, opened it silently! and slipped into the door (silently again!). Since he was a halfling, the DM informed him, that he couldn't see a . With a big grin the player informed the DM, that he is going to use his magic flashlight. He found the three mobs in the room with the flashlight... For some odd reason, the DM let him get away with this

2.) After a failed sneaking attempt, we found ourselves in the situation of having a ranged fight with four bandits, who were hiding behind the balustrades of little castle ruin. They had us under fire for some time and actually the only thing we could do was to retreat.
But our brave fighter saw his time coming and told the DM that he will rush through the opening of a collapsed wall into the courtyard and will try to shoot down the bandits from inside (where they have no cover). I remember the face of our DM:"So you really rush into the courtyard"? He did. Four bandits turned around for a shot and took him under fire, 10 minutes later he rerolled a new character.

3.) Same guy, we played the RoleMaster system these days, fumbled on a ranged attack with his bow. In RoleMaster you then roll on the fumble table where he rolled a smooth "100" (end of table). The good point: The arrow flew. The bad point: His ear dropped on his shoulder, cut by the sinew

 

[holygeek04]

Dwarf and half-elf are loot hores. They are stealing a vast mount of barrels of mead from a burning building. The roof caves in and the half-elf gets out. The dwarf is trapped and when found yells at the other players to save the mead he is still holding onto not him. Then bitches for party out for dumping water allover him.

Same Dwarf busts into the Purple Dragon Knights leader's room because he wants his free mead and no one will give it to him. He finally gets the mead and enters a drinking contest. Kills one person by making them drink too much, then breaks into a guard tower. Yells at the half-elf from before to watch what he can do. Jumps out the top and lands on his feet laughing the whole time.

The half-elf attempts to steal a ruby. When failing a flame trap goes off. He gets away but the Dwarf loses all his hair. Spends 30 min chasing the half-elf in a circle before a command spell is cast. Then attempts to kill the caster when he comes back.

Almost right after losing his hair. We are fighting the boss of our campaign who is a half-ogre. After 5 rounds the boss has hit everyone but the Dwarf. So the Dwarf taunts the half-ogre about how he can't hit him. Next attack the Dwarf looses his hand. The rest of the fight the Dwarf only attacked the hand.

The Dwarf now has to explain to everyone why he has no hair, is missing a hard, and why no one in the party will drink with him. (To drink with the Dwarf means you will die next battle).

The Dwarf also burned down a huge building to defeat the mobs, and has chopped one down to get it to land on mobs.

 

[Ogrehatescomputers]

one of my first characters was a half orc barbarian. We were fighting a small sized beholder. it retreated down a circle shaped shaft in the floor that went on for some time and dissapears into the darkenss. he took one of our characters down the hole with him. so i held my greataxe like a shovel (like when you jump on it to make it go into the ground) and promptly jumped into the hole axe blades first to land on the tyrant. but they fly faster than i fell. stone ground is hard.

once our parties ranger=fighter was trying to gather infromation on a lead minion of the local bady. i cant remember the minions name so we will say bob. he goes into the bar and begins talking to a guy at the bar without ever asking his name. he then proceeds to tell the guy we a band of heroes here to end the reign of the main villian and blah blah blah and we are looking for the evil man names bob. the guy says he thinks someone in the inn may now and excuses himself. the bartender then informs the player that man who just left was bob. we NEVER let him forget. ...EVER.

another time with my barbarian we were in a dungeon and there was a steep slope made of smoothed stone. a couple of the characters one way or another eneded up going down or being thrown down the slope. So i kill a guy who is using a tower shield lay it down of the ground sit my half orc butt on it and kick off with my axe. Everyone laughed. but my barb was the only one who made it down unscathed.

 

[roushguy]

Alright. The party had gotten split up by a trap, and the half-orc Throkk and my brother's character (rogue, I think... he'd just been introduced to D&D and had no real clue what he was) were alone when everything went black. The darkmantle above them missed Throkk, hit my brother, and dropped him to negatives. Throkk fights the darkmantle blind, gets to 0. Then remembers he has rage (A VERY common ocurrance... Throkk was funny like that), rages, kills the darkmantle, and patches up my brother's char by wrapping him IN THE DARKMANTLE'S SKIN. Before drinking a potion a local cleric had made him... Special DM call to say it was Cure MINOR wounds... (non-magical cureall, lol) then his rage drops and he collapses at 0 HP.

Another time: Throkk and my third or fourth character (most of them die so quickly I don't recall so well) were the halforcs in the group. The orcish leader of a keep pointed at me, yelled KILL HIM, and pointed at Throkk. I walked past his bodyguards on my way to Throkk, said NEVER!!.... and criticalled for maximum greatsword carnage. I dropped the guy to a knee. Throkk looks over, rages, charges, and ALSO crits. He's now on BOTH knees, then my brother walks up and tells the GM "I stab him in the NECK." Then claims it was his kill all along. Later on, my brother tries to lasso a fleeing bone devil, misses, and falls two stories. I wrap a rope around myself, toss it to Throkk, say, "Hold this!" as I jumped to save him from approaching zombies. Throkk tells GM, "I'm not holding the rope." I die. Once, my brother punched my nongood wizard (only info they had was detect good) because he "knew I was evil." Throkk punched me for lethal and klled me. *sigh* Ah, the good 'ol days.

 

[FEADIN]

A friend of mine playing a CN cleric with feather falling ring jumped in a shaft telling to another party member he disliked (really and the player too) that it was safe, his detect magic said it was a feather falling shaft....around 200' deep....

Fun and great: we where all dead and squashed by a human slaying giant ranger in this 12-14 th level scenario for ADD2, I had missed the killing blow with my fire breath potion and he was 7hp left, only the cleric at 1hp coming back from the dead was hidden in the rope trick.
The giant detect the magic zone, cast a dispel and here is the cleric (ODIN worshiper): "WHO WERE YOU" says the big bad creature before dealing the last killing blow, the old cleric looks at him with his piercing blues eyes and throws toward him his gnarled wooden staff, smiling and not surprised the giant catch the stick and falls dead slayed by the might of the artifact given by ODIN.

 

[akbearfoot]

Rogue in our party sat on a throne and tried to 'use magic device'. It was described by the DM to be made of black bones and radiating powerful evil. Hrmmmmmm.


A different character in a different game decided to go toe-to-toe with a Wight we encountered. The same encounter included an ooze that came out from a nearby pool of water. The character got level drained to death. The next round someone detonated a bead of force on them which trapped the wight, ooze, and characters body in the force bubble. The character revived as a wight himself since he was level drained to death, then proceeded to be melted by the ooze that was sloshing around inside the force bubble.

 

[roushguy]

My DM told me a story about a wizard character who wanted to identify a magic dagger, so he took the shiny pearl out of the loot to go cast identify. He waits until all the PCs are asleep, smashes it for the spell, and *KABLAM* turned out to be a bead of force.

 

[Ogrehatescomputers]

my dm once told my about a druid that enjoyed using a pipe as character trait. when in a town he purchased some "exoctic" tabaco that required a drop of his blood as part of the purchase. later he smoked it while the party was on a break. turns out it was a highly addictive possibly debilatating smoke that makes you a "junky" instantly. well. he and his animal companion both were effected. and made junkies. so he begins "needing" the stuff. as does his falcon. so the guy he bought it from wont give him anymore and is being unreasonable with the prices. so the druid waits till night time at the local tavern where the seller is. summons a bear his companion and changes himself into a bear. then crashes through the window of the tavern and starts a fight for the "stuff" i have this mental image of the falcon, wings spread wide talons foward schreeching loudly at full speed towards a glorified drug dealer, all whilst crashing through the window. good times.

 

[FEADIN]

Do you know the 6th character that was carrying 6 oil flasks (DD2) and was shot by a javelin of lightning....
And the ranger badly wounded testing a potion, open it a bit: "you hear a pshiiit and see some fire under the stopper", "ok, I open it...."I was the DM on this one.

 

[rgard]

One of the better ones was when the PC jumped on the back of the remorhaz after being told that it was glowing hot. He failed his save.