George's Not So Mobile Home Park

redneckgeorge

Villager
As you walk along the road you come to a terrible sight along side the road. You see a sign that reads:George's Not So Mobile Home Park.

You see a beat up old wagon on blocks. There are two signs out front that read:No Womans Aloud! and Moonshine fur sales!. There is a rickety porch coming off of the wagon. The lawn looks to be about a foot high, with cans and bottles thrown about. There are a couple of lawn chairs on the porch and a cooler between them. On the side of the house you find broken wagon wheels laying up against the wagon.

Outback you here a chug,chug,slurp,swish. When you turn the corner there is a strange machine at work. After careful examination of it you see it is making a clear liquid and putting it in large glass bottles. You see a sign that reads 'Old Bessie' the best moonshine making machine.

As you come back around to the front there is a guy standing on the front porch scratching himself and drinking a beer. He sees you and smiles with a toothless grin.

"Watch can I's dos fur ya?" as he lifts a leg and lets out a loud one and starts to laugh.

"Damn should of had you pull my finger."
 
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redneckgeorge

Villager
George comes walking back into his park. With a big toothless grin on his face.

"Well I showed that hick who the boss man is."

George waddles up on to his rickty porch and cracks open a beer and slugs it down. Then takes the beer can and smashes it on his head. He looks over and grabs his banjo. George justs starts pickin away and before you know it he is up sing and doin the crazy dance you ever saw.

"Down here at my paaaarrrkkk. We want has to pee in the bushes when its daaarrrrkkk. For ur new s--tter is on its way. That S.O.B. better build it todaaaaayyyyyyy.
yeeeeeehhhhhhaaaa!"
George just lets the singing belt out making all the animals run and hide. The plant life itself tries to turn back into seeds so they can be underground and not have to hear this horrible crap.
 

Wicht

Adventurer
Sidhe Li dusts himself off and whistling walks to the back of the not so mobile home. There taking the stance of thunder he focuses himself and stamps. The earth shakes and then splits and a crack, three feet wide and twenty feet deep begins at his foot and cobwebs away.

Still whistling he leaves in his wagon for an hour or two and when he comes back he has the necessary lumber with which to build a little shack to place over the new-formed crack.

Within half an hour he is done and leaves. When George comes to check on the new building, he sees that it is everything he would want. All except for the door which is quite sturdy and padlocked shut.
 

redneckgeorge

Villager
George emerges from his wagon and stretches from his beauty sleep. He gives himself a good scratch or two, then looks about. That is when he spots it.

"Holy sheep sh-t. It's done and just in time to." George exclaims as he runs back into the house and grabs some readin material.

George starts to head towards the john when he sees it. His eyes widen and he drops his magazines.

"What in tarnations is this?" George says as he looks at the padlock.

George temples begin to turn red and smoke billows from his ears as he tries figure out how to remove the lock. He goes and gets a crowbar and tries it to no success. Next he gets a BFH and hammers away at it leaving more marks in the wood then in the lock. All of a sudden a very tiny light bulb appears above his head. George runs around back of his wagon. He comes back around with a stick of dynamite.

"I'll be sittin on the throne shortly." George says as he places the stick of dynamite on the lock and lights it.

George steps back a couple of feet and watches.

KABOOOOOOOM[/i]

The dynamite explodes sending George flying through the air and landing in the nearby scummy swim hole.

"Whooowheeee. That thar was one heck of a ride. I havn't had that murch fun since me and my brother/uncle/cousin were out wrastlin pigs in our skivies."

George walks back up to the outhouse. The door has been blown clean off and the outhouse tilts a little now to. George smiles as he picks up his magazines and sits on the throne.

"AHHH, success. Well look at the view I have from here now." he says as he sits on his throne.
 

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