Romnipotent
First Post
1d3PrinceZane said:
now, I dont like you mistreating the monkey, since I want a baleful polymorphed tamarin monkey sorcerer with a human familiar... you get the idea, anyway...
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Game stopping events... (funny)
- Thread starter PrinceZane
- Start date
now, I dont like you mistreating the monkey, since I want a baleful polymorphed tamarin monkey sorcerer with a human familiar... you get the idea, anyway...
Storyteller01
First Post
Playing a Star Wars campaign (the old d6 variety)...
Play stopped cold when the annoying squib (yep, that was the official archtype name) held up the party to find his key ring. He needed to turn on the alarm on his Stocklight Freaighter.
The group broke down when the player actually supplied the 'chirp-chirp' noise.
Play stopped cold when the annoying squib (yep, that was the official archtype name) held up the party to find his key ring. He needed to turn on the alarm on his Stocklight Freaighter.
The group broke down when the player actually supplied the 'chirp-chirp' noise.
PrinceZane
First Post
Romn - How dare you accuse me of attempt to harm my "familiar"!? Don't you know that if something "bad" were to happen to it I would become such an aweful caster!? (keep in mind my char is 13 lvls of pure NE rogue)...
I recall another humor story, but the details in it might be questionable (I honestly doubt it, but...) so until I recheck on the rules of the board reguarding such humor I'll save it...
Meanwhile, this one will have to suffice...
Again, in last nights meeting... I learn that Demoralizing is a free action in combat (or so I'm told, I still haven't actually looked it up), so we meet this foe and i walk up to it, roll a crit on demoralizing, then a 19 on my bluff to feint both totaling above 35 total. DM says he cowers a bit and seems utterly confused as to what I'm about to do. Let the SA commense! *rolls* Crit fail.
It "would've" been like stealing candy from a baby.... had the chocolate not already been melted
I recall another humor story, but the details in it might be questionable (I honestly doubt it, but...) so until I recheck on the rules of the board reguarding such humor I'll save it...
Meanwhile, this one will have to suffice...
Again, in last nights meeting... I learn that Demoralizing is a free action in combat (or so I'm told, I still haven't actually looked it up), so we meet this foe and i walk up to it, roll a crit on demoralizing, then a 19 on my bluff to feint both totaling above 35 total. DM says he cowers a bit and seems utterly confused as to what I'm about to do. Let the SA commense! *rolls* Crit fail.
It "would've" been like stealing candy from a baby.... had the chocolate not already been melted
Kae'Yoss
First Post
Does it have to be funny? The thing I said wasn't. But one of our players laughed real hard for about 5 minutes.
All I said was "suspension bridge".
One of our players has the uncanny ability to say just the right thing.
We're confronted with a wizarly-looking guy, accompanied by a big, cloaked figure beside him.
"I hear you are looking for me? Yes, I am the one who kills all the star elves around here. Well, of course not me personally, I have minions for that. My friend here, for example, has over a dozen notches on his axe - though he doesn't have an axe"
And our bladesinger butts in: "Oh, I see, you're the born rhetoric"
It wasn't the last time he managed to ridicule the BBEG.
All I said was "suspension bridge".
One of our players has the uncanny ability to say just the right thing.
We're confronted with a wizarly-looking guy, accompanied by a big, cloaked figure beside him.
"I hear you are looking for me? Yes, I am the one who kills all the star elves around here. Well, of course not me personally, I have minions for that. My friend here, for example, has over a dozen notches on his axe - though he doesn't have an axe"
And our bladesinger butts in: "Oh, I see, you're the born rhetoric"
It wasn't the last time he managed to ridicule the BBEG.
One of the best show-stoppers I ever uttered was during my first ever session playing a home-brew with a group of strangers. Two of them were brothers, very rotund, one named 'Tony'. A third player that I later found out was bisexual was 'Dave'.
My character was a mage belonging to a race the GM described as 'hopelessy and utterly decadent', so after I loaned one of the party warriors some of my money to buy a piece of equipment he needed, I told him it was a 'retainer fee for his services'. Of course, being depraved decadent filth, the services my character had in mind were not bodyguard, but more prostitution-related.
A few hours into the session, we took a small break, during which we had an out-grossing contest. Various things distasteful were groaned over, and I could hardly be said to be the winner. But, just as we started playing again, I turned to 'Dave' (see note above), the obvious leader in the contest, and said "Tony, buttsex."
He laughed so hard he puked.
My character was a mage belonging to a race the GM described as 'hopelessy and utterly decadent', so after I loaned one of the party warriors some of my money to buy a piece of equipment he needed, I told him it was a 'retainer fee for his services'. Of course, being depraved decadent filth, the services my character had in mind were not bodyguard, but more prostitution-related.
A few hours into the session, we took a small break, during which we had an out-grossing contest. Various things distasteful were groaned over, and I could hardly be said to be the winner. But, just as we started playing again, I turned to 'Dave' (see note above), the obvious leader in the contest, and said "Tony, buttsex."
He laughed so hard he puked.
PrinceZane
First Post
And yet another episode in the misfit adventures of Zane and the guys...
This happened a few chars and DMs ago, but has lived on among our group as a top highlight...
Our party fighter got the snot nailed out of him in this dungeon by some large animated statue of some sort, and immediately grappled and stuggling for some time. So, our trusty caster (don't recall if it was wiz/sorc/or cleric) decides a heroic charge can save the fighter. He charges up and deals a "massive" (I think it was like 5 damage total after DR etc) attack. As his "free action" for the round he tosses his pouch of coins (a rather large amount at that) to the rest of the people hanging back (other caster, ranger, etc) and yells "Use this for my clerical fees (i.e. ressur..) in case something goes bad". Fighter is next, breaks free and somehow gets out of the way. The statue then proceeds to full round on the cleric knocking him into an utter pulp...
Needless to say, his money was spent wise. A res for him, and new sword for me... which of course was NOT part of his bag.... or so he thinks. *halo*
This happened a few chars and DMs ago, but has lived on among our group as a top highlight...
Our party fighter got the snot nailed out of him in this dungeon by some large animated statue of some sort, and immediately grappled and stuggling for some time. So, our trusty caster (don't recall if it was wiz/sorc/or cleric) decides a heroic charge can save the fighter. He charges up and deals a "massive" (I think it was like 5 damage total after DR etc) attack. As his "free action" for the round he tosses his pouch of coins (a rather large amount at that) to the rest of the people hanging back (other caster, ranger, etc) and yells "Use this for my clerical fees (i.e. ressur..) in case something goes bad". Fighter is next, breaks free and somehow gets out of the way. The statue then proceeds to full round on the cleric knocking him into an utter pulp...
Needless to say, his money was spent wise. A res for him, and new sword for me... which of course was NOT part of his bag.... or so he thinks. *halo*
PrinceZane
First Post
So, as you may or may not know, Zane the rogue has obtained a monkey as his animal companion. The problem is, it's dead. Thanks to a few minor spells, it's not stinking too bad, rotting away, etc.
However, it was ruled that it could be used as a thrown weapon (since its a corpse - object) with the appropriate penalties.
Last night was the first chance I had to use it as a weapon. First attack: no crit, but rolled max damage. Second attack: crit, with above average rolls for damage. Third and Forth attack: drop 2 enemies, one in hand-to-hand melee, the other a throw.
This monkey is godsent. 4 attacks, 4 awesome results...
There, of course, was talk about if the monkey missed would it be disciplined with a spanking. And someone blurted out "well, if Zane throws it bad then someone should animate object to make the monkey spank him".
Conclusion: Everyone should have a dead monkey they can toss around like a shuriken.
However, it was ruled that it could be used as a thrown weapon (since its a corpse - object) with the appropriate penalties.
Last night was the first chance I had to use it as a weapon. First attack: no crit, but rolled max damage. Second attack: crit, with above average rolls for damage. Third and Forth attack: drop 2 enemies, one in hand-to-hand melee, the other a throw.
This monkey is godsent. 4 attacks, 4 awesome results...
There, of course, was talk about if the monkey missed would it be disciplined with a spanking. And someone blurted out "well, if Zane throws it bad then someone should animate object to make the monkey spank him".
Conclusion: Everyone should have a dead monkey they can toss around like a shuriken.
Kae'Yoss
First Post
Talk about going with style. Imagine you're in Ravenloft, right next to the Necropolis. Three of your 4 companions ran away in terror at the sight of all those vampires you now face, not to mention that obviously powerful undead spellcaster (whom you know from before, and know that he's quite powerful). The vampires are either dead or gone, because of your daylight, but the other guy just stays, and orders you to leave this place or join the undead of the city.
And then say this: "What, you craven coward! Afraid of the sun and only crawling out of your hole in the darkness, and then gang up two to one on others."
He just cast wail of the banshee and killed the priestess on the spot, but it was one hell of a case for famous last words!"
And then say this: "What, you craven coward! Afraid of the sun and only crawling out of your hole in the darkness, and then gang up two to one on others."
He just cast wail of the banshee and killed the priestess on the spot, but it was one hell of a case for famous last words!"
