Gaming Style Issue

[Calico_Jack73]

Okay here is the deal, I DM one game on Sunday nights and am a Player in another on Wednesday nights. I had a player that recently left my Sunday group citing differences in gaming style as the reason which is totally valid. After years of playing and running WOD games I've become very free flow and don't typically bother looking up individual rules... I usually just use my own common sense. He on the other hand was something of a Rules Lawyer and liked the game to obey every rule in the book. Both are valid gaming styles. He also had a tendency to get very loud (several of my players agreed on this) and after most games I'd go to bed with a headache after having rules disputes yelled at me all night. The final straw for him was a house rule that didn't benefit the players (he had no problems with the other ones that did). I stood firm on the rule and he left.
Anyway, I just recently discovered that he is wanting to join my Wednesday group. Even though he left my Sunday group on decent terms it is still going to be a little "weird" if he joins my Wednesday group. I told my DM about what happened with this guy but obviously the decision on whether to let him join is still up to the DM. The majority of the players in my Wednesday group also play in my Sunday group and they have expressed that the game has run much more smoothly and has been more fun in general since he left. I don't want to feel uncomfortable if he joins but dang it I've been with this Wednesday group longer... I've got seniority. I don't want this to become a contest of who can tolerate the "weirdness" the longest. I'd almost equate it to the feeling of hanging out with an ex-girlfriend in a social setting. You may have broken up on good terms but you still can't relax in their presence.

What should I do? :\

 

[Henry]

One of those "maturity" lessons I parents always used to tell me but I never believed them until it was too late.

You apparently have two choices:

1) Learn to get along with the player in a social situation. You have to learn how to interact without friction for your own sake of fun and the fun of the group. If the player acts up in this group, then he'll likely be ejected from there, also. But otherwise, don't make it a big deal, and think of ways to work in this scenario without causing any friction yourself. You wouldn't want the group to think of YOU as the troublemaker.

2) If it's too weird to deal with, and the group shows no signs of uninviting the player, then you really have no choice but to leave yourself. If he comes in and the fun for you goes right out the window, there's not much point playing.

 

[Altamont Ravenard]

My only question is, what's the playing style of Wednesday's group?

The Rules Lawyer left your group because he didn't like your way of DM'ing. You're not DM'ing in Wednesday's group. There shouldn't be a problem if Wednesday's DM plays "by the rules" (or at least, moreso than you as a DM), I mean, if Wednesday's DM playing style fits more the playing style of the Rules Lawyer (and yours, obvisouly, since you seem to like playing in that group also), why should there be a problem?

Of course, if you're referring to the fact that you guys "broke up" and that it'll be weird to play with him, the best would simply to have a little talk with him before the next game (tonight?) and straighten things out. There's no reason why you guys can't get along anymore over this.

Does the guy in question know that Wednesday's group contains people from Sunday's group? Is he ok? If he is, why couldn't you be?

Just make sure, in Wednesday's game, that you do everything by the book or he'll come down on you like a hammer

AR

 

[Piratecat]

This has happened to me, too, in a shared gaming group with a player I had asked to leave my own group. Luckily, in my case the guy really was trying to hijack and ruin the game for everyone.

I put up with the disruptive player for as long as I could. After making sure that I wasn't the only player having an issue with this, I expressed my concerns to the DM, who spoke to the guy. He got better for two sessions. When he got really bad again, I spoke to the DM a second time. No improvement and the DM didn't want to confront him further, so I stopped going for a while myself. It had actually gotten to the point where is was more fun not to play than it was to play with this one fellow, so I did what I needed to.

The DM eventually eased the guy out of his own game, so I returned after that. It was an unfortunate circumstance, and I wish the whole thing hadn't left such a bad taste in my mouth.

 

[Calico_Jack73]

Does the guy in question know that Wednesday's group contains people from Sunday's group? Is he ok? If he is, why couldn't you be?

I doubt he knows. I think this is a case of him finding another gaming group in the same geographic area and getting my group by luck of the draw.

Just make sure, in Wednesday's game, that you do everything by the book or he'll come down on you like a hammer

Luckily I am playing a Half-Orc Barbarian. Not a lot of subtlety or non-standard rules that I need to keep in mind.

My only question is, what's the playing style of Wednesday's group?

The Rules Lawyer left your group because he didn't like your way of DM'ing. You're not DM'ing in Wednesday's group. There shouldn't be a problem if Wednesday's DM plays "by the rules" (or at least, moreso than you as a DM), I mean, if Wednesday's DM playing style fits more the playing style of the Rules Lawyer (and yours, obvisouly, since you seem to like playing in that group also), why should there be a problem?

Actually the DM is pretty free flow too. He tries to use the rules but isn't worried about it if he doesn't stick to them exactlly. If we find a mistake is made then we'll note it for future reference and press on.

 

[RangerWickett]

I feel I know the rules pretty well, barring a few 3.0 to 3.5 changes (e.g., Wounding weapons do Con damage now!), but I personally run a rules-loose game. When I play in others' games, I try to do what they want me to. In a rules-heavy game, I'll nitpick to make sure the DM doesn't get angry at himself for missing a rule. In a more rules-light game, I'll answer questions when asked by the DM, and when players are uncertain, I'll say stuff like, "Well, by the rules in the book, you only get one attack at the end of a charge, even if you have two weapons," and then I'll wait to see what the DM says.

And I played in one game where, the first time I tried to correct the DM -- "A fireball just goes off where you target it; you don't have to actually have it hit something and explode like a grenade" -- he laughed at me and said, "Well, that crazy rule speak might work where you come from, but we don't take kindly to lawyers 'round here." And I think I had the most fun in his game.

Hopefully the player can curb his rules lawyer-y tendencies.

 

[Keeper of Secrets]

Is the problematic player all that bad? I mean it does not sound like he is an outright jerk but at the same time there probably are some issues.

If he plays, maybe you could make a concentrated effort to be really nice and friendly to him, offering him the olive branch of peace. Maybe you guys could hit it off. Maybe I am living in a fantasy world, too.

 

[Altamont Ravenard]

Actually the DM is pretty free flow too. He tries to use the rules but isn't worried about it if he doesn't stick to them exactlly. If we find a mistake is made then we'll note it for future reference and press on.

Then he'll probably have the same problem in that group too, and he'll have to adjust (if he wants to play and there are no more groups to play with in the area) or he'll leave like he left your group.

Hope everything comes out fun for everyone!

AR

 

[diaglo]

it takes work to have fun...sometimes...

this is what people call delayed gratification.

work out the issues or move on.

life is too short to play crappy RPGs.