Gencon Couples, Help me!

[Keeper of Secrets]

FEAR NTL 4 IT IS TEH DEVIL!


I had a whole post here about the difference between real people and online personalities especially where the rules are more 'loose' as it may. But I deleted it for it need not bear repeating.




That's one of the bravest women I've ever known then. I salute her sir for she can weather a storm like no other!

Leo, as always, speaks the truth.

 

[ruaalien2]

15 months isn't all that when your talking about a lifetime commitment. Whether it's your first year of college or not isn't all that important, it's if it's your first year away. Any time there is a drastic change in time spent together then you have to worry about this kind of stuff. People grow apart when separated regardless of 15 months together or 15 years and lots of long distance relationships end and it's neither person's fault. If you don't talk about it and work at this then there is no chance at making it (I'll assume your young as your in college, neither of you have seen all of what's out in the world yet). It doesn't matter if he post about it here or not but it does matter that the two of you have a complete understanding of what's at stake and communicate with each other. Rest assured there will be another GenCon next year, but you will never get that two weeks back again, make it count.

Just note, I'm not disagreeing with you that there will be another Gen Con, not another two weeks till I leave.

 

[ruaalien2]

Speaking as a woman hauled to a Warhammer thing once (and I am a gamer, just not dorkhammer) ...*shudder* Have fun with the us time. It often consists of "huh what honey....give me a second *takes out ruler rolls some dice* " And "Hey baby i know you now grading but we got a break, lets go eat" or my personal fave *crawls into bed at some ungodly hour after ignoring you all day and gropes*

I applaud your positive attitude, just make sure you dont get the poopy end of the stick.

He'd have some black and blue body parts if he did that, and he knows it.

 

[ruaalien2]

Check out the event schedules for the con, find some stuff that looks interesting. If you don't see anything that grabs your interest -- or other stuff in Indy, for that matter -- don't go. It's not worth suffering through just because he wants you there. If, OTOH, you find a bunch of stuff that looks interesting, you should be able to have a fun time.

Basically, don't go just so you can be in the same city as him during the con. Go if you think you can have a lot of fun at the con. It really isn't worth the misery and resentment that going and suffering extreme boredom would cause.

I went to Gen Con for the first time last year, and my wife stayed home due to her work schedule and non-geek/gamer status. We missed each other, but it wasn't the end of the world. Actually, it was probably better that she didn't go - I don't think she would have enjoyed the con very much. Spending a couple of days apart isn't the end of the world (though it certainly does feel that way the first time you're apart for a few days after you've wedded).

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Edit: IRT the length-of-relationship stuff, it's irrelevant to the conversation. They've been together a while, they obviously have a goodly amount of affection for each other, and if they want to stay together, they will - regardless of whatever temptations or trials may arise due to the college separation. If they end up breaking up, that would happen with or without this Gen Con question. The relevant issue is whether going to the con will be fun for Rua or not.

He already knows I'm not oging just forhte sake of him. Once I checkedo ut the schedule I founda fewthings that I know I could enjoy, and add to that some minor league baseball, and I can be okay for 3-4 days.

Thank you for realizing that if we wind up breaking up it iwll have nothing to do with both of us, or one of us, going to Gen Con while the other stays home.

 

[ruaalien2]

If a convention is seen to be more important than (or even as important as) spending the last two weeks together then it is a question for them (not for us random people on the internet, but they did ask for opinions). I'm sure she can find something fun to do at the convention, it's not hard. The relevant question seems to be "can they have fun and spend time together at GenCon?"

I know if it was me and my wife was going somewhere else long term and our time together was going to be limited then this wouldn't even be a question, we'd spend as much time together as possible while we could (as we did last year before I had to spend two months in Thailand for work). Besides he's the one that brought resentment about not going into it and that goes a little bit deeper than just having fun or not. It sounds like the two of them need to sit down and have a talk with each other about the subject, as opposed to discussing it on a messageboard. Maybe I'm too old and have seen too much but it's not to hard to read this thread and recognize there is more going on here than just "Is GenCon fun for girlfriends".

We've talked about it, and he wasn't able to conivice me that I would have a good time and would be going for more then him and I would have a good time (then again, he didn't think to make me look at the schedule of events), which is why he made the post.

I know how much Gen Con means to him, so as unfair as it may be to me, I couldn't ask him to miss it. If he decides/decided not to go, that has to come 100% from him, and I know it won't.

 

[DonTadow]

Speaking as a woman hauled to a Warhammer thing once (and I am a gamer, just not dorkhammer) ...*shudder* Have fun with the us time. It often consists of "huh what honey....give me a second *takes out ruler rolls some dice* " And "Hey baby i know you now grading but we got a break, lets go eat" or my personal fave *crawls into bed at some ungodly hour after ignoring you all day and gropes*

I applaud your positive attitude, just make sure you dont get the poopy end of the stick.

I sound sappy, but the us time is the best part of Gencon for me and my girlfriend. I can't stand painiting, but I'll do a paint n take with her just so i can mess up the figure and she can laugh at my monotone painting on the way back.

That's not to say that everything has to be together. I knew my gf really liked gencon when she sacraficed rpg'n with me a couple of times in cali because she had "her own" events. I was kind of happy because I knew then she wasn't just there because of me she had found herself a niche.

 

[ruaalien2]

I sound sappy, but the us time is the best part of Gencon for me and my girlfriend. I can't stand painiting, but I'll do a paint n take with her just so i can mess up the figure and she can laugh at my monotone painting on the way back.

That's not to say that everything has to be together. I knew my gf really liked gencon when she sacraficed rpg'n with me a couple of times in cali because she had "her own" events. I was kind of happy because I knew then she wasn't just there because of me she had found herself a niche.

You don't sound sappy at all I'm actually kinda intrested in the beginners painting....maybe I'll drag Art to it if I go

I don't want everything to be together, I know there are a few things already that I saw that I would never be able to get him to do, and that's ok. I just don't want to feel like I see him for food, and when he crawls into bed with me, and that's it.

 

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

You don't sound sappy at all I'm actually kinda intrested in the beginners painting....maybe I'll drag Art to it if I go

The painting *is* really fun. It's laid back and generally enjoyable for gamers and non-gamers alike... painting is the only activity I could get my mother to wrap her brain around when I was younger...

One of my favorite activities last year at the Con (don't know if it's happening this year) was the Speed Painting contests. Get a really simple mini and an hour to paint it... my husband and I had a blast. Good-hearted competition is always entertaining.

 

[BrooklynKnight]

I sound sappy, but the us time is the best part of Gencon for me and my girlfriend. I can't stand painiting, but I'll do a paint n take with her just so i can mess up the figure and she can laugh at my monotone painting on the way back.

That's not to say that everything has to be together. I knew my gf really liked gencon when she sacraficed rpg'n with me a couple of times in cali because she had "her own" events. I was kind of happy because I knew then she wasn't just there because of me she had found herself a niche.

thanks for the good natured imput,
thats exactly the type of trip I want us to have..

If you're at the con this year with your lady, the 4 of us should have dinner or lunch together one of the days. Thanks.


And for the record, me and caryn have been discussing this trip and everything else offline too.

 

[CaptainCalico]

I'm just going to share my story:

14 years ago I tagged along to GC because it was something my then boyfriend (now husband) did every year. I liked fantasy/sci-fi, and I enjoyed hearing his gaming stories, but was too painfully shy to ever play in a game. I had a blast! The huckster's hall, the free seminars, the costume show - just plain people-watching.

Nowadays there is even more stuff to do: Anime, Hong-King Action Theatre, the Fan-Film Track, KODT Live Reading ect. Plus Indy has so much non-con stuff: The zoo, the art gallery, walking tours, that funky little arts district...

So now, we still go every year, and if we didn't make a point to eat at least one meal a day we might never see each other awake! It is not "together" time for us - it is "have experiences to generate intersting conversation" time - which is an all too often forgetten aspect of maintaining a long-term relationship.

Basically, for us, there are 3 rough categories of activities:

1) Things we do together, both enthusiastically. Our Sunday D&D game (I run, he plays) is the best example.

2) Things we do together, because 1 person wants to do it and the other one does not mind tagging along. My pilgrimmage to every garden center within a 2-hour radius each summer, his bagpipe competitions are good examples.

3) Things we do apart, because one person really likes it, and the other person would be bored and/or uncomfortable. GC provides the two best examples - I don't do minatures, he does not do LARPS. (yep, got over the shy thing somewhere along the way)

For you two GC as a whole might be a 2, or it might be a 3, you might find out this year, you might find out another year. Regardless you both seem sincere and you talk to each other, so I'm sure things will be fine.