Gorm Twoface defeats Kerall

[Zappo]

A man stands in the clearing. He wears a plain white kimono and an old yellow belt. Though young, he bears a few wrinkles on his forehead - maybe the mark of past tragedies. A gold chain can be seen around his neck; whatever is attached to it is hidden by the kimono. A steel kama is strapped to his belt. Kerall waits for an opponent.

Stipulations: challenge open to all White Belts and 2nd Tier fighters, except those whom I've already fought twice. Speed or normal, strategy or style, but no standard match. In case of strategy, the moves will be judge-generated. Winner of insults decides, as usual.

Time: I'm at GMT +1, so know that the match may last more than a day.

 

[nsruf]

The ground shakes as some sort of huge creature approaches. Two voices can be heard talking to each other and both speakers seem to be in a bad mood:

"Stoopid city people. All screaming and running away!"

"You shouldn't have swatted that donkey! People are not going to hire us if you behave like that. How often do I have to tell you?"

"But..."

"No but! At least we managed to grab some stuff. These new garments are much better than those filthy hides."

The speaker(s) come into view and the sight is quite extraordinary: a two-headed giant, nearly 3m tall and with blueish skin, walks towards the clearing at a leisurely pace. The heads are talking with each other and pay little heed to the surroundings. One of them can hardly be seen under a mass of tangled hair, while the other one is bald but for its carefully trimmed beard. The latter head also seems to be the smarter one of the two.

But as if the creature itself was not strange enough, its attire is even worse. The ogre's new clothes do look suspiciously like a tent, colored a faded green and bearing many patches, but seem nevertheless a source of pride to one of the heads. Apparently, the giant's only other piece of equioment consists of a cardboard sign with the crudely drawn inscription:

hIRe mE!

It sounds like a threat, somehow...

As the ogre finally notices you, standing onlya few feet away, his bald head immediately snaps at you:

"I am Gorm and we are in a bad mood, so bugger off! I mean, look at you. A limping cripple who is hiding out here in the woods because he can't hold on to a decent piece of real estate to live on. Probably sharing a cave with a filthy old hermit who claims to be some kung-fu master so people leave him alone. But so far, he hasn't taught you anything but to take out the trash and sweep the floor, eh? I know that story and couldn't care less!"

Waving an arm dismissively:

"Shoo!"

I find your teacher to be sickly, your lands to be tattered, and your leg to be awful.

OOC: It is GMT +1 hour where I live, too, but I would still like a normal match. And preferably a strategy one, as I have not tried that mode yet.

 

[Zappo]

After having taken a good look at this weird creature, Kerall says: "You filthy son of the son of filth! You talk about real estate, but do you have any? Nah, I think the gnats must have eaten all of it. How can you ever concentrate on something, if you keep... uhm... talking to yourself? Yourselves? Whatever!"

I find your grandfather to be malodorous, your orchard to be infested, and your concentration to be quaint.

Edit: OOC: Winner of insults decides

 

[Berandor]

I offer you my judgement, but I live GMT+1, so... duh!

Berandor

 

[Zappo]

I offer you my judgement, but I live GMT+1, so... duh!

PERFECT! We all live at GMT +1! What more could we want?

 

[nsruf]

OOC: Berandor, I'l gladly accept you as judge. This match might not take as long as I thought, if we are all online now

 

[Berandor]

A thunderous voice proclaims out of the sky,
"The ancient masters have decreed this match to take place at the caves south-east of the Guardian Range on the dusk of the frog!

And here is your judge!"

"yaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaAAAARGH!" A small man falls from the sky, wearing a pointy head proclaiming him to be a "jahdge".

He climbs out of the crater he landed in, and dusts off his dirty robe.
"Well, well, what have we here? Two young warriors standing off? I hope not only with words, for Gorm Twoface is cearly better at that. Now, get it on."

 

[nsruf]

Gorm eyes the judge suspiciously:

"How you survive? You look like opponent AFTER Gorm has finished?"

"Ok, Mr. Jahdge, so I get to set the terms. How about a nice, drawn-out, strategical fight, for I feel like breaking every bone in my opponents body."

*** Gorm chooses a 3 flag (non-speed) strategy match ***

 

[Zappo]

Judge-generated or player-generated?

 

[nsruf]

*** Gorm's first hand of moves (used) ***

• (used)The falcon sinuously leaps over the island; redirects the tempest of the rosewood!
• (used)The scorpion demolishes the pond; fends off the edge of the canine!
• The hammer strikes over the ruins; quells the terror of the ember!
• The vine tracks over the castle; shields the assailment of the mist!
• (used)The tree crushes the heavens; defends against the gaze of the cat!

OOC: Sorry, simultaneous post. If you are more comfortable with judge generated moves, the above are void. But I don't mind player generated.