Funny in-game quotes

[Robbert Raets]

Drow maakt meer kapot dan je lief is.

Hilarisch!

Okay, so in this FR campaign I played in, one of the other PCs was a Calame Noble; and after we were caught in a desert storm escaping from his demon-possessed brother, we had to survive with the help of a former slave. This Nomad was leading us to his tribe, but in the mean time, we had to survive on a diet of snakes and rats.
Hakim (the Noble boy): "Rat?! I'm not eating rat. You are what you eat!"
Aeron (my Bard PC): "Some people are rats, even without eating them." ...And he proceeds to sink his teeth into one.

Other comment from Hakim: "I'm not crawling, especially not in a dungeon!"

 

[Robbert Raets]

...one of the other PCs was a Calame Noble

Aw crap!! You can not be in' serious!!

 

[Arravis]

PC's (whom are looking for a fleeing assassin): Have you seen someone in a dark cloak come by?

Gate Guards: 'es sir, he had 'is cloak up ta 'ide 'is face. We tried ta stap 'im, but could'nt.

PC's (to each other): I wonder why he had his cloak up the entire time...

Gare Guards: t'was to fool us.

PC's: Twastufullus! Sounds like an evil-arch mage! Let's get the hell out of here...

 

[wolff96]

"If they were really his friends, there wouldn't be any blood here and they wouldn't have required him to remove his pants."

Sounds worse than it was; the rogue was trying to change his clothes because they were bloodstained so that he could avoid the guard.

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Two of mine, from too little sleep:

"You're on watch? Roll one listen check." (Player rolls)
(Trying to recall what the lowest MS of the enemy group was, I asked) "So, what was your lowest roll?"

My personal favorite of late:

"You enter the rubber-strewn foyer." One of the players immediately asked the brand of prophylactic in question. Stupid misstatements.

 

[hunter2112]

One of my all time favorites: "We're going to need a used chicken."

Man I have to know what this is in reference to.

A few from my table:

1) Halfling rogue looking into a grave at the bottom of which is the entrance to an underground cavern. "I'm three feet tall. How am I supposed to get down into that hole?" To which the dwarven barbarian responds with "Like this." -Kick-

2) Human monk to Wood Elf druid/barbarian who already has a wolverine companion and just found himself a badger. His plan with the badger was to carry it on his shoulder so it could leap at the face of his opponents. The elf had mentioned to the party that other elves tended to fear and hate him which is why he spent much of his time alone before joining the group.

human: Wen, are you planning on carrying that badger around all the time?

elf: Yes.

human: I think I may know why people don't like being around you.

3) NPC hermit referring to a tribe of rangers and druids called Da'Nari.

hermit: Why yes I do know the Da'Nari. I been to their camp a few times. Nice people though hardly the most cosmopolitan group your likely to find.

pc fighter: Mmhmm, I see. -muttering to himself- Dude, you're a f***ing hermit!

4) Once was actually present for a move that apparently has happened to quite a few groups:

apparition in dungeon: I will answer any one question asked of me.

player, before anyone could stop him: Is that one question from each of us or one question in total?

apparition: One question in total. -Poof- vanishes in puff of smoke



there are more but I can't remember them exactly

 

[demiurge1138]

OK, here we go.

"Alright. Hand over your tongue, and you won't get hurt!"

DM: "As you go down the spiral staircase, you almost slip on a puddle of greyish slime oozing down the steps."
PC1: I pick it up.
DM: I runs through your fingers slowly, causing tingling as it does.
PC1: I taste it!
DM: OK... It tastes like... toast.
PC2: Hey, we should take that to an alchemist!
PC1: Yeah! Liquid toast! We'll be rich!

 

[clark411]

Just a few I can recall..

(High Cha, High Diplomatic [skills wise]) Paladin's character in first session: "I've got this lil list i made for random addresses to the people I meet. I roll d4.. "Barbaric" "Dirty" "Unkempt" "Filthy" and then roll another d4.. "Heretic," "Pagan," "Infidel," "Friend."


Sorceror: "I've got a spotlight for you; it's very short and it hurts."

Cleric of Cuthbert: "Oh the vengeance I shall bestow upon your face!"

DM: "Rock, Paper, Fireball!"

Paladin (speaking pidgen republican with slight russian accent) to Half Orc Fighter: "Your head is large and green.. Like Melon!"

Paladin attempting to show the difference between himself, the cleric, and the half orc fighter (for the third time):"*hand motion to half orc* Pagan.... *hand motion to himself* NOT Pagan. *back to half orc* PAGAN... *back to self* NOT Pagan!"

Riding away from worg patrols out of orc territory, Cleric: "We mask our trail of horse smell with fear!"

Aforementioned paladin, knowingly says: "I am wise and other good modifiers."

Player's interpretation of a Hound Archon recieving orders to intervene (divinely no less) in our combat: "Beep, beep, What the *looks at his pager* Goblins and Worgs? This is *bleep*!"

Sorceror's Raven Familiar "Spooky" after eating the eyes of our fallen foes: "Eye Fruit Good! Drinks the Eye Fruit!"

 

[Rel]

Originally posted by Rel
One of my all time favorites: "We're going to need a used chicken."

Man I have to know what this is in reference to.

The short version is this:

We were playtesting some rules for a book a friend and I wrote for Rolemaster. These rules involved spellcasters using different kinds of components to power their spells. The particular spellcaster in question used animal parts and needed feathers to cast a certain ritual. She reasoned that chicken feathers would be the easiest to come by in the small village where they were located.

The funniest part was that it never occured to her that she could probably just find some feathers laying around the nearest chicken coop AND that she wanted to purchase a "used" (i.e. previously owned) chicken to save on costs. We quickly asked her where she thought she would get a "New Chicken" and how would it differ from a "Previously Owned Chicken".

We had such a good laugh about it that when the book was published her attribution as a playtester was printed as: "*First Name* "We're going to need a used chicken." *Last Name*"


I also wanted to mention that:

PC1: Yeah! Liquid toast! We'll be rich!

made me laugh out loud.

 

[Ashard_Soulblaze]

funny quotes

DM- " Roll Intelligence"
me ( Cleric of Obad-Hai, SLEEPING )
" I got a 21! "
DM- " YOUR SLEEPING!"
Me- " I still got a 21!"
DM- " Your dream is very Intelligent."

 

[JesterPoet]

In a game of Little Fears (a horror game where you play children)


DM - Again, you see the huge, dark form pass by the outside of the window, and you hear it pause and sniff the air slowly

Thomas - We're all going to die. Let's experiment with our sexuality!