General venting about civility (or Make love, not war)

[fba827]

I'm reading certain two threads and mentally tired by some of the argumentative personal exchanges that have developed. I could report those threads and may do so if the banter continues (though I stopped reading those threads). But for now, I am just making a general plea to please remember to be civil.

Simply put, I don't like logging on here after a long day and only end up reading page after page of two people posting retorts back and forth. While I do not have evidence to suggest that others feel the same way, I can only imagine that there are at least some others who do not come here to read a thread that has degenerated into personal arguments.

Don't get me wrong, generally the ENWorld community as a whole is good about being mature and monitoring themselves. Just sometimes a person or two seems to forget that they are posting messages read by thousands (?) of people rather than just typing words on the computer (as if some interactive personal journal that needs to have your opinions beat into it until it agrees). And, sure, some quibbles are expected and probably the norm. That doesn't mean I have to like it when people quibble.

If you think I'm silly for posting this, you are more than free to think that. Consider this my passive agressive way of venting and hoping that at least one person takes it into consideration the next time they feel like posting a knee-jerk response.

This may seem obvious in theory, but apperently it is not common practice.

Advice for Keeping Yourself in Check:

If you find yourself replying back to the same thread twice or more to refute or disagree with someone, chances are you're taking things a little too personally. Consider taking a step back and not replying, there are many other people who posts to the boards and another person may be in a better frame of mine to correct the other poster's statement.

subnote to advice for keeping yourself in check:

Stating historical fact in context of discussion or having an educated opinion on something is one thing... taking personal offense (or becoming defensive) about another's opinion (that really has nothing to do with you personally) is another.

Additional thought:
Before submitting the post, re-read it. Ask yourself is what you are about to say actually adding value to the thread as a whole?

Edit: added additional thought.

If you have even read this far, whether or not you agree, I thank you for your time.

 

[William Ronald]

I have noticed that some of the threads in the past few months have been a bit combative.

Perhaps a lot of it is the debate over 3.0 and 3.5. Additionally, the community has grown and many people do not know each other as well when Eric first put up his boards.

Still, I think the issue of civility should be addressed when at least a few posters seem to ignore the moderators. (Specifically, on the thread Edena of Neith started on the European heat wave. It seemed that some people were intentionally ignoring the no politics rule at EN World. Honestly, we should be able to discuss some issues without repeated moderator warnings.)

I have a great deal of respect for our moderators, and have had the pleasure of meeting some of them. They strike me as very reasonable people who truly enjoy our online community. However, I think that we need to make sure that they are not overworked.

So, here are a few guidelines I use.

1. Remember that everyone on this board is just as human as I am. If I believe that my opinions and person are entitled to respect, I should give that same respect to others.

2. Try not to post in anger. As angry as I might be with someone, I try to take a few minutes before I post. I have said things in anger that I have later regretted. Why add to that by posting something out of anger with the intent to hurt someone's feelings. It is one thing to strongly oppose a view. It is quite another to seem to oppose a person.

3. This is Morrus's board. If this were his house, I would respect his rules. These are his boards; I respect his rules.

4. You might learn something from someone who may play RPGs very differently from you. They may have an entirely different set of opinions. I would like to think that we all have something to learn from each other. I elaborated further on this in My 2000th post: Some musings on EN World

5. If you are arguing a point, it is always best to bring up specific facts as opposed to generalizations. I would like to think that everyone has a right to an opinion. Informed opinions are best, and an informed opinion is perhaps the best way to counter another informed opinion.

I would like to again say thanks to our moderators. At the risk of volunteering myself as a spokesman, I think most of us appreciate your hard work to keep these boards friendly and operational. Please keep up the good work.