I stated my preferred solution in an earlier post. Get rid of the ever escalating defenses, let damage increase with level/training, and just have hit points do their job. The minion problem is only a problem due to the MMO style narrow effective level range. If a monster is too many levels below a PC it can never hit. Likewise, a monster that is too many levels above cannot be hit.
I can see that as an interesting approach to a game. On the other hand, I imagine such a fundamental shift would have more than a few other difficulties arise. Among other things, I would expect to see a system like that end up with a much more limited array of options, in order to avoid potential abuse from over-optimization. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing - a more limited system would also make for an easier one to adapt to - but it might not be for all players.
Not a thing. Without any staying power the scrawny scribe will also be able to lay them out with a punch. That feels out of place. If we alter the nature of something to be relevant in different ways to different people then we have narrative constructs, not representative attributes. If a declaration is made that orc mook #1 gets dropped by a mean stare by Hulko the fighter, but linkboy Nodwick would have to carve through 25 hp against that same mook based on some circumstance or outcome that we desire for a story then we have waved goodbye to the game portion of rpg.
Except 4E minions still have scaling defenses. The scrawny scribe doesn't have a great melee attack bonus without investing something in it. It might scale somewhat to level, but Hulko the fighter has significant bonuses from his strength, magic weapon, and random bonuses from class, feats, etc.
Thus, if they both wade into a room filled with orc minions, Hulko will cleave through them, cutting them down in all directions. The scribe will probably be cowering behind him, and occasionally get in a lucky swing and smack an orc over the head with his spellbook, dropping it.
Is that really unreasonable? What benefit would your system have over this? Instead of swinging 4 times and getting in one lucky blow to drop a mook, a wizard caught in melee would swing 4 times for trivial damage until the enemy finally drops? Or would the wizard's attack bonus still be poor, and thus he would need to swing 16 times in order to accumulate enough trivial damage to fell a simple enemy mook?
Or was your reference to a scribe not referring to a wizard PC for some reason forced to use fists instead of magic, but to a purely mundance scribe NPC caught in battle with orc minions. In which case... again, he probably will only drop a minion with the occasional hit, which I have no issues with - a companion of the PCs, in over his head, who occasionally lands a lucky blow seems entirely reasonable. Or are you proposing some hypothetical off-screen fight between a bunch of scrawny scribes and random orc raiders?
In which case... really, that's not a scene you need to be rolling out to begin with.
Absolutely correct. In a fantasy story, the author has happen whatever is needed to advance said story to it's desired conclusion. Does the author roll dice to see if his/her hero makes it through alive? Of course not because there is no game being played. The story is what it is. No serious blow could be landed without the will of the author allowing it.
Look, I'll be the first to admit that drawing comparisons between a game and a story can oft be a futile approach. But you are specifically complaining about minions not making sense in the context of the game world. Whether it is random or decided by an author, it makes perfect sense for a hero to still perceive basic enemy grunts as possible threats, and it makes perfect sense that he can dispatch them with ease when he needs a more serious duel to take down their leader.
I'm really not sure what your response has to do with the argument at hand. You laid the claim that the problem with minions is that they don't feel real within the game world. Whether dice are being rolled or not, they work just as well in the game as in classic fantasy stories, as in movies like Lord of the Rings - most enemies the main characters fight are felled with ease, with only the truly dangerous threats requiring more significant opposition. The fighter can carve through orc mooks in order to do battle with the orc chieftain. Whether in the context of a story or a game, it seems entirely consistent to me!