Game of Death

[cool hand luke]

The elf glances over. disdainfully looking down his nose. "for your insolence puny man, you shall see you sons filled with my arrows, there worthless blood staining the grass, before I will grant you the reprieve of death. Boys, know now that your father has sealed your doom."

 

[seasong]

have you come up with the format you want our characters submitted yet?

Nope. I've got some basic requirements, though:

STR xx (xx base, +xx racial, +xx level, +xx by item/spell)
DEX etc.

Level/Class:
1: fighter
2: fighter
3: fighter
etc.

HP: xx (HD, +xx CON)

BAB +xx/+xx-5/etc.
- weapon A: +xx (+xx weapon focus, +xx STR/DEX, +xx magic, etc.)
- weapon B: etc.

AC xx (10 base, +xx size, +xx DEX, +xx racial natural armor, +xx armor, +xx item/spell)
Flatfooted: xx
Touch: xx

Feats
level 1: Feat A
human 1: Feat B
fighter 1: Feat C
fighter 2: Feat D
level 3: Feat E
fighter 4: Feat F
level 6: Feat G
fighter 6: Feat H
etc.

More as I work it out.

 

[seasong]

Xiao Fung – Now here, pay attention, Lung and Hu. That there is an Elf.

For a moment, as Xiao Fung channels the South, he experiences brief disorientation. He's not sure what he said, but he hopes his sons didn't notice.

 

[cool hand luke]

the beverly hillbillies monk! i love it, not very intimidating though.

 

[cool hand luke]

the elf continues

"the fact that you brought your own children here, surely to die, shows how base and crude a race the humans are, not even honoring the lives of there own children, willing to sacrifice them for your benefit. I wouldn't be surprised to find some orc running through your veins.

 

[Jeremy]

The chaotic shifting form--awaiting some decisiveness--speaks in voices that go from cultured and dignified, to brash and arrogant, to deep, loud, and with an air of savage stupidity.

"You really shouldn't judge a book b---y it's cover. It is presumptuous and preposterous to propose to win unarmed and unaided by eld--by mojo.. ME SMASH YOU!"

Its grunts and hollering are cut off as it shifts into a shadowy form that makes no sound, which only gives way to a troll like creature that appears to have some draconic traits, and then to a full armed and armored knight mounted upon a shining steed, to a small pixie crackling with electrical energy.

 

[JDragon]

Welcome to the SHOW!!

 

[Number47]

Xiao Fung – Of course I brought my sons here to die. If they cannot keep themselves alive, they are worthless to me. So, my son, what do we do when a puny elf taunts us?

Xiao Lung – We, uh, we kill him?

Xiao Hu – *speaks without looking up* We ignore him. When taunts move us to action, our enemy controls us.

Xiao Fung – Yes, Hu. *whacks Xiao Lung with a bamboo rod* Pay attention, you dolt! You sink into chaos and I will kill you myself.

Xiao Lung – Yes, father.

***This is fun***

 

[Saepiroth]

An unkempt, raven haired, greasy, and most of all short man stands staring off into space, yelling at himself.


:The left arm reaches up and flicks the right ear:

<Right side of mouth> "WHAAAAA! STOOOOP IIIT!"

<Left side of mouth> "Heeheeheeheehee..."

:The left arm reaches up and flicks the right ear:

<Right side of mouth> "STOOOOOOOOP IIIIIT!!!"

<Left side of mouth> "Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!!!"

:The left arm reaches up and flicks the right ear:

<Right side of mouth> "STOOOOOOOOP IIIIIT NOOOOOW DAMMIIIIIIIT!!!"

:The right arm swings and the man punches himself hard, square in the balls:
:The man crumples to the ground, listing hard to port as he falls. A billowing cloud of smoke pours over him as he hits the ground, obscuring the pathetic drama from view:

 

[DM with a vengence]

"Mr. Stampy, do you see that man over there? When we see him again, remember to CRUSH HIS PUNY SKULL UNDER YOUR FEET! He only has two friends with him, I wonder how long they'll stand against us six."