Funny in-game quotes
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JacktheRabbit
Explorer
This is one from a game of Cyberpunk.
Our party is made up of amoral solos for hire. We basically killed anyone for any reason. Of course this got us in trouble quite a bit.
At one point in the game we are pursuing someone in a highspeed hovercar chase. Our car gets destroyed so we all piled out and went looking for new transportation. At the same time another driver stops leans out his hovercar window and starts yelling that we are blocking the street with our burning car wreckage.
Of course one of us promptly shoots him dead. Thinking quick I grab his body and throw it on our burning car then we all pile into his car.
As the pursuit continues the car phone rings. My character answers it and it turns out to be a friend of the now dead car owner. Here is the conversation:
"Hey Bob how's it going?"
"This is not Bob."
"Who is this"
"This is Bobs personal assistant."
"Where is Bob?"
My responce instant and completely deadfaced to the GM.
"He is at a barbeque."
Our party is made up of amoral solos for hire. We basically killed anyone for any reason. Of course this got us in trouble quite a bit.
At one point in the game we are pursuing someone in a highspeed hovercar chase. Our car gets destroyed so we all piled out and went looking for new transportation. At the same time another driver stops leans out his hovercar window and starts yelling that we are blocking the street with our burning car wreckage.
Of course one of us promptly shoots him dead. Thinking quick I grab his body and throw it on our burning car then we all pile into his car.
As the pursuit continues the car phone rings. My character answers it and it turns out to be a friend of the now dead car owner. Here is the conversation:
"Hey Bob how's it going?"
"This is not Bob."
"Who is this"
"This is Bobs personal assistant."
"Where is Bob?"
My responce instant and completely deadfaced to the GM.
"He is at a barbeque."
Henry
Autoexreginated
One that Rel Just reminded me of:
"Beware, Guardsman! There's Murderous, Flute-wielding Arsonists Skulking about!"
...and a scene from my most recent d20 Modern Game...
A PC who is impersonating a policeman has just stopped a pickup truck with two moonshine-carrying Cthulhu cultists in the wilds of Colorado. (I'll let that sink in for a second.) As he approaches asking for documentation, they gun the engine, and he narrowly avoids being run down.
He pulls a hand grenade, pulls the pin, and tosses it into the back of their pickup bed, yelling,
"I SAID license and registration, beeyatch!"
"Beware, Guardsman! There's Murderous, Flute-wielding Arsonists Skulking about!"
...and a scene from my most recent d20 Modern Game...
A PC who is impersonating a policeman has just stopped a pickup truck with two moonshine-carrying Cthulhu cultists in the wilds of Colorado. (I'll let that sink in for a second.) As he approaches asking for documentation, they gun the engine, and he narrowly avoids being run down.
He pulls a hand grenade, pulls the pin, and tosses it into the back of their pickup bed, yelling,
"I SAID license and registration, beeyatch!"
FraserRonald
Explorer
Sit#1
DM: There's nothing in the room but a green, mouldy bag.
PC1: Dan, pull up your pants.
PC2: I grab it!
Group breaks into insane cackling.
Sit#2 (same PC, the group was fighting an ogre)
PC1: I make a called shot with my lasso.
DM: Where are you aiming for?
PC1: His genitals
PC1 rolls and hits, very successfully.
PC1: (mimicing a cowboy riding a bucking bronco) Yee-haw!
DM: There's nothing in the room but a green, mouldy bag.
PC1: Dan, pull up your pants.
PC2: I grab it!
Group breaks into insane cackling.
Sit#2 (same PC, the group was fighting an ogre)
PC1: I make a called shot with my lasso.
DM: Where are you aiming for?
PC1: His genitals
PC1 rolls and hits, very successfully.
PC1: (mimicing a cowboy riding a bucking bronco) Yee-haw!
One quote I have particually like for a long time & has followed with me through all the many sessions I have played is this, & I don't think it's neccessarily all that funny, it's just one of the quotes I will always remember.
This has to do with an instance of some members of our to-be party meeting my character. The groups of characters had already been attacked by a team of bandits, & now the party witnesses my character searching over a landscape from a distance, with someone sneaking up behind me with a sword.
One of the characters (who is from Waterdeep) draws his bow & hits the enemy behind me (who turns out to be a bandit). The DM jokingly replies with
"You've just hit the son of the mayor of Waterdeep. He's a 20th level Paladin, & he's GOING to revoke your citizenship."
This has to do with an instance of some members of our to-be party meeting my character. The groups of characters had already been attacked by a team of bandits, & now the party witnesses my character searching over a landscape from a distance, with someone sneaking up behind me with a sword.
One of the characters (who is from Waterdeep) draws his bow & hits the enemy behind me (who turns out to be a bandit). The DM jokingly replies with
"You've just hit the son of the mayor of Waterdeep. He's a 20th level Paladin, & he's GOING to revoke your citizenship."
CRGreathouse
Community Supporter
Witch Doctor said:
From CRGreathouse's copy of LotR:
An Object Lesson on Not Playing While Tanked
One of my players was a leetle the worse for whiskey in last week's game. His PC, a LN cleric, was getting chewed out by an NPC superior officer for donning armor throughout a siege, thus missing the entire battle.
Cleric: "I wanna make a Diplomacy check to tell this guy he doesn't know who the f**k he's dealing with, and to kiss my a*s."
Me (DM): You want to say that to your superior officer?
Cleric: Well, he can take a Sense Motive on it, but he has to roll for it.
My other favorite funny moment was when one PC in an old campaign was confronted with a closed door. She drew her sword, turned dramatically to the rest of the party, said "Prepare Yourselves!," threw open the door, and charged right into a stone wall.
One of my players was a leetle the worse for whiskey in last week's game. His PC, a LN cleric, was getting chewed out by an NPC superior officer for donning armor throughout a siege, thus missing the entire battle.
Cleric: "I wanna make a Diplomacy check to tell this guy he doesn't know who the f**k he's dealing with, and to kiss my a*s."
Me (DM): You want to say that to your superior officer?
Cleric: Well, he can take a Sense Motive on it, but he has to roll for it.
My other favorite funny moment was when one PC in an old campaign was confronted with a closed door. She drew her sword, turned dramatically to the rest of the party, said "Prepare Yourselves!," threw open the door, and charged right into a stone wall.
MarauderX
Explorer
Playing shadowrun a while back one of the PCs died and was creating a new character with one augmentation:
Player: "I want to have those claws."
GM: "Ok, a Physical Adept with retractable claws."
Player: "No, UNretractable claws. With bloodstains from past victims. I want to be known for decapitating all of my opponents. Ooh ooh and drinking their blood. From their lifeless skulls. At night. I only kill at night. OR when it rains, like, really heavy rain."
He said it just like that with wide, wild eyes and we nearly couldn't continue from laughing, just because he repeated the exact same thing to us twice during the session to crack us up.
Player: "I want to have those claws."
GM: "Ok, a Physical Adept with retractable claws."
Player: "No, UNretractable claws. With bloodstains from past victims. I want to be known for decapitating all of my opponents. Ooh ooh and drinking their blood. From their lifeless skulls. At night. I only kill at night. OR when it rains, like, really heavy rain."
He said it just like that with wide, wild eyes and we nearly couldn't continue from laughing, just because he repeated the exact same thing to us twice during the session to crack us up.
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