WanderingMonster
First Post
Our regular schedule is biweekly on the same day. And we still can't manage to meet with a full compliment. It boggles the mind. 
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Getting People Together is Difficult
- Thread starter MadMaxim
- Start date
jdrakeh
Front Range Warlock
My next game is going to be a PBeM game specifically because of schedule constraints. I'm currently building a website and configuring some of my unused ISP inboxes to handle the mail flow. Hopefully being able to post turns once a week whenever will alleviate schedule conflicts.
Olgar Shiverstone
Legend
Yeah, scheduling can be a pain in the butt. Adult life = adult responsibilities, etc.
I find that setting an established schedule and sticking to it is best, because then people can plan around the game schedule as best they can. It can be tough to get that started, but once everyone adapts it works OK. It also means that people miss from time to time, but that's the price of gaming.
I also find that it's good to have 1-2 more players in the group than you'd consider ideal ... so if one person can't make it the game goes on, and if 2 can't make it the game probably still goes on. If you have to cancel a game due to too many conficts, rather than scheduling a make-up game, just move on to the next planned game on the schedule.
I find that setting an established schedule and sticking to it is best, because then people can plan around the game schedule as best they can. It can be tough to get that started, but once everyone adapts it works OK. It also means that people miss from time to time, but that's the price of gaming.
I also find that it's good to have 1-2 more players in the group than you'd consider ideal ... so if one person can't make it the game goes on, and if 2 can't make it the game probably still goes on. If you have to cancel a game due to too many conficts, rather than scheduling a make-up game, just move on to the next planned game on the schedule.
Not really. There are 7 of us, DM and 6 players. We meet Friday evenings. Ocassionally we have one who cant make it, any more than that its a no go. We've had better than average ability to get together. Occassionally we had a 3 week stretch of no chance of getting together, but over all its been fairly simple.
we're all mostly in our 30's......
we're all mostly in our 30's......
DeusExMachina
First Post
There are 7 of us and we always have an email conversation during the week to see what time during the weekend (saturday night is the standard time) allows for the most people to come over, although the DM has priority of course, since without the DM there's no game.
Most days at least 1 player isn't there, but we still play with 3 or more players, so cancelling is not something that happens a lot.
Most days at least 1 player isn't there, but we still play with 3 or more players, so cancelling is not something that happens a lot.
WayneLigon
Adventurer
Getting people together can be hard, but there are many ways to make it easier. The first thing that must happen, though, is to find players that will not treat Game Night as something you do if there's nothing better to do.
Of course sick kids, major family vacations, and emergencies take precedence. Some people with unpredictable jobs will also miss games. School schedules will mess with it for a time, but that can be managed. Once everyone is out of school, things should become much easier. Being married or having kids is not as huge an obstacle as people make it out to be: the rest of your life doesn't need to suddenly stop running. But you do have to learn time management and the value of saying 'no' to people.
What needs to happen is a tacit agreement among your players that you keep this one night open. In fact, it's not 'open', you already have a standing commitment with a previous social engagement: the game. And treat it like you would any other binding social engagement. You have a prior commitment, so it takes precedence.
If the guys after work want to go get drinks after work, tell them 'sure, but I need to leave by seven, previous engagement'. If your roomie has the latest hottest video game, play it tomorrow. If you'd tell your boss 'Sorry, I can't make the company picnic because my uncle is in town', the same applies here. Tell the in-laws that Saturday is simply not a good day to come down (again, if you haven't seen them for five years and they can't make any other day, that's different. If they live a hour away and you see them every time the clouds parts, tell 'em to push off and make it another day). You'll know not to make dinner commitments or agree to volunteer at church that night, much the same as you would not do so on your anniversary. This is why, once you have several married/out-of-college people it becomes slightly easier to play on a weeknight. 6-10 is easily doable for the vast majority of people. If it's NOT, then again you need to look at how you manage your time and how you can do it better.
If the SO doesn't game, I bet they still have a 'me day' where they like to get together with the girls or guys, or otherwise have a day or half-day apart. See if they can shift 'me day' to game day, so you get to go out and hang with your own 'me friends'.
Of course sick kids, major family vacations, and emergencies take precedence. Some people with unpredictable jobs will also miss games. School schedules will mess with it for a time, but that can be managed. Once everyone is out of school, things should become much easier. Being married or having kids is not as huge an obstacle as people make it out to be: the rest of your life doesn't need to suddenly stop running. But you do have to learn time management and the value of saying 'no' to people.
What needs to happen is a tacit agreement among your players that you keep this one night open. In fact, it's not 'open', you already have a standing commitment with a previous social engagement: the game. And treat it like you would any other binding social engagement. You have a prior commitment, so it takes precedence.
If the guys after work want to go get drinks after work, tell them 'sure, but I need to leave by seven, previous engagement'. If your roomie has the latest hottest video game, play it tomorrow. If you'd tell your boss 'Sorry, I can't make the company picnic because my uncle is in town', the same applies here. Tell the in-laws that Saturday is simply not a good day to come down (again, if you haven't seen them for five years and they can't make any other day, that's different. If they live a hour away and you see them every time the clouds parts, tell 'em to push off and make it another day). You'll know not to make dinner commitments or agree to volunteer at church that night, much the same as you would not do so on your anniversary. This is why, once you have several married/out-of-college people it becomes slightly easier to play on a weeknight. 6-10 is easily doable for the vast majority of people. If it's NOT, then again you need to look at how you manage your time and how you can do it better.
If the SO doesn't game, I bet they still have a 'me day' where they like to get together with the girls or guys, or otherwise have a day or half-day apart. See if they can shift 'me day' to game day, so you get to go out and hang with your own 'me friends'.
I'm 43 years old, and have been playing with people in my age range (down to about 20 and up to about 50) for ten years now, in two different regions, making two games a week on average with near-100% show up rates (on average, one person will miss one game a month, usually with a week's warning.)
We are all adults with jobs, spouses (who game with us), etc. No one lives in their parent's basement.
How do we manage this?
Because we ARE adults, dammit, and treat "the game" like *any* *other* *adult* *responsibility*. This is so damn simple I don't understand why so many groups have problems with it.
"Going to the game" is like "going to the gym" or "going to softball practice" or "going to the book club" or any other thing adults do, successfully, on a regular basis. You're a grown-up now. You know how much time you have, what responsibilities you have, how far you can drive, when you need to be up for work. You make the game PART OF YOUR LIFE and allow for it. Does it conflict with Little Billy's After School Program? Well, decide how to deal with it -- either ask if game night can be switched, or find someone else to pick up Little Billy, or drop the game -- whatever works best for you. Don't make "game night" into "that thing we do if there's nothing else happening". Make it "the thing that's happening", and, if it happens to be cancelled for some reason, THEN you have "a free night -- let's go to the movies/stay home/visit grandma/whatever".
If you can't make a schedule and stick to it, barring the inevitable emergency and chaos which happens in life, your problem isn't "now that I'm an adult, I have no time to game". Your problem isude, you aren't an adult yet. Sorry.
) happens -- I get that. If it happens to you EVERY WEEK, though...the fault, dear Brutus, lies not in our stars, but in ourselves.)
(And, sure, there's times after a long day when I don't want to go the game. I just want to stay home. Y'know what? I go anyway. Why? Because I'm an adult, and I made a commitment, and you don't break commitments because "I was just too tired, man.")
As a side note, even if some people can't show -- get together anyway. Play Cataan. Or something. Don't try to run a game with an ever-changing cast. My rule is "Run the game if one player can't make it, run something else for a night if two players can't make it." Keeping things consistent and regular -- not skipping a week anytime one person can't show up -- is key.
As another side note -- make sure spouses/SOs game. Thqat way, the game becomes "the thing I do with my wife/husband/lover/boytoy/whatever" instead of "The thing I do that pisses off my etc.".
We are all adults with jobs, spouses (who game with us), etc. No one lives in their parent's basement.
How do we manage this?
Because we ARE adults, dammit, and treat "the game" like *any* *other* *adult* *responsibility*. This is so damn simple I don't understand why so many groups have problems with it.
"Going to the game" is like "going to the gym" or "going to softball practice" or "going to the book club" or any other thing adults do, successfully, on a regular basis. You're a grown-up now. You know how much time you have, what responsibilities you have, how far you can drive, when you need to be up for work. You make the game PART OF YOUR LIFE and allow for it. Does it conflict with Little Billy's After School Program? Well, decide how to deal with it -- either ask if game night can be switched, or find someone else to pick up Little Billy, or drop the game -- whatever works best for you. Don't make "game night" into "that thing we do if there's nothing else happening". Make it "the thing that's happening", and, if it happens to be cancelled for some reason, THEN you have "a free night -- let's go to the movies/stay home/visit grandma/whatever".
If you can't make a schedule and stick to it, barring the inevitable emergency and chaos which happens in life, your problem isn't "now that I'm an adult, I have no time to game". Your problem is
ude, you aren't an adult yet. Sorry.) happens -- I get that. If it happens to you EVERY WEEK, though...the fault, dear Brutus, lies not in our stars, but in ourselves.)(And, sure, there's times after a long day when I don't want to go the game. I just want to stay home. Y'know what? I go anyway. Why? Because I'm an adult, and I made a commitment, and you don't break commitments because "I was just too tired, man.")
As a side note, even if some people can't show -- get together anyway. Play Cataan. Or something. Don't try to run a game with an ever-changing cast. My rule is "Run the game if one player can't make it, run something else for a night if two players can't make it." Keeping things consistent and regular -- not skipping a week anytime one person can't show up -- is key.
As another side note -- make sure spouses/SOs game. Thqat way, the game becomes "the thing I do with my wife/husband/lover/boytoy/whatever" instead of "The thing I do that pisses off my etc.".
el-remmen
Moderator Emeritus
Our regular schedule is biweekly on the same day. And we still can't manage to meet with a full compliment. It boggles the mind.
Yeah.
I'm in the same boat. I mean, we usually all meet, and have a rule that we still play when 1 man down, but not when 2 - but I mean, I am amazed at some of my players' seeming inability to keep track of something as easy as "every two weeks".
It is not that I don't understand that other things come up, but rather - if you know we play every two weeks and something else comes up that can't be missed/rescheduled, then try to give some notice so we can discuss options - or at the very least let me as the DM have a chance to prepare for the absence.
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